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Caught In The Middle
Chapter 11
I’m sitting with Jonathan as everyone was enjoying themselves at the rehearsal dinner. Jonathan squeezed my hand as Brayden and Candace thank everyone for coming and to enjoy the wedding tomorrow. I noticed TJ wasn’t here as I scanned through the room.
“You seem lost tonight.” Jonathan finally took notice that I didn’t want to be here. “Are you alright?”
“I’m still thinking about Mom and how I miss her.” I clutched my napkin as that was the only way to keep myself from not falling apart. “I should have never gone to Europe.”
“Your mom is probably smiling somewhere.” He squeezed my hand one more time as I look at him. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Besides, tomorrow’s your sister’s wedding.”
“You said you need to tell me something. What is it?”
“I don’t think this is the right place to tell you.”
“You were ready to tell me last night.” At that moment, Dad came over and gave Jonathan a slap on the back.
“Treating my little girl like a princess?” Dad asked with a smirk on his face. “How about we have a game tomorrow with Brayden before the ceremony?” I couldn’t take this anymore. I needed to get out and just run.
“I’m going back to the cottage. Excuse me.” I got up and walked out, not looking back and not caring if Candace or anyone stops me.
It’s been a year and it’s very hard to get over someone’s death, especially if it’s a parent. I’m still hard on myself for not being there to tell her I love her. What made it worse is that I never got around telling TJ what I was going to tell him.
*June 2010*
I’ve been in Europe for the past couple of weeks and enjoying every minute of it. I’ve been to Amsterdam, Brussels, Luxembourg, Cologne, and now we’re in Frankfurt. We’re not coming home in another couple of days but I already going to miss being here. Having TJ as a companion during this trip made it more fun. If I was with Justine, she would want to go out shopping and hook up with boys. If I was with Candace, she would want to stay in nothing but 5-star hotels. As awkward as it may seem at first, it worked out. We stayed in separate beds and worked a bathroom schedule so we don’t walk in on each other.
However, as the days went by, something inside me started to come to the surface. For the first time, we didn’t have any family or friends to disturb us. It was just Tim and Mallory against the World and I like it. I know there will be consequences once we’re back home but I don’t think I could deny it anymore.
“Hey Mom.” I started to talk on the phone. For some reason, my mother isn’t picking up her cell phone so I’m leaving a message. “It’s me Mally. I guess I’ve missed you or you’re still sleeping, even though it’s 9am over there. I’m having a great time here but can’t wait to come home in a couple of days. And… I’m nervous to say this but… I’m in love with him. Yes Mommy, I’m in love with TJ. I’m planning to tell him tonight. I’ll try to call you later. Love you, Mom.”
I hung up the phone and as I heard TJ walking into the room. I’m nervous to be around him. I thought about it all throughout the trip and try to figure out when he wasn’t in my life. I don’t know how this happened but it did… and it feels good. Now I hope he feels the same way about me.
“How’s the birthday girl?” TJ brought back a bag full of stuff from the market. “Did you talk to your mother?”
“It’s odd. She never leaves her phone off. By the way, my birthday’s tomorrow.”
“I know. Just want to be ahead of the game.” He sat beside me as he looks at the phone. “Did you call your father? Your sisters?”
“Went to straight to voicemail. I’ll just try them later. I’ll see you later.” I got up and grabbed my purse.
“Where are you going?”
“Need to buy something. We’re still up for dinner, right?”
“Yeah dinner at 7.”
“Cool. By the way, I have something to tell you.” I smiled as I left the room. I couldn’t believe this. I’m ready to tell him how I feel. We haven’t kiss other and the thought of that just made me be giddy in anticipation.
After finding something at the shop, I decided to put it on in the hotel lobby’s bathroom. I want to surprise TJ what I’m planning to wear. I found a lime green top and a black mini skirt for a bargain, but it’s the bra and thong set I bought that I couldn’t wait to show TJ. We’ve known each other for so long that it seems like a relationship without the kissing and sex. This may be a big leap but I’m ready to put all my cards in.
I knocked on the door to our room, excited about what will happen tonight when TJ opened the door. I was expecting him to be blown away but the look on his face is telling me something.
“Teej, what’s wrong?” I asked as I walked in. “I thought you were getting ready.”
“Yeah I was.” He closed the door and walked towards me, giving me a hug.
“Do I look okay?” I pulled away and showed him what I was wearing. “Plus I bought something for my Mom. She loves snow globes so I thought I should buy her one.” I looked up and saw TJ looked very serious. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”
“Mallory, promise me you’ll be strong.” He held my shoulder as I was wondering what was happening. “We might have to fly back home tomorrow or even as soon as possible.”
“What’s going on? Tell me.”
“Your mother collapsed in the bathroom this morning of an apparent heart attack.” I didn’t bother to hear the rest as the snow globe fell on the floor.
I looked up in the sky, praying to God to bring my mother back. But I know that’s impossible. I wish she was here to tell me what I should do. I’ve been keeping a brave face for a while now but everything seems to be crashing all at once.
“Don’t cry, Mallory Krause.” TJ surprised me as he sat on the bench behind me. “Jonathan told me you left the party so I decided to join you.” I placed my head on his shoulder and let the water fountain in front of us echo our ears.
