Status: Slowly Writing...Bare With me.
I Love CupCakes
The Truth Hurts (But its worth it)
Chapter 10 (The real Chapter 10)
The time I spent with my new friends had made me come to realized that, there was more to life than just following a group of people that had no respect for you what so ever. I was new to this group so instantly everyone held on to me, and I loved it, one of the clingers Natasha clung on a little harder than the other, I found it funny to start off with, and then a little irritating, but after a week I got used to it. It felt nice to have friends that could actually bare to touch you, and bother to hug you, I felt normal. Myself and Kaylie were talking again, but things weren’t the same, they were awkward. I couldn’t get her out of my head and it hurt it really hurt, but in a way I was happy it hurt, because it was a constant reminder that I could love someone so much that it hurt me, it was also a reminder that she was there in my life, and that I loved her.
The days were a little easier, I thought about Kaylie less each day, and someday I could manage without crying, even though I wanted to, I could hide it at home, but Rachael saw right threw me at college, and she knew something was still wrong.
“Are you ok?”
“Yea”
“Your not are you?”
“Not really”
“Kaylie?”
“Yes”
“What’s up now?”
“I’m losing her”
“What do you mean?”
“I never talk to her anymore, I don’t have time”
“We to be honest, if you want my honest opinion, she’s just a girl from the internet, that you don’t really know, you can’t love someone you don’t know”
“I think you’re wrong”
“OK” she smiled and got up, I sighed and held my head in my hands before i got up myself and walked back to class. I passed Natasha on the way and she smiled and waved, i smiled back briefly and continued to walk.
Lunch was easier then I thought it would be, Natasha smiled at me again and sat next to me, hugging me as she approached.
“Hey” she muttered
“Hey”
“You ok?”
“Yes, you”
“Good” she pulled her lunch from her bag and sat and ate it silently, my mind pondered on Kaylie...
Friday dawned, and i was bored and slightly hurting from a play punch i had recived from Natasha that day, i could’nt stop thinking about kaylie, and i really wanted to talk to her, but really what would we talk about, i’d say somthing very long and boring and it get a simple one worded answer, liek i always do, it hurt to read her one worded answers cause it showed that she did’nt care much for what i said. Natasha messaged me a few seconds later
Natasha- Hey
You- Hey
Natasha- I wanted to ask you something :/
You- What?
Natasha- I like you a lot, and i wondered if you would go out with me.
I sat shocked looking at the computer and then it came to me, this is what I needed, this could help me forget about Kaylie and move on, Natasha was the way forward, she could help me let go of Kaylie, i didn’t give her a reply, apart from “I’ll think about it” I went to my Skype and changed my Status to “Two girls tugging at my heart” it didn’t take long for Kaylie to notice
Kaylie: Two girls tugging at your heart? :/
You: yea :/
Kaylie: Great, shows how much I'm loved when I need to compete for someone who apparently loves me ever so much.
You : that’s why its two girls tugging, if I didn’t love you then Natasha would have won
Kaylie: Yes and yet I’m still fucking competing. The only fucking person I've been with who didn't exchange me for someone better was James and I dumped him because I had started to like YOU. What a big fucking mistake, turns out it wasn't even worth it.
You: listen Kaylie ,you’re always going on about how this is going to affect you, you have no idea how much this is killing me, if it’s a mistake then fine whatever, its mistake, i loved you i did and nothing can change that. Natasha i think loves me, and I can't help feeling the same way, i know Natasha and I know you, but your untouchable, and that’s what i need, i need someone who i can touch can kiss, I’m not saying it’s your fault, it never was, if anything it was mine. And if James is there James is better then go with James, because i think you need the same as i do someone to hug someone to cry because, in all honesty i don’t think i can get up to Glasgow, i can’t afford it i can barely afford to go to school. i didn’t want it to be like this, and when we broke up to start with i should of said ok, and it’s weird the day i met Natasha was the say you re added me and said you loved me, and now I’m stuck and almost crying, i don’t want to hurt you, nor Natasha nor myself. i know you’re going to be angry and the next thing you will do is shout at me, most likely insult me. So do it but fast and quick. Please.
