The Story Left Untold

The tension was only getting worse as the seconds ticked by. I couldn’t handle the pressure so I did what was best for everyone. I jumped in and pushed Trevor away from the scene.

“Give us a sec, will you?” I asked Jack semi-nicely as I pulled Trevor farther away from where we set up our belongings.

As soon as we were far away, I sighed and looked up into Trevor’s eyes with so much misery. He seemed really heated up and the temperature wasn’t helping us at all.

“You really shouldn’t get all worked up about this,” I told him placing a hand on his chest.

He held me close and didn’t say anything more. When we parted I observed his expression and he seemed calmer now. I gave him a small smile before connecting our lips. He seemed even happier after I kissed him.

I looked back and saw that the guys were still there staring right back at us. I didn’t get a clear view of their faces so I couldn’t tell what they were thinking. I saw Rian start to turn away but Jack held him in place. They formed a circle and planned something. I didn’t really want anything to do with them today so I turned back and faced Trevor who was looking at the water.

“I’m gonna go for a swim,” he said. “Wanna come with?”

“I’ll be there in a sec,” I told him with a smile. “Just go on ahead,”

He left without question and rushed to the water. I exhaled heavily before turning on my heel. I didn’t understand why they were still there just waiting for me instead having their fun but it was sort of flattering. Not that I cared.

“Why are you guys still here?” I asked in an irritated tone.

“This isn’t your beach, you know,” Jack mentioned making my temper rise.

“What I meant was: why are you still in our spot?” I replied in a snarky tone.

“Oh, give up the act already. The guy’s sorry for Christ’s sake. Why can’t you just accept that?” Alex exclaimed exasperatedly.

“Yeah? Well you’re one to talk,” I said, “and it’s not an act. I live in New York now and I’m leading a new life. I don’t want you guys to destroy my chance of starting again.”

“Oh please you miss us just as much as we miss you,” Rian said trying to keep the mood light but I was far away from smiling at this moment.

My eye twitched in so much anger that it scared Rian. “You see that’s where you’re wrong. I don’t want anything to do with any of you and I’m sorry if that sounded really bitchy of me but if I stay in contact with one of you, I’ll never be able to move on,” I sighed and looked around.

“Guys, can you leave us for a sec?” Jack asked nicely. He seemed really hurt by what I said.

“Didn’t I already say that I wanted nothing to do with you?” I said crossing my arms over my chest.

“Look, I can’t change your mind about me and I can’t force you to be with me because I can see it in your eyes that you’re clearly not interested but don’t take it out on them. They did nothing to you – well, except Alex – but don’t you think it’s about time you start forgiving him?” Jack begged.

“Jack, I really don’t want to deal with any of this,” I whispered as I looked at the sand on the ground.

“Well, you have to. I don’t care if we don’t end up together but all I want is for all this drama to be cleared up and for us to be friends again. I really don’t want to have to leave here feeling the same way I’ve felt this past year,” he said with a poignant tone in his voice.

“Are you sure that’s all you want?” I asked even though I knew exactly that what he negotiated wouldn’t satisfy him whole.

“Yes,” he confirmed half-heartedly.

I let go of my bitter feelings knowing it would be useless to keep a big grudge over them. I showed Jack a small smile. “Okay,” I said extending my hand for him to shake. He took it and I saw a spark of hope in his eyes. It was heartbreaking to see the boy all down and out and I feel sorry for the guys for having to deal with him in this state for a year or so.

I pulled Jack and wrapped my arms around him and whispered an apology before pulling away. He was surprised that I actually hugged him. I smirked before making my way over to the guys who were seated in a spot in the sand. They stood up as they saw me approach and I smiled at them.

“Okay, I’m sorry for what I said and I can’t stand being mad at you schmucks so I’m calling a peace treaty in the form of a hug,” I said and heard bits of laughter escape their lips. At least they’re not really angry at me.

First I hugged Zack. His strong arms found their way around my body and took in the moment. Out of the two other guys, I think I missed Zack the most. I’ve never had the same kind of connection with anyone else. That connection was what made our relationship unique and when we didn’t see each other or hear from each other for a long period of time, I came to realize that life didn’t feel the same. I mean there was no spark that said I was alive and ready to face a new day. And if it’s not surprising enough, we managed to keep it friendly. Zack almost slipped up though but nothing ever really happened. At least that’s what I thought.

“I’ve missed you,” he told me and I smiled before hugging him once more.

Next up was Rian. He’s always been there for me when no one else was and standing here before him today with everything that’s happened. I just wanted to hug him because I couldn’t think of anything else to say to make it all okay.

“I’m sorry for being mean to you,” I told him before pulling apart.

He smirked and shook his head before saying, “Don’t worry, I understand.”

I smiled at Rian before facing Alex. I didn’t know what to say about him. I mean we’ve had our bitter moments but I guess there were also nice things about him. I can’t say that he’s been the best kind of friend I could have but everyone has asshole moments, right? I just didn’t understand why he had to pour it all on me.

“I don’t know why I even have the nerve to forgive you but you are now forgiven,” I told him and he found it amusing at first but then I saw the guilt plaster on his face almost as instantly.

“I’m sorry,” he said sincerely before hugging me.

Once everything was settled, I said goodbye and made my way down to the beach where Trevor was floating about. He motioned for me to get in and I did what he told me to.

He was in a much better mood now and I felt as if the whole world was finally going my way but then my heart thought that what I did today was nothing but a big pile of crap served on a silver platter. In all honesty, without the whole masquerade or charade, I wanted nothing more than to be with Jack again. I really wanted to be with him more than anything in the world.

I must be really fucked in the head to think I can live life knowing I had a chance to really fix things but decided not to.