Taion

I can’t remember much after that; my mind was processing all the things I needed to get away. Alex tried apologizing. I flipped him off and hid in my bunk. Jack tried talking to me, but then Hey Monday showed up and he was talking to Mike. Rian, of course, with Cassadee. The Zack showed up. I was curious of him; he was so quiet and I never expected him to throw a ten pound weight at me, but Christine once told me to expect the unexpected. I’m sure that’s a written, published quote somewhere –Christine often took other people’s credit when it came to awesome quotes.

“Catch.” The weight, in my opinion, was heavy enough to annoy me, but not enough that I couldn’t lift. “C’mon.” Zack turns to leave. I blink, but do as he tells me. We walk through the others that are gathered in the lounge, but I focus of my Converses. The really expensive ones Alex got for me about eight months ago. They’re pretty trashed; they barely survived Warped as it is. Everyone seems to get quiet as we pass through, and then….

“Hey cutie.” Cassadee winks at me, smiles.

Alex smiles slightly, obviously still annoyed with me. “Don’t talk to that wanker. He’s an idiot.”

It feels as if he just poured salt into the former wound, but I just nod, blink, and walk out behind Zack. Once again, escape is on my mind: this birdie was getting away. …That just reminded me of Emma. FML. She’ll be devastated when she finds out I’m gone. Mona will be pissed, no doubt, at Alex. Both are still temporarly staying at Jack’s parents: Emma attending the local elementary school, Mona going through the procedure of getting hired in Baltimore’s DSS office.

“Why are you so zoned out?”

“Huh?” I look up. Zack’s benching one hundred and fifty. His eyes flick over to me and he lifts the weights again. I’ll admit. He has nice abs and a well defined chest. I gasp softly and look away. Mental face palm. Did I…just…check out Zack? I can see out of the corner of my eye: he’s looking at me strangly. I blush, saying to myself. “Idiot.”

“What was that?” Zack blinks, his voice laced with concentration.

“Oh…nothing. I just…forgot to…turn off my lamp in the bunk.” I look away, focus on something more interesting. An ant in crawling along the dry ground. Where were we again? I’m not sure. Destination wasn’t one of my main priorities when Alex forced me away from my friends and on to this random forsaken tour. I kick a rock and the ant scurries out of the way. Huh. It’s smarted than me. “What’d you want me for?”

“To talk. What? I can’t talk to you anymore?” He grunts as he lifts the weight again, then lets the silver bar hover about his naked chest before raising it again. “I know you were just upset when you said you hated us.”

I say nothing and sit down. I can feel his gaze on me and I want to take of my jacket –it’s blazing here –but something about doing it in front of him, in front of Zack, makes me hesitate; I leave it on.

“Aren’t you hot?”

“No.” Lie. I try ripping dry, deadened grass up from a small clump. Despite it’s color, it holds well to the earth. I strain tearing it, and in my defeat, break off a piece and start drawing in the dirt with it.

“You’re zoned out.” Grunt. Lift. Drop. Strain. Lift again. Drop. Place the weights on the ground. Stand up from your spot on the picnic table. It’s damp now. With your sweat. That doesn’t bother me. I go back to tracing in the dirt.

“So?”

“You only zone out when you’re planning. What? I don’t know. Just don’t do anything stupid, yeah?” And you, Zack, you leave. Mumble shower and go back inside. When you’re gone, I can take off my jacket without feeling self conscious. When you’re gone, I can look down in the dirt and review over my plans. The words 11 PM, WATER, CLOTHES, and FOOD are clearly visible. Zack, my plan was right in front of you –you just didn’t look in the dirt to see.