Don't You Ever Fear I'm Always Near

So I’ve been Josh’s mechanic for a couple weeks now. I spend so much time with him between the races on the weekend and practice during the week. I love it though, it’s so much fun. There’s only one thing that has been worrying me. I think I have a crush on Josh. I know it sounds silly but…it’s true.

I constantly find myself stealing glances at him or thinking of how cute he is. It’s horrible, I don’t know what to do. So I figured that I’d go talk to my sister, she might be able to help.

Right as I was about to knock on the door I almost chickened out but…my hand eventually came up and tapped the door though.

“Kirstie… what a lovely surprise,” Tanner smiled at me.great! Why does he have to be here!

“Kirstie… hey,” Kylee greeted me with a hug.

“I wasn’t interrupting anything was I? I hope not. I just figured you were relaxing since you usually do testing when you have nothing else going on and…” I rambled on. I always ramble when I’m nervous, I hope Ky doesn’t notice…

“Is everything… ok?” She asked me as her and Tanner sat down on the couch.

“Yeah, I just… wanted to stop by and see what was going on,” I replied while taking a spot in a chair. I couldn’t force myself to look at her though so I just kept staring at a place on the floor.

“Kirsten,” Kylee said a little more hard, knowing there was something up with me.

“Ok fine… but if that thing blabs his mouth, I’m never coming to the wedding,” I told her.

“Who would he tell? Honestly?” She replied while Tanner gave me a big cheesy grin.

“I don’t know! I’m just… urg!” I loudly groaned while dropping my head into my hands.

“Is it really that bad?” Kylee asked me.

“I… I think I have… feelings for… someone,” I choked out.

“Oh… does this… someone, who is probably not at all a moto boy, have feelings for you too?” Her voice rang in my ears.

“I don’t know. Probably not,” I sighed. “Why would he?” I asked, letting my hands fall into my lap.

Kylee groaned something that I couldn’t hear. Tanner was looking at me curiously though so I went on to explain.

“I’m just a girl that works on dirt bikes. I’m a tomboy. No guy finds that attractive!” I told them.

“I know this is a sister thing, but… your sister isn’t the most girly girl. And I find that sexy. She can work on my car any day,” Tanner just had to jump in. He sent Kylee a little look that made me want to gag! They had a little moment before Tanner went on.

“Kirstie, you’re a pretty girl. Why are you so self-conscious?” He asked me.

I didn’t know what to say in response. Everyone has something they’re self-conscious about and I guess the way I look is mine. I’ve never thought I was the prettiest girl, I was the tomboy that guys liked at friends. Kylee was always the pretty one.

I’ve only had a handful of boyfriends and none of them ever lasted. They always ended up breaking up with me and like the next day they had another girlfriend. Kylee never knew any of that though, she was always gone.

“You know… that Josh guy… he is super cute,” my sister spoke up, breaking me out of my thoughts.

“I’m his mechanic though… I can’t like him,” I quickly responded.

“Why not? Tanner and I are on rival energy drink teams and we get along wonderfully,” She giggled before rubbing their noses together.can someone kill me now?

“But still!” I shot back.

“Kirstie, if you like him and you think he likes you back, go for it,” She urged me.

“But I don’t know if he likes me!” I loudly complained.

“Of course he does. You two are perfect for each other… You’re both greasy,” Ky said through a few giggles that she shared with Tanner.

“Ha, ha,” I rolled my eyes but a smile soon broke out on my face.

“You like, Joshie,” Kylee teased me while bouncing up and down next to me.

“SO! You like Tanner!” I said back.yeah, comebacks were never my strong point.

“That would be the reason why he’s my boyfriend,” She beamed.

“Well, I’m leaving. I can tell you’re dying to put your lips on him and I do not want to be around to witness it,” I smiled as I got to my feet.

“You just wait. You and Joshie will be inseparable pretty soon and Tanner and I will be teasing you,” She went on as we walked to the door.

“WILL NOT!” I yelled back just before I hopped into my car and started for home.

I kept thinking of Kylee’s words the entire way home; Kirstie, if you like him and you think he likes you back, go for it. The problem with that is I have no clue if he likes me. He hasn’t given me any reason to think that. And what if I told him how I felt and he had no feelings for me at all, that’s the most likely thing that’ll happen and it would be so awkward after that. I don’t think I could handle that. No, I think I’ll just keep my feelings to myself and eventually they’ll go away….right?