Scars

Looking over her outfit in the full length mirror in the corner of her bedroom, Tonya turned with a unsatisfied shake of her head and removed the top she was wearing, throwing it on top of the pile of other tops and pants that she had already tried on and discarded to her bed.
She then made her way back over to her closet, sifting through the other tops on the rail, pulling out a plain white blouse and holding it against her body as she walked back over to take a look in the mirror. She sighed, scrunching up her nose.

“Maybe if I change the pants?” she muttered to herself discarding the blouse with the others before taking off her pants and pulling out another pair from her drawer. She put them on and did them up, walking over to the mirror once more to take a look at herself.

“Nope.” She muttered with another sigh, undoing them as she made her way back over to get another pair out.

In the fifteen minutes that followed, Tonya had emptied her drawer of jeans and still wasn’t happy. Feeling her heart rate quicken and her palms becoming sweaty, she rummaged under the pile of discarded clothes to find her cell phone, pacing the bedroom as she dialled Estelle’s number and waited for her to answer.

“I can’t do this.” she blurted out, chewing nervously on her finger nail.

“Can’t do what?” she asked confused.

“This, coffee with Brian. I haven’t got anything to wear for a start. And then there’s how beautiful he is, why would he seriously be interested in me? And what-“

“Whoa! Stop right there woman! You can do this; you’ve got plenty of things that you can wear and don’t you dare start giving me any of that shit about him being too pretty for you because that’s utter bullocks. You could have any guy you want.” Stella yelled before Tonya could continue with her ramble.

“But…” Tonya stuttered.

“But nothing. Sweetie, it’s only coffee.“ she told her calmly.

“But I haven’t been on a date in over fifteen years.” She said quietly, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

“Awe, Hun, you’ll be fine. Brian is a nice guy, you have nothing to worry about.” She told her friend. “Now are you okay or do I have to come over there and kick your ass and find you something to wear?”

Tonya sighed, allowing a small smile to appear on her lips. “I’m sure I can find something to wear. I still have one problem though.”

“What?” Stella asked.

“I still haven’t told Jake where I’m going.” She confessed.

“Just be straight with him, it’s only coffee.” She said.

Taking another deep breath, Tonya nodded, “Okay, thanks Hun, I better go get ready.”

“Good, and don’t forget to call me later with the details.” Stella replied cheerfully.

“Of course, bye.” She replied before hanging up.

Turning to the pile of clothes on her bed, Tonya grabbed a pair of jeans and put them on before grabbing a deep red top and pulling it on over her head.

“Now, shoes.” She muttered to herself, walking back over to her closet and scanning the row of shoes, her eyes falling on a pair of black and red open-toe pumps.

After completing her outfit with her red heart necklace and her Nightmare Before Christmas studded belt, she sat down at her dressing table to apply her make up. As she applied a thin layer of lip gloss she heard the sound of footsteps coming up the stairs.

“Having a clearout mom?” Jake asked as he stepped into the doorway.

“Um, no, just couldn’t figure out what to wear.” She said with a small smile.

“Where you going?” he asked.

“Well, um, I’m actually going out for coffee.” She said nervously.

“Coffee?” he repeated looking slightly confused.

“Yeah, with um, with Brian.” she said quietly.

“Brian? From jujitsu?” he asked getting more confused.

“Um, yeah, he works with Johnny too now and um well are you okay with that?” she asked.

“Um, I…I guess.” He replied with a shrug of his shoulders.

“Okay, um, I shouldn’t be too long, and we’ll have pizza when I get back okay?” she said as she placed her keys and phone into her purse.

“Okay, cool.” He said as he walked back out into the corridor, his mom following.

“See ya later okay kiddo.” She replied with a smile as he wandered off to his room.

Realising she had arrived five minutes early, Tonya indicated to pull back out into the traffic. She drove a little further down PCH before turning down one of the side streets, slowly driving around the one way systems until she found herself back outside the same little coffee house again. Shutting off the engine, she checked her makeup in the rear view mirror, running her tongue over her dry lips before taking a deep breath, slowly pulling the keys out of the ignition and stepping out of the car.

“Hey, perfect timing.” Tonya jumped slightly at the sound of Brian’s voice, turning she found him walking towards her, a smile on his face, his eyes once again covered by sunglasses.

“Hey.” she replied shyly.

“Shall we?” he replied gesturing towards the coffee house. She nodded failing to hold back the smile as she followed him into the small store.

“Do you want to stay here? It’s just that I was thinking it’s such a nice day we could take a walk along the beach.” he said with a smile.

“Um, yeah sure that’ll be nice.” She replied as they reached the front of the queue.

“What can I get you?” the waitress asked, her eyes fixed on Brian.

“Um, I’ll just have a regular coffee, and Tonya?”

“Um, a latte please.” She said with a smile.

“Both to take out thanks.” Brian added politely.

They both stood in silence as they waited for their coffees, both only muttering a word of thanks to the waitress as she handed them to them.

They walked across the street, Tonya removing her shoes before stepping onto the sand.

“Sorry, I didn’t think about the shoes you were wearing, are you going to be okay walking barefoot?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, should have worn something a little more sensible really.” She said with a small laugh.

