If I Die Young

The clock read 12:05. I’ve been sitting in the living room since Jamie left on her date. I had acted like I was just watching TV when she left. I acted like I didn’t care that she was going on a date with a guy that wasn’t me. But I was acting. I knew that the guy was all wrong for her. He didn’t understand her. He didn’t know her like I knew her.

He would be surprised when she didn’t trust him like he would trust her. He would be taken back when she told him that she was going to die young and didn’t mind it one bit. He would run away when he realized that Jamie would never love him.

The door slowly was opened. I was guessing it was Jamie because everyone else was home. I watched as Jamie’s figure made its way through the door way.

“I had a nice time. I’ll see you later, Andrew,” Jamie called from the door, waving by to him.

When she turned around, I could see a smile on her face. It fell when she saw me.

“What are you doing, Scott?” she asked with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Watching TV. What does it look like I’m doing?” I replied, gesturing to the TV.

“You were doing the same thing when I left on my date.”

“Your point is?”

“I think you’re spying on me. You can’t stand that I’m with a guy that’s not you.”

I laughed even though she hit it dead on.

“You’re funny,” I said, standing up.

She rolled her eyes as I passed on the way to my room.

≈

Jackson had found some reason to throw another party. It has only been three days since the last one. I watched as the people I didn’t know get drunk and make out with strangers. Most of them did this to get rid of the pain they had. I wish I could do the same. But I never found that a way to get rid of my pain. I thought it was better to not talk about it and sit quietly in the back. It was only three hours into the party and I was already sick of it. I was thinking about hopping in my car and driving away but I ended up where I always did during these parties; on the porch. I sat there looking at the stars drinking my beer. It was quiet other than the faint sounds of the music in the house. I didn’t really mind them. I didn’t like silence that much.

“Andrew, stop,” I heard Jamie’s voice from around the side of the house.

Jamie had invited Andrew to the party. It was the only time they had since each other since their date. I saw them dancing and walked the other way. Maybe they’re part of the reason I came outside in the first place.

“Andrew, I mean it. Stop.” Her voice was sterner this time. She really meant it.

“Oh come on, babe. You like it,” Andrew said, slurring his words a little bit letting me know he was slightly drunk.

“Actually I don’t. So get off of me.”

This time her voice had panic in it. I jumped up moving to see what was going on. I wanted to make sure I need to jump before I actually did. I saw this Andrew guy’s lips attached to Jamie’s neck. They were moving farther down with every kiss. Jamie was trying to push him off of her but fail since his arms were locked tightly around her waist. She had a look on her face that was asking for him.

“Oh don’t lie. Just stop fighting it.” I watched as he slipped his hand up her shirt.

“Please stop, Andrew,” Jamie pleaded.

“No,” was all he said before he threw her to the ground.

At that time, I went running. I threw Andrew off of Jamie. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Jamie shakily pull herself off the ground and run off to a safer place. I slammed Andrew on the fence, making him look at me in the eye.

“What the hell do you think you were doing?” I asked anger present in my voice.

“None of your business, man. It’s between Jamie and I,” Andrew spat in our face.

“It is if you’re trying to make her do something she doesn’t want to do.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about. She wanted it.”

“You’re a fucking creep.”

Andrew snapped. He pushed me off of him. He didn’t stop there. He punched me and I went down. I heard Jamie gasp as I hit the grass. Struggling to get up, I saw Andrew grab Jamie’s arm, pulling her along as he made his way to his car. I ran after him. I grabbed his shoulder, turning him around and punched him right back. He let go off Jamie’s arm, falling back into his car that caught him before he could hit the ground. He regained his balance before he tackled me to the ground. Punches were thrown that hit him more than me before Jackson came out of the house with the rest of the guys and pulled us apart.

“What the heck is going on here?” Jackson asked, looking between me and Andrew.

“He tried to take advantage of Jamie,” I yelled still fuming over what just happened.

“She wanted it. She threw herself at me. She’s just another slut,” Andrew yelled. I watched Jamie’s face changed to shocked. She thought he was a good guy.

I yanked my way out of Alec’s grasp. No one tried to stop me from punching Andrew once again. I watched as Zack let him fall to the ground. I went to Jamie, making her look at me.

“Are you ok?” I asked as I cupped her cheek.

She didn’t say anything. Her eyes were filled with water. I knew the words he just said hit her harder than anyone thought it would. I had to get Jamie away from him.

“Get him out of here. I don’t want to see him ever around here again,” I stated calmly as I watched Zack and Alec already grab Andrew’s arms.

I gently lead Jamie into the house and to my room. I watched as she sat on the edge of my bed, trying not to cry. She thought she was weak.

“Jamie, you okay?” I asked, moving closer to her.

It was silence for a while. I thought she might leave and lock herself in her room.

“He’s right ya know?” Jamie said so softly that I almost didn’t hear her.

“No, he’s not. You’re nothing like what he said you were. You never threw yourself at him. You’re better than that. He’s just mad that he didn’t get some,” I said, wrapping my arms around her.

“Then why did he say? He had to be more than just mad to say something that awful.” She was pulled in close to my chest. I place my chin on the top of her head.

“Because he’s a jackass that’s why.” I heard her sigh sadly. Pulling apart, I looked into her eyes. There were still tears threatening to run down her beautiful face, staining it. “You know it’s ok to cry. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”

She laughed before letting the tears running down her cheeks. I pulled her into my chest letting her cry into it, probably ruining my shirt. But I didn’t care. I just let her cry into my chest. It was weird listening to her let her walls down.

“I’m so sorry,” Jamie sobbed out.

“For what, babe?” I asked, smoothing her hair.

“For being such a jerk to you. You didn’t deserve it.”

“Shush, Jamie it’s okay.” I rubbed her back still letting her sob into my chest.