If I Die Young

Jamie and I seemed to being getting closer and spending more time together since we’ve made up. The guys have noticed that too. Jackson said it was like we were attached at the hip. I brushed it off like it was nothing, trying not to make a big deal about it but there was something in the back of my mind that said something was. Maybe it was what happened between her and Andrew. Part of me was thinking that she was afraid if she was alone it would happen again. I would never dare bring that up to her. She only let her walls down when she wanted to. If you tried to make her, she shut down completely. I couldn’t let that happen.

I watched as Jamie looked around the clothing store she wanted to look in. I pretty sure she forgot I was there. Zack and Alec were on the other side of the store trying to stir up some trouble. Jackson was watching them, ready to step in if they got too crazy.

“Find anything you like?” I whispered in her stood behind her with my hands on her hips. I felt her jump a little.

“Not really. I’m not into the whole fashion thing,” she replied, turning around. My hands stay on her hips.

I suppressed a laugh. She was wearing an old college shirt that used to be Jackson’s with hole in it, jeans with holes in the knees that showed her freckled knees and battered Toms. Anyone could tell she wasn’t one for fashion. But she looked amazing in anything she wore.

“You know what I would rather do?” Jamie asked.

“What?”

“Go to the next place.” I laughed.

“Ok. Let’s tell the guys we’re leaving.”

≈

I held Jamie’s hand as we drove. The guys weren’t happy about us leaving them but they would have to get over it. Jamie looked out the window, trying to figure out where we were. I knew she was wondering if we were going to be by any water. I guess she needed something to hold over my head if I tried to kiss her again. She didn’t say anything. She was in deep thought.

I pulled into the cemetery. Jamie never said a word. I knew that she was wondering why I would take her here. I got out, hoping she would follow my lead. She did. I grabbed her hand and pulled her to where the grave would be.

“Adam Jonathan Matthews,” Jamie whispered in shocked. She looked to me. “This is your brother’s grave?”

“Yes,” was all I could manage out.

“Why did you take me here?” She didn’t sound upset. Just curious if anything.

“Because it’s important to me. I know that if something is important to me, it’s important to you, too.” Jamie smiled. “And I wanted to you to see why I refuse to believe that you will die young. My brother, Adam, had so much life in him. He had a whole life a head of him. It was just taken away from him like that. I don’t want that to happen to you. You deserve to live your life. You deserve to have all the experiences you want. You deserve a lifetime.”

I could see the tears forming in Jamie’s eyes. “Scott, I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I just thought you should what I think.”

Jamie let a tear escape. She pulled me into a hug. I could feel a few tears fall on my shirt. I didn’t say anything about it; I just hugged her back.

“I’m sorry,” Jamie said, pulling away. I reached out and wiped the last tear away from her face.

“Don’t be.”

“It’s just that no one has ever thought that I deserve something.”

I shook my head. “That’s not true. The guys think you deserve the world and more.”

“No, they don’t. They feel sorry for me. My parents kicked me out. They thought I was worthless, undeserving. My brother won’t even talk to me. Andrew thought I didn’t deserve to be respected. Let’s face it, Scott, I don’t deserve anything. That’s why I’m going to die young.”
My heart broke right there. Jamie had officially let all her walls down.

“You know that’s not true. The guys think you deserve the best. They would kick anyone’s ass if they thought otherwise. They don’t feel sorry for you. Your parents are idiots. They don’t know how much of amazing person you are. They will never know. Neither will your brother. As for Andrew, he’s just a jackass who has no respect for woman what so ever. He doesn’t deserve you.” I cupped her cheek, rubbing my thumb over it. “You sell yourself short.”

Jamie smiled a smile that melted my heart. “Thanks, Scott.”

“Anytime. We should being getting home. It’s getting dark.”

≈

We opened the door to our house to find it filled with people. The music was sign that the guys had decided to throw a party while we were gone. It was probably to get back at us for leaving. Jamie just laughed, shaking her head. We throw way to many parties in this place.

“Well, we know what the guys did while we were gone,” I yelled over the music to Jamie.

She laughed again before grabbing my wrist. She pulled me to the dance floor.

“Dance with me,” she screamed, making me laugh.

“I thought we went over this. I don’t dance.”

“Oh, come on. For me?”

I sighed but nodded. She clapped her hands together before placing my hands on her hips. She threw her arms around my neck.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“We’re going junior high, baby.”

I laughed.

“Moose,” Zack called from the other side of the room. I’m surprised that we could hear him over all the music. He started toward us.

“Well that lasted long,” I said sarcastically.

Jamie smiled at me, shrugging her shoulders in a way to say that she was sorry. We watched as Zack walked toward us. By the looks of it, he was beyond wasted like always.

“Moose,” he slurred wrapped his arms around her neck. “Take care of me. Please?” He batted his eye lashes at her. She shook her head, laughing at his drunkenness.

“Sorry,” Jamie said, directing it toward me. “I kind of have to. He might pass out.”

“That’s fine. I figured.”

She lend over and kissed my cheek, leaving it there longer that usually. “Thanks, Scott. Thanks for everything.”

I smiled. I could still feel her lips on my cheek as I watched her help Zack up the stairs.