“Here, let me carry them.” He said reaching for them.

“Oh no, there’s no…” she protested as he took them from her.

“I insist.” He said.

“Thank you.” she said blushing.

They walked down towards the water’s edge before walking along the damp sand sipping their coffee.

“So, jujitsu huh?” she said taking a sip of her coffee.

“Yeah, it’s something I had a go at when I was travelling and when I got back my mate, Dan who runs the club, got me to join, I’ve been really enjoying it, it’s a great work out.” he explained. “How did Jake get into it?”

Tonya blushed slightly at the mention of her son. “Well, um, his father always enjoyed martial arts and stuff like that and he came up to me about six months ago asking if he could give it a try, been going ever since. He loves it, and from what I can understand, he’s really good at it.”

“He is, he’s got a really good chance of winning the competition in a couple of weeks.” he said. They walked in silence for a short while before Brian cleared his throat, lifting his cup to his lips before speaking.

“Um, do you mind me asking about Jake’s father?” he said nervously.

“No, I guessed it would be a subject that would come up sooner or later.” She said with a smile. “His name was Luke, we were childhood sweethearts. We had Jake when we were only seventeen and married straight after graduation. He joined the army and when Jake was only nine he got deployed to Iraq. He never came back.”

“Oh Tonya, I’m sorry, I, I had no idea.” Brian replied softly.

“You weren’t to know.” she said quietly, her eyes meeting his. He smiled softly as silence fell over them once again.

They walked a little further down the beach, both of them taking long sips of their coffees. Several times, they both opened their mouths to talk, words failing them.

“Do you fancy an ice cream?” Tonya said suddenly as she spotted the small kiosk a little further up the beach. Brian stopped to look at her, a small chuckle escaping his lips as he nodded.

“What flavour?” she asked as they reached the kiosk.

“Vanilla.” He said, a small smile appearing on Tonya’s lips as she turned to ask for two small tubs of vanilla ice cream.

“What?” he asked noticing the look she gave him.

“Nothing, that was his favourite too.” she said quietly as she took money out of her purse.

“Let me get these.” He said reaching into his pocket for his wallet.

“No, you got the coffees these are my treat.” She told him passing him his tub and the small plastic spoon.

“Thank you.” he said.

“I’m sorry if I’ve been too quite, I not usually like this.” Tonya said as they sat down on the bench to eat their ice creams.

“It’s okay, I haven’t been overly talkative neither, which is not like me.” he replied.

“Yanno it took me two hours to choose something to wear. I was so nervous.” She admitted quietly.

“Really? Why were you nervous?” he asked.

“Firstly because this is the first date I’ve been on since Luke took me out,” she began.

“This is a date then?” he asked with a smile.

“Well, um, yeah I guess so.” She replied with a blush creeping across her cheeks.

“That’s okay then. So what was the other thing that made you nervous?” he asked taking her empty tub and placing it into the trash can next to them.

“Jake. I wasn’t sure of how he’d react to me going on a date.” She explained.

“Was he okay?” he asked as they stood up again and started their way back along the beach.

“He seemed to be, but I guess we’ll see how it goes. How about you? Were you nervous?” she asked.

“Honestly, yeah.” He told her. “I mean, I’ve already had warnings off Jimmy, Johnny and even JB.”

“Johnny’s always been protective over me, despite being four years younger.” She replied with a giggle.

“Yeah, he’s threatened to rip off certain pieces of my anatomy if I hurt you.” he chuckled. “Can I tell you something else?”

“What?” Tonya asked curiously looking up to him.

“Promise not to laugh?” he asked, Tonya nodded. “Okay, well I actually got to the coffee house early and when I saw you weren’t there yet I carried on walking, I didn’t want to go in on my own just in case you didn’t show up.”

“Seriously?” she asked looking up at him and seeing him nod his head. “I did the same. I was early so I drove around the block.”

Brian laughed, throwing his head back slightly. “Well I’m glad I’m not the only one.” He teased.

They continued to talk freely as they walked back towards the coffee house, Brian allowing her to steady herself against him as she put her pumps back on once they were on the sidewalk.

He walked her over to her car, Tonya turning to face him before she let herself in. “I um, I’ve had a really nice time.” She said shyly as she looked up at his covered eyes.

“Me too, can we do it again sometime?” he replied.

She nodded, subconsciously licking her suddenly dry lips as she saw him do the same as he moved his head closer to hers. his lips pressed softly against hers for a brief moment before he pulled away. “Call me okay?” he murmured.

She nodded in reply, watching him for a brief moment as he walked away before she got into her car, a large smile on her face as she took out her cell.

“Hey buddy, I’m just about to make my way home, you want me to pick up pizza?” she asked as Jake answered.

“Um, no, I’m having dinner at Gavin’s if that’s okay?” he replied.

“Oh, okay, that’s fine. Back by eleven though yeah.” She replied.

“Yeah.” He replied shortly before ending the call.

Tonya stared at her phone for a brief moment in confusion before typing out a message.

“Jake’s at Gavin’s, want pizza?” she sent to Stella.

“I’ll bring the wine.” She replied as Tonya started the engine.