Fatal Attractions

Days had passed since I had been taken.

It was always dark.

That horrible man would hurt me.

Over and over again.

He would tell me I was special. That he had to hurt me. Said it would make me strong. And all I could do was cry. I begged him to stop. But he never did. It felt like years before I had finally seen sunlight again.

I was always so scared when he would come into my room. And when Alistar would come with him, it was even worse. The torture was nothing compared to what they did to me mentally. I was naive back then. I was foolish.

By the time they had found me, I was way passed getting help. I had been torn up inside and out. Dean was the first one I had saw. He looked so shocked and scared. Like a child should have looked. Dean had knew really liked me, but after that he was different to me. Kinder. More protective.

John was the second one i saw. He didn't seem to care for my well-being at all. He looked more interested in find Azazel. He didn't even stop to see if I was still alive. I think it was at that moment that i realized I was just a tool.

Daddy was the last one I saw. The look on his face was something i had never seen before. It wasn't shock. Or fright. It wasn't happiness or sorrow. It was anger. Terrifying, gut retching anger. I remember being afraid of him for the first time in my life.

Dean was the first one who ran to me. I remember him shaking me. Begging me to get up. But I couldn't Azazel had broken me. I didn't have the will for anything. Dean had had to carrying my on his back. He swore at his father. Blamed him for everything.

John didn't even care. He kept searching for Azazel. It was horrible when they had finally found him. He had been waiting. He knew they were all here. I remember Dean trying to just leave. To take me back to whatever motel they had been staying at.

But Daddy and John didn't want to leave. They both wanted vengeance. They wanted him to pay for what he had done to our mothers. Dean had begged them to just leave. He cried to his father and mine.

Neither of them listened. And thanks to John, Daddy died.--

I shook my head as the tears slowly slid down my cheeks. I closed my journal and shook my head. I hated always having time to think. I always went back to the time Azazel had first took me. When John had used me as bait. When my dad had died.

I gently wiped away the tears as I felt his presence. I didn't know why but I just knew it was him. I felt him gently place his hand on my shoulder. I chuckled as I turned around. It was cute how he didn't know what to do when he saw me like this.

"Hey, Cas." I mumbled, looking into his peaceful eyes.

"Hello, Ellie.

"What are you doing here?"

"I heard you crying. I had to come see if you were alright." Castiel said, caressing my cheek.

I shook my head. "I'm fine. I was just taking a trip down memory lane."

"Is this about your father?"

"How did you know?" I asked, surprised.

"I've been watching you. Most of the time, it's when you're asleep. You cry for your father." He said, not seeming the least bit fazed.

"You watch me?"

"Yes."

I sighed, as I shook my head. I felt flattered and annoyed at the same time. I thought angels were supposed to be super busy. Why the heck would he just sit and watch me sleep? Castiel watched me as I sat on the couch. I patted the seat beside me and he sat.

"It's been 16 years today since he died." I mumbled.

"You were kidnap, correct?"

"Yeah. By Azazel. It was honestly the worst three months of my life."

Castiel nodded. "If it's any consolation, your father is happy. He looks over you."

"My dad's in heaven?" I really was surprised.

"Yes. Why are you surprised?"

"Well, the life we live isn't exactly God approved." I mumbled, as i got up to grab a beer.

Castiel stayed silent as I took a swig. I looked at the clock on the wall. It was getting late and the boys hadn't even called me. I knew they were fine. I could just feel it. It just irritated me that they couldn't at least let me know they were fine.

I walked over to Castiel and sat back down.I laid my head in his lap and sighed. Castiel looked so uncomfortable, like he had no idea what he should do. I chuckled as I shook my head.

"What's so funny?" Castiel asked.

"Cas, you don't have to be so tense. Relax, I don't bite."

"I'm aware. It's just new for me. I don't normally interact with humans."

"So why with me? Are you in love?" I joked.

"I doubt that. Angels do not have feelings." Castiel said.

"Oh, bummer. I think you would make a god husband to someone one day." I said, as I turned over.

For hours we stayed like that. I just laid there resting my head on his lap. Sometimes I would ask him something and he would answer. But mostly, it was just us there in silence. I didn't feel hopeless or scared. When Castiel was around, it was like he brought a piece of heaven with him.

After a while, I fell to sleep. My dreams were peaceful. I was in an open meadow. I had been there with my dad. We were having a picnic, just laughing and talking like we normally would.

It was probably one of the best dreams I had ever had.