Everything but My Heart

Pain was the only feeling I could describe myself to be in; emotional, physical, mental, just all around pain smothered me. There was no one to even talk to since the little spat between Bella and I she wanted nothing to do with me, the boys were out protecting the grounds making sure there were no stragglers from the opposing vampire team. Mr. Black checked in on me several times a day seeing if I needed anything but Carlisle’s daily visit before and after his shift at the hospital tended me just fine.

I blew a breath slowly between my lips and twiddled my thumbs since I literally had nothing better to do. You would think a sixteen nearly seventeen-year-old boy would have some more interesting books than only the automotive genre. My dad had visited a few times, not to see me of course cause clearly he didn’t know of my true existence. I was lonely. The loneliest I’d ever been before in my entire life not even Embry had visited me in the last day with school and then his pack duties.

Carlisle told me my ribs were looking good another week and I would be able to at least sit up decently without wanting to crane myself back down. I was getting ready to die a second time from boredom and yes it really felt possible before I eventually just decided to close my eyes and fall asleep. Now I don’t know if I was always this heavy of a sleeper but you would think a walking oven lying down beside you especially since you’re colder than an iceberg would stir some sort of waking. Or maybe even when an arm was draped over your waist and someone’s chest, a very toned one at that, became your new pillow. I would if I was sane but the bed-ridden ness must have gone to my head.

It wasn’t until the snores directly into my ear canal that made me jolt making the grip tighten. I looked down seeing his hand placed so perfectly over me and I remained as still as possible while trying to sneak a peek at his adorable face. His mouth was slightly agape with a small line of drool forming at the corner of his left side. I held in my chuckle as I re-relaxed myself giving in to the comfort and falling asleep once more hoping he didn’t drool on me.

I didn’t awake the next time until I heard several male voices, “shut up.” Jacob’s hoarse sleep-filled bark made the room silent as several hulking figures slipped ungracefully from the small room. He snuggled back into me taking a few deep breaths before he spoke again, “sorry.”

I furrowed my brow feeling much better and more fully awake, “for?”

”This.” He said squeezing me into his side but making no effort to actually separate us.

“Clearly I haven’t pushed you on the floor so I don’t mind.”

“True, very true.” There was some silence and I had thought he feel asleep again so I stared at the wall. “Bella is getting married.” He didn’t sound sad, or angry he just said it blandly with a lack of emotion.

“I am aware.” I said trying to free myself from his grasp a little since clearly I could see where his mind was going. “Although I doubt it since I highly doubt my dad would allow it.”

We both seemed to contemplate the possibilities as only our breathing filled the room. “Do you like Edward?” I didn’t know how he wanted me to respond so I stayed silent thinking about my options. “Do you?”

“In what context?” I replied softly.

“Oh God you do don’t you?” This is when his arm retracted from me and I felt his body shift to face the other direction our backs together now. Men are such babies. “I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t say you didn’t like him either.” He huffed.

“You’re right I don’t really know very much about him to have a definite opinion. I know he’s nice, caring, helpful, dangerous to be around, has a good support system.” I rambled as I turned on my opposite side. “But all in all I think my sister could do better.”

“Like who?” He half turned meeting my eyes and I melted.

“Emmett.” I said with a cheeky grin before it eventually got him to crack one and resume his position of facing me.

“Seriously.”

“Seriously.”

“Really how old are you?” He laughed again, dear Lord he was beautiful when his face lit up.

“Younger than you.” I teased sticking my tongue out in a truly mature fashion.

“Yeah but you wont be forever.” We both stopped our giggles. “Oh God, Tay, I’m so sorry I didn’t.” It was cute but I put my finger to his lips since it was reality. He removed my hand holding it in his rubbing my back of it with his thumb. I closed my eyes feeling relaxed but obviously not tired as his hand moved to rubbing my entire arm massaging near my shoulders gently. It wasn’t until I felt another set of lips upon mine that I knew what was happening. I thought it was a dream as my head spun, his arms holding me in place as we kissed tenderly as to not hurt me. We ended much to short for my liking after another longer kiss followed by a few shorter ones. “I’m sorry.” He whispered again before he pulled his arms away from me and left the room. His side of the bed losing it’s warmth as I laid there losing my patience.