Don't You Ever Fear I'm Always Near

A few months have gone by since Tanner and I have been engaged. I’ve tried to start planning stuff, but… he’s just… busy. It’s the off season! You’re supposed to relax! Not Tanner. He just goes. I don’t exactly know what he’s doing. All I know is that I’m arguing with myself about colors, because he’s not here!

I was just about to give up too. I had all of these magazines laying around me, swatches of colors everywhere, and my phone on the table in front of me, hoping Tanner would call and say he was on his way home. Thankfully, that gorgeous thing walked through the door a couple minutes later.

“You look busy,” he smiled before sitting next to me, giving me a quick kiss.

“I am. I think I’m going crazy too,” I groaned, falling back against the couch.

“Aw, what’s wrong?” he asked while hooking an arm around me, holding me tightly against his chest.

“I can’t pick anything if you’re not here,” I sighed.

“What do you need help picking, babe?” he asked, rubbing my upper arm.

“Everything!” I groaned.

“Well, where do we start?” he questioned in an insanely cute way.

“Colors. I can’t decide,” I sighed once again.

“Yellow,” he smiled brightly.

“Then I want Green,” I shot back, knowing that this would turn into a battle of the sponsors.

“Now, we both know Rockstar would not be very happy with me if I had a green wedding,” he teased.

“Well, we both know that Monster would not be very happy with me if I had a yellow wedding,” I countered, crossing my arms.

“This is going nowhere,” he chuckled.

“How do you think I’ve been all by myself?” I groaned again.

“Aw, baby, I’m sorry. What colors do you like? I’ll give my input for real; all the sponsor stuff aside,” he smiled while sitting up to look at everything on the table.

“I really liked green though. But then I liked yellow… and now I like blue. Why is this so hard?” I complained, making him giggle softly.

“I think you would look gorgeous with blue surrounding you,” he smiled.

“Really? Because I was thinking the same thing about you,” I smiled back.

“Blue it is. See. How hard was that? We can’t have too much more to plan yet… right?” he tried to say with a little cockiness in his voice as he hooked both arms around me and pulled me back into the couch with him.

“Tanner,” I sighed while rubbing my hands over my face. “We only have a date, a venue, and the colors. We still have everything else to do. We need caterers. We need to pick out flower arrangements. We need to get invitations made and sent out. I need a dress. You need a suit. We need to get the music picked out. We need too…” I could have gone on all night, but he pressed his lips against mine, cutting me off. Usually, I love it when he does this, but not tonight!

“And you cannot be distracting while we’re planning this,” I sighed once I pulled away from him.

“So, this would be a bad time to tell you that I got asked to do another TV show?” he asked with a little hesitation in his voice.

Well, isn’t this peachy! He’s already done two TV shows. Why’s he need to do another one? Ok, yes, it’s good exposure for his sponsor and he loves cars, but… did he really need to do it now? I mean really, Tanner.

I couldn’t push any words out. I honestly didn’t know if I was upset or just… sad that he was going to be gone now, leaving me to do all of this while he’s off having fun, driving fast cars and getting that gorgeous face all over TV.

“Baby,” he started after I let out a few frustrated sighs.

I just looked at him with my arms crossed. I still didn’t have words for him. I didn’t even have the slightest clue what he wanted me to say to him. This is like… huge.

“What?” I asked, trying to keep calm right now. Getting upset isn’t going to change the fact that he made a commitment to this… TV show.

“It’ll be ok,” he smiled while hugging onto me.

“How?” I snapped back.

“We’ll still have your dream wedding. Look at it this way: it gives you more time to perfect everything.

“I just… want you involved,” I sighed yet again. I’m starting to lose count of how many times I’ve sighed in the past ten minutes.

“I’ll be involved, sweetheart. It’ll just… take some time,” he tried to soothe.

“But I want to be Mrs. Foust now,” I pouted, making him chuckle and leave a quick kiss on my lips.

“You will. After this TV show… and a few races in Europe, I’m all yours,” he tried to sneak that little last part in.

“Europe?” I shot at him, sitting up quickly. “You never said anything about racing in Europe,” I went on.

“Rockstar wants me to do a few Rallycross races in Europe,” he explained.

“You have to be kidding me right now,” I pushed out while putting my head in my hands, trying so hard not to lose it.

A silence fell over then. It was just oh so lovely! I now know that I am beyond upset right now. We’re trying to plan our wedding and he suddenly got way busier than what he is during a regular race season.

“Baby, do you love me?” he asked after a few quiet minutes.

“Of course I love you,” I replied, shooting a look his way.

“Then you’ll trust me when I say this wedding will happen. You can do what you can without me here. I’ll try and make sure I have my phone on me so I can get your calls for questions or if you just want to talk,” he spoke softly while rubbing my back.

“I don’t want to push our date back though,” I mumbled.

“We won’t. I have faith you in. You can plan a wedding, baby,” he smiled after I sat up. “You need a hug,” he went on to grin, nearly tackling me down onto the couch, making me giggle as he started kissing my neck.

“You’re too cute for me sometimes,” I smiled once we both had settled down to relax.

“You’ve mentioned that a time or two,” he teased.

“I love you,” I sighed while running my hand through his thick hair.

“I love you too, baby,” he replied softly, adding a gentle kiss to the top of my head. “And I can’t wait until you’re my wifey,” he added, making me smile.

I know I may be a little upset that he’s going to be gone for awhile as we’re planning our wedding, but… I’ll eventually be walking down the isle with him. It may take some time, but I love my Tanny. That’s all that matters.