My feelings for him were put away after that moment in that hotel room. I felt it was a sign that I shouldn’t tell him how I feel. My feelings for him should be six feet under, just like my sweet mother.
“You seem lost tonight.” Jonathan finally took notice that I didn’t want to be here. “Are you alright?”
“I’m still thinking about Mom and how I miss her.” I clutched my napkin as that was the only way to keep myself from not falling apart. “I should have never gone to Europe.”
“Your mom is probably smiling somewhere.” He squeezed my hand one more time as I look at him. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. Besides, tomorrow’s your sister’s wedding.”
“You said you need to tell me something. What is it?”
“I don’t think this is the right place to tell you.”
“You were ready to tell me last night.” At that moment, Dad came over and gave Jonathan a slap on the back.
“Treating my little girl like a princess?” Dad asked with a smirk on his face. “How about we have a game tomorrow with Brayden before the ceremony?” I couldn’t take this anymore. I needed to get out and just run.
“I’m going back to the cottage. Excuse me.” I got up and walked out, not looking back and not caring if Candace or anyone stops me.
It’s been a year and it’s very hard to get over someone’s death, especially if it’s a parent. I’m still hard on myself for not being there to tell her I love her. What made it worse is that I never got around telling TJ what I was going to tell him.
*June 2010*
I’ve been in Europe for the past couple of weeks and enjoying every minute of it. I’ve been to Amsterdam, Brussels, Luxembourg, Cologne, and now we’re in Frankfurt. We’re not coming home in another couple of days but I already going to miss being here. Having TJ as a companion during this trip made it more fun. If I was with Justine, she would want to go out shopping and hook up with boys. If I was with Candace, she would want to stay in nothing but 5-star hotels. As awkward as it may seem at first, it worked out. We stayed in separate beds and worked a bathroom schedule so we don’t walk in on each other.
However, as the days went by, something inside me started to come to the surface. For the first time, we didn’t have any family or friends to disturb us. It was just Tim and Mallory against the World and I like it. I know there will be consequences once we’re back home but I don’t think I could deny it anymore.
“Hey Mom.” I started to talk on the phone. For some reason, my mother isn’t picking up her cell phone so I’m leaving a message. “It’s me Mally. I guess I’ve missed you or you’re still sleeping, even though it’s 9am over there. I’m having a great time here but can’t wait to come home in a couple of days. And… I’m nervous to say this but… I’m in love with him. Yes Mommy, I’m in love with TJ. I’m planning to tell him tonight. I’ll try to call you later. Love you, Mom.”
I hung up the phone and as I heard TJ walking into the room. I’m nervous to be around him. I thought about it all throughout the trip and try to figure out when he wasn’t in my life. I don’t know how this happened but it did… and it feels good. Now I hope he feels the same way about me.
“How’s the birthday girl?” TJ brought back a bag full of stuff from the market. “Did you talk to your mother?”
“It’s odd. She never leaves her phone off. By the way, my birthday’s tomorrow.”
“I know. Just want to be ahead of the game.” He sat beside me as he looks at the phone. “Did you call your father? Your sisters?”
“Went to straight to voicemail. I’ll just try them later. I’ll see you later.” I got up and grabbed my purse.
“Where are you going?”
“Need to buy something. We’re still up for dinner, right?”
“Yeah dinner at 7.”
“Cool. By the way, I have something to tell you.” I smiled as I left the room. I couldn’t believe this. I’m ready to tell him how I feel. We haven’t kiss other and the thought of that just made me be giddy in anticipation.
After finding something at the shop, I decided to put it on in the hotel lobby’s bathroom. I want to surprise TJ what I’m planning to wear. I found a lime green top and a black mini skirt for a bargain, but it’s the bra and thong set I bought that I couldn’t wait to show TJ. We’ve known each other for so long that it seems like a relationship without the kissing and sex. This may be a big leap but I’m ready to put all my cards in.
I knocked on the door to our room, excited about what will happen tonight when TJ opened the door. I was expecting him to be blown away but the look on his face is telling me something.
“Teej, what’s wrong?” I asked as I walked in. “I thought you were getting ready.”
“Yeah I was.” He closed the door and walked towards me, giving me a hug.
“Do I look okay?” I pulled away and showed him what I was wearing. “Plus I bought something for my Mom. She loves snow globes so I thought I should buy her one.” I looked up and saw TJ looked very serious. “Seriously, what’s wrong?”
“Mallory, promise me you’ll be strong.” He held my shoulder as I was wondering what was happening. “We might have to fly back home tomorrow or even as soon as possible.”
“What’s going on? Tell me.”
“Your mother collapsed in the bathroom this morning of an apparent heart attack.” I didn’t bother to hear the rest as the snow globe fell on the floor.
I looked up in the sky, praying to God to bring my mother back. But I know that’s impossible. I wish she was here to tell me what I should do. I’ve been keeping a brave face for a while now but everything seems to be crashing all at once.
“Don’t cry, Mallory Krause.” TJ surprised me as he sat on the bench behind me. “Jonathan told me you left the party so I decided to join you.” I placed my head on his shoulder and let the water fountain in front of us echo our ears.
My feelings for him were put away after that moment in that hotel room. I felt it was a sign that I shouldn’t tell him how I feel. My feelings for him should be six feet under, just like my sweet mother.