Kaylie: Well you are hurting me, if you were just gonna hurt me again then why the fuck did we even bother trying again:/
You: either way this goes one of us will get hurt in the end. if i go with Natasha it hurts you, if i go with you it will hurt her, then it will hurt me for hurting you, vice verca
Kaylie: Well if you didn’t want to hurt me then why did you even give me the slightest bit of hope that you would wait for me.
You: Because Natasha wasn’t here and I’d never thought I’d find someone who could love me as much as you could.
Kaylie: Oh so the moment you found someone better it’s just bye bye me then?
You : over the past few days I’ve been feeling that were getting further apart. i say hey and from you it’s just a straight forward Hello, im like oh ok
Kaylie: You haven't been here! You've been getting on at like 10 o clock then getting off like an hour later. What the fuck am I supposed to do in that time? Natasha gets to see you, she gets to hold you. And i bet despite the fact that you say you love me that you'll go for her anyways, cause shes the easy option.
You: i was here 4 hrs solidly on Thursday. What do you want me to do? Say i'm sorry? Say i'll wait again?
Kaylie: NO I WANT YOU TO STOP FUCKING HURTING ME. Stop saying all this shit that you'll wait for me, stop apologising then doing it again. Stop saying oh woah me its gonna hurt me, no its not cause your gonna have someone. I'll have who? Gay mates to say aww you'll find better.
You: You dumped me, you blocked me you left me, you came back to me.
Kaylie: Well fucking great.
You: you have people, you have friends family, and you will have someone love you your hot and sexy and beautiful in every way, for me this doesn’t happen often this is a chance that for me will never happen again I’m not like you, i don’t have a social life i don’t have boy asking me out or girls
Kaylie: Well I may be "hot sexy and beautiful in every way" but every fucking person who says I love you is just fucking bullshitting none of them ever mean it, and if they do then they never bloody try to show it. Gawsh I'm thinking of just grabbing Ricky and saying go out with me because at least i know he genuinely loves me and gives a shit.
You: i tried and i want to show you how much i love you, but to give you that i have to touch you, and do it go to Ricky if you wish it.
Kaylie: I don't WANT to be with Ricky, I'm saying that he's the only guy who has ever said I love you and genuinely meant it because he shows it. He's there for me when I’m sad and when I’m hurt its called my best friend I want to find a Ricky who wants to fucking be with me not there for me.
You: HOW CAN I SHOW IT!!!!!!!! MORE LOVE LETTER I TRY AND CHEER YOU UP I FIND DATES TIMES BUS FARES I SELL MY STUFF SEND YOU STAMPS SEND YOUR FAMILY BIRTHDAY CARDS, The only thing i asked for in return was a letter, and i didn’t even get that.
Kaylie: I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT FUCKING LOVE LETTERS. SHOW IT BY NOT FALLING IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN WITH ANOTHER GIRL. CAUSE THAT SHOWS HOW LITTLE YOUR FUCKING LOVE FOR ME IS. EVEN I KNOW THAT BECAUSE I'VE DONE IT WITH PEOPLE BEFORE, AND I KNEW I DIDN'T LOVE THEM BECAUSE YOU DON'T QUESTION LOVE.
You: but that’s it, you now hate me but yet you still fight. i loved you, but i don’t no i have no clue want i feel for Natasha is almost what i feel for you, but i no... i don’t no what i want
Kaylie: I don't fucking hate you, I love you why else would i bother fighting. >_<.
You: why me...
Kaylie: Because every single thing you do makes me smile, you make me feel like there's no one else that comes close to me, you make me happy, but right nao your snatching it away. :/
You: ;( That’s what i needed to hear before this happened
Kaylie: Better late than never.
You: i don’t know what to do. Kaylie, i don't want you to fight.
Kaylie: Too bad, cause I ain't stopping.
You: If you don’t stop, you will get hurt, Please......Please
Kaylie: Too late for that to be avoided.
