The Secret Website

I was walking back to my house and my feet knowing the streets by heart allowed my mind to work furiously.

Was it physical attraction? Was it something else? If so, what was it?

Right that moment a car pulled up next to me.

“Need a lift home?”

Hearing that voice made my heart jump, and a huge stupid smile appeared on my face.

“Hi Tre! Yeah, thanks!” I said, and got in his SUV.

For a minute or so the journey was silent, when I suddenly realized that we weren’t even moving yet. I was too thoughtful to notice.

“What are you thinking of?” he asked, stretching his hand to touch my cheek.

“Uh? No, it’s nothing…” I didn’t sound too convincing. I may as well talk.

“I’ve been to…”

“Mike’s, yes, I thought so. What did you talk about?”

I tried to make my brain work super faster than usual, but nothing really worked. I just wanted to go home.

“Can we, please, not talk about this? I just wanna go home…” I looked down. He took my hand and gave it a light squeeze to make me look at him. I did and saw him smiling.

“It’s alright Bill.” He leaned in and pecked me on the lips. “I love you.” He said.

That’s all it took for me to break down. Amazing how you can take everything in and three simple words can take it all back out. I cried and cried and cried again in his arms.

“I love you, too, Tre, more than you’ll ever imagine. I’ll always love you, no matter what. You’re my reason of life, I can’t even breath or talk or eat or anything without you in my life, Tre. You’re my world. You’er my Earth and I’m the moon. Or better, you’re the sun, the beautiful sun and I’m the Earth, living of your light.”

“What about dear old moon?” he said with shaky voice and watery eyes.

Then it struck me, right then. The moon

“The moon.” I repeated out loud. Tre noticed the change in my mood.

“What’s up, Billie?” he asked, concerned. I answered straight away.

“Tre, you’re my sun, I’m the Earth, but there’s still the Moon. What happens when the Moon appears in the sky before the Sun sets and night falls? Sun and Moon survive in the same sky before the Moon takes over and shines bright in the dark.”

Tre just looked at me, astounded. I went on.

“And what happens during an eclipse? The Moon covers the Sun, taking its place for a short amount of time.”

“Is this what is meant to happen?” he whispered. I looked at him before answering.

“It just can’t be…” I took his hands in mine and stared deep into his eyes.

“Life on Earth wouldn’t survive without the sun.” I said and he smiled lightly, but quickly replied.

“Night will fall again. And what is the meaning of night without the Moon to lighten up the darkness?” he asked sadly. I looked away.

“Maybe that’s what my life is like, darkness.” I said, most to myself that to Tre.

“It would be total darkness if it wasn’t for the Sun, bringing life. And the Moon lightens everything up when the Sun can’t do it. But the Earth will always be reminded of the sun, while looking at the Moon, ‘cause after all, the Moon shines by reflecting sunlight.”

Silence fell. I froze when my Sun let go of my hands.

“Billie, who’s the moon?” he asked cautiously. I knew he knew the answer, deep down, but he probably didn’t want it confirmed. I didn’t dare to look at him.

“Billie, look at me.” I did as I was told and saw a tear rolling down onto his cheek. I tried to wipe it away, but he jerked his head away.

“Who’s the Moon?” he repeated.

After looking at him for a last time I whispered the answer.

“Mike.”

Silence and tension filled the car we were still in, as I was waiting for him to break the silence.

Eventually he talked, but he didn’t say what I was expecting. He turned to face the front of the car and grabbed the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles turned white.

“Get down.” He whispered he was trying to hold back whatever it was that was struggling to get out. A poor attempt, in my opinion, but right now, I was more worried about what he’d just told me.

“Excuse me?” I asked. He’s got to be kidding me, I thought.

“You heard me, get down, now.” I looked at him, stunned. His voice was forcibly calm, I must admit he was kind of scary.

“Now!” I jumped but didn’t move.

“Please.” He added, more calmly again.

I knew he wanted to be left alone, so I didn’t bother to ask why and just got out of the car, back on the street.

I watched him driving away, with a mixed sense of sadness and confusion.

This conversation has complicated things a hell of a lot, I thought.

Damn me and my philosopher’s speeches.