I'm Feeling Things Are About to Change

I paced back and forth in my bathroom, waiting for the seconds to tick by faster. I kept watching the clock on my phone, willing the time move. But every little blink drove me closer and closer to losing it and throwing my phone out the window. The world hates me today!

Luke wasn’t here. He’s off riding. Since it rained a few days ago, it was nice for working on his jumps. He asked me to come with him, but I told him I didn’t feel well and stayed home. I knew he wanted to ask questions, but he didn’t.I wish he would have!

Kirstie and Josh were… Kirstie and Josh. I wasn’t going to bother them today. I had a test that I desperately needed to take… a pregnancy test. Yes! I know! Why weren’t Luke and I more responsible? I was hoping this was negative. I didn’t even want to think about having kids until I was married. Obviously, I don’t have a rock on my finger!

Ok… I need to breathe. Just keep breathing… just keep breathing… just keep breathing! The alarm on my phone went off, scaring me half to death. That breathing thing? Not working! Especially when I looked down at the stupid white plastic thing… it said I was… pregnant.

I broke down. I slid down to the floor with my hands covering my eyes, trying so hard to suck in air and sob like I was at the same time. I wanted Luke here, holding me and telling me that everything was going to be alright. Oh, god… Luke… What’s he going to say? We haven’t even talked about having kids… let alone marriage. I’m just digging more and more of a hole!

As I sat on the bathroom floor, I was able to reach up for my phone. While keeping an arm around my knees, I dialed Luke’s number, hoping he wasn’t on his bike right now and he would answer… and he didn’t. It went right to voice mail. This made me so mad. I threw my phone against the tub, making it crack. Peachy! What else could go wrong today?

I sat in there for about fifteen more minutes before I heard his car pull up. Hearing this made me cry hard all over again. Seconds later I heard his voice calling out for me. I didn’t bother calling back. My car’s here. He’s knows I’m here somewhere.

“Ky,” he said softly while knocking on the door.

I couldn’t find my voice. The only thing that came out was sobs. This made him turn the doorknob quickly and rush in. He took one look at me and dropped down to the floor, pulling me against him tightly.

“I’m sorry,” I pushed out with my tears flowing steadily down my cheeks and onto his shoulder.

“For what, baby?” he asked calmly, stroking my hair.

“I’m sorry,” I said again.

“Kylee, whatever it is, we’ll get through it. I love you so much. Nothing you tell me is going to change that,” he said in the same tone as before. It calmed me some, but my tears were still there.

“Luke, I’m… we’re… um…” I tried to get out, but my voice was stuck in my throat.

“What, baby?” he asked softly, wiping my tears away with his thumb.

“I’m pregnant,” I said, trying so hard to make sure he could hear it.

Silence filled the room. My crying had even stopped. It was as if my breathing had stopped… and so had time. Luke kept his eyes locked on mine though. I guess this was… ok. I wish he would had said something, but…

“Wow,” he said, making me feel so good about this.

“Luke, that doesn’t make me feel better,” I truthfully blurted out.

But he smiled. That smiled… it made me melt… it in a good way. It made my own smile shine through my tears.

“This isn’t bad… maybe a little backwards, but… it could be worse,” he told me while pushing my hair out of my face.

“But I wanted to be married before I had kids. I went around telling everyone it was going to be that way and now…” I trailed off, feeling tears build up again.

“Is that why you’re this upset?” he almost cooed. I just nodded my head and nuzzled my nose into the crook of his neck. “I’ve been thinking about asking you,” he went on while rubbing my back.

“Luke, I don’t want you to feel like you have to marry me because I’m… pregnant,” I replied, the word sounding so… wrong to me in this sense.

“But I love you,” he smiled. “And I’m going to be here for you… through everything,” he went on, his smile growing with every word.

“I didn’t expect you to be so accepting of this,” I couldn’t help but say as I clung to him tighter.

“It was bound to happen someday. Why not be in nine months?” he said, having an amazing attitude right now. I couldn’t ask for anything better.

“I love you, Luke,” I said, smiling as I looked up into his gorgeous eyes.

“I love you too, baby… and I always will,” he said before kissing my forehead gently.

I smiled and rested my head on his shoulder. I couldn’t have asked for a better response from him. This man’s amazing. I love my little Aussie… and my littler Aussie that’s going to be arriving soon.