-----User Deleted-----
The time I spent with my new friends had made me come to realized that, there was more to life than just following a group of people that had no respect for you what so ever. I was new to this group so instantly everyone held on to me, and I loved it, one of the clingers Natasha clung on a little harder than the other, I found it funny to start off with, and then a little irritating, but after a week I got used to it. It felt nice to have friends that could actually bare to touch you, and bother to hug you, I felt normal. Myself and Kaylie were talking again, but things weren’t the same, they were awkward. I couldn’t get her out of my head and it hurt it really hurt, but in a way I was happy it hurt, because it was a constant reminder that I could love someone so much that it hurt me, it was also a reminder that she was there in my life, and that I loved her.
The days were a little easier, I thought about Kaylie less each day, and someday I could manage without crying, even though I wanted to, I could hide it at home, but Rachael saw right threw me at college, and she knew something was still wrong.
“Are you ok?”
“Yea”
“Your not are you?”
“Not really”
“Kaylie?”
“Yes”
“What’s up now?”
“I’m losing her”
“What do you mean?”
“I never talk to her anymore, I don’t have time”
“We to be honest, if you want my honest opinion, she’s just a girl from the internet, that you don’t really know, you can’t love someone you don’t know”
“I think you’re wrong”
“OK” she smiled and got up, I sighed and held my head in my hands before i got up myself and walked back to class. I passed Natasha on the way and she smiled and waved, i smiled back briefly and continued to walk.
Lunch was easier then I thought it would be, Natasha smiled at me again and sat next to me, hugging me as she approached.
“Hey” she muttered
“Hey”
“You ok?”
“Yes, you”
“Good” she pulled her lunch from her bag and sat and ate it silently, my mind pondered on Kaylie...
Friday dawned, and i was bored and slightly hurting from a play punch i had recived from Natasha that day, i could’nt stop thinking about kaylie, and i really wanted to talk to her, but really what would we talk about, i’d say somthing very long and boring and it get a simple one worded answer, liek i always do, it hurt to read her one worded answers cause it showed that she did’nt care much for what i said. Natasha messaged me a few seconds later
Natasha- Hey
You- Hey
Natasha- I wanted to ask you something :/
You- What?
Natasha- I like you a lot, and i wondered if you would go out with me.
I sat shocked looking at the computer and then it came to me, this is what I needed, this could help me forget about Kaylie and move on, Natasha was the way forward, she could help me let go of Kaylie, i didn’t give her a reply, apart from “I’ll think about it” I went to my Skype and changed my Status to “Two girls tugging at my heart” it didn’t take long for Kaylie to notice
Kaylie: Two girls tugging at your heart? :/
You: yea :/
Kaylie: Great, shows how much I'm loved when I need to compete for someone who apparently loves me ever so much.
You : that’s why its two girls tugging, if I didn’t love you then Natasha would have won
Kaylie: Yes and yet I’m still fucking competing. The only fucking person I've been with who didn't exchange me for someone better was James and I dumped him because I had started to like YOU. What a big fucking mistake, turns out it wasn't even worth it.
You: listen Kaylie ,you’re always going on about how this is going to affect you, you have no idea how much this is killing me, if it’s a mistake then fine whatever, its mistake, i loved you i did and nothing can change that. Natasha i think loves me, and I can't help feeling the same way, i know Natasha and I know you, but your untouchable, and that’s what i need, i need someone who i can touch can kiss, I’m not saying it’s your fault, it never was, if anything it was mine. And if James is there James is better then go with James, because i think you need the same as i do someone to hug someone to cry because, in all honesty i don’t think i can get up to Glasgow, i can’t afford it i can barely afford to go to school. i didn’t want it to be like this, and when we broke up to start with i should of said ok, and it’s weird the day i met Natasha was the say you re added me and said you loved me, and now I’m stuck and almost crying, i don’t want to hurt you, nor Natasha nor myself. i know you’re going to be angry and the next thing you will do is shout at me, most likely insult me. So do it but fast and quick. Please.
Kaylie: Well you are hurting me, if you were just gonna hurt me again then why the fuck did we even bother trying again:/
You: either way this goes one of us will get hurt in the end. if i go with Natasha it hurts you, if i go with you it will hurt her, then it will hurt me for hurting you, vice verca
Kaylie: Well if you didn’t want to hurt me then why did you even give me the slightest bit of hope that you would wait for me.
You: Because Natasha wasn’t here and I’d never thought I’d find someone who could love me as much as you could.
Kaylie: Oh so the moment you found someone better it’s just bye bye me then?
You : over the past few days I’ve been feeling that were getting further apart. i say hey and from you it’s just a straight forward Hello, im like oh ok
Kaylie: You haven't been here! You've been getting on at like 10 o clock then getting off like an hour later. What the fuck am I supposed to do in that time? Natasha gets to see you, she gets to hold you. And i bet despite the fact that you say you love me that you'll go for her anyways, cause shes the easy option.
You: i was here 4 hrs solidly on Thursday. What do you want me to do? Say i'm sorry? Say i'll wait again?
Kaylie: NO I WANT YOU TO STOP FUCKING HURTING ME. Stop saying all this shit that you'll wait for me, stop apologising then doing it again. Stop saying oh woah me its gonna hurt me, no its not cause your gonna have someone. I'll have who? Gay mates to say aww you'll find better.
You: You dumped me, you blocked me you left me, you came back to me.
Kaylie: Well fucking great.
You: you have people, you have friends family, and you will have someone love you your hot and sexy and beautiful in every way, for me this doesn’t happen often this is a chance that for me will never happen again I’m not like you, i don’t have a social life i don’t have boy asking me out or girls
Kaylie: Well I may be "hot sexy and beautiful in every way" but every fucking person who says I love you is just fucking bullshitting none of them ever mean it, and if they do then they never bloody try to show it. Gawsh I'm thinking of just grabbing Ricky and saying go out with me because at least i know he genuinely loves me and gives a shit.
You: i tried and i want to show you how much i love you, but to give you that i have to touch you, and do it go to Ricky if you wish it.
Kaylie: I don't WANT to be with Ricky, I'm saying that he's the only guy who has ever said I love you and genuinely meant it because he shows it. He's there for me when I’m sad and when I’m hurt its called my best friend I want to find a Ricky who wants to fucking be with me not there for me.
You: HOW CAN I SHOW IT!!!!!!!! MORE LOVE LETTER I TRY AND CHEER YOU UP I FIND DATES TIMES BUS FARES I SELL MY STUFF SEND YOU STAMPS SEND YOUR FAMILY BIRTHDAY CARDS, The only thing i asked for in return was a letter, and i didn’t even get that.
Kaylie: I DONT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT FUCKING LOVE LETTERS. SHOW IT BY NOT FALLING IN LOVE ALL OVER AGAIN WITH ANOTHER GIRL. CAUSE THAT SHOWS HOW LITTLE YOUR FUCKING LOVE FOR ME IS. EVEN I KNOW THAT BECAUSE I'VE DONE IT WITH PEOPLE BEFORE, AND I KNEW I DIDN'T LOVE THEM BECAUSE YOU DON'T QUESTION LOVE.
You: but that’s it, you now hate me but yet you still fight. i loved you, but i don’t no i have no clue want i feel for Natasha is almost what i feel for you, but i no... i don’t no what i want
Kaylie: I don't fucking hate you, I love you why else would i bother fighting. >_<.
You: why me...
Kaylie: Because every single thing you do makes me smile, you make me feel like there's no one else that comes close to me, you make me happy, but right nao your snatching it away. :/
You: ;( That’s what i needed to hear before this happened
Kaylie: Better late than never.
You: i don’t know what to do. Kaylie, i don't want you to fight.
Kaylie: Too bad, cause I ain't stopping.
You: If you don’t stop, you will get hurt, Please......Please
Kaylie: Too late for that to be avoided.
-----User Deleted-----
♠ ♠ ♠
Sorry for the gap and wait, it was hard to write this one :/