Surprisingly Unexpected

April 20, 2007
It’s our anniversary. He took me to dinner and we watched a movie. It’s been a year since we’ve been together and I feel loved and cared for. I feel so important and needed. I love him. I hope we never change. Everything’s so perfect!

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“I love you,” he said as he looked straight into my eyes. “You know that, right?”

“I know,” I replied. He made that smirk he does when he gets something he wants. I said goodbye and left for school.

Why do I feel like there’s something missing… like something’s not right? Can he be feeling the same thing? We weren’t like this back then. We were closer. Now we’re apart. We live together but I don’t feel like we’re living in the same.

“Ow!” I said as I dropped everything I was carrying to the floor. “What the hell?”

“Are you okay, Ash?” asked a familiar voice. I heard him chuckle while helping me up and picking the things I dropped. “You’re almost late and you’re walking like there’s a procession. You walking with you head in the clouds again.”

“So it’s my fau-” suddenly, my head hurt like hell!

“Hangover?” he said then I looked up to see who I bumped into.

“Oh, sorry Derek. Yeah!” I answered. “Hangover like hell!”

“I figured.” He was looking for something in his bag. Pills, I hope. “Do you need pills? I have some here.”

“You read my mind. You’re a savior!” I took two pills and run towards my room. I looked back and smiled at him. “Oh, thanks, by the way.”

“Anytime,” he shouted back. “And don’t forget, after class at the usual.”

“I don’t really know what’s going on anymore, Carla.”

“So that’s why you’ve been avoiding home?”

“Now that you mention it, I think so. Subconsciously, at least.”

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At lunch, I told Carla everything I’m feeling. She’s my closest friend in graduate school. We’ve only known each other from enrollment but we feel like we’ve known each other for so long already. Most of those who doesn’t really know s thinks so too. We just have this connection… a bond that binds us, a strong friendship that goes way back even before this lifetime. Maybe we’ve always been friends since everything started.

“Have you tried telling Josh that? Have you talked to him about this already?”

“No,” I said. How come I’m not even shedding a tear? “He’ll just say we love each other and that’s the only thing that’s important and nothing else.”

“Even if you’re hurting?” Good point! I know I could always count on her to ask the right questions.

“You know what I realized just now?”

“You’re doing that I-just-figured-out-something look! What is it?” she said and her face just lit up like a Christmas tree.

“All this and I’m not even hurting.” I said. I, myself, was surprised to what I just said. “I’m just frustrated and disappointed.”

“Maybe you’ve fallen out of love with him even before you started feeling this?” And another point for Carla!

“I don’t know.” I answered zombie-like. I was in thinking-hard mode. Then realized I have class in 5 minutes! “Anyway, I have class so see you later!”

“K, let me know if you need to talk more.” she said. “And don’t forget about later!”
I just looked back and went to class.

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“Don’t forget about after class…” said Cecile teasingly. Cecile is also one of my friends who happens to be my seatmate in Nat Sci.

“I know, I know,” I was getting irritated already. “Why are you guys always reminding me? I‘m always there.”

“Because it’s you’re birthday celebration, silly!” Cecile was seriously teasing me.

“Oh, right.” I just remembered it is my birthday celebration. We’ve all been hanging out and drinking ‘til dawn almost every other day since last month. It’s been like that I almost forgot it’s going to be special today - karaoke! “Everything’s set?”

“Of course, my dear!” Cecile was grinning.

“So, why are you so crazy today?” Oh, she noticed? “And don’t tell me it’s hangover!”

I tried to ignore the question but I know she’d think more and… “Don’t you pouting-lips me! Well then, spill!”

“There’s nothing to spill,” trying not to sound defensive. “I just space out a lot ‘cause I lack sleep.”

“That’s… new!” I know she still thinks there’s something. “Okay, at home, I guess, huh?”
“As always.” Technically, it’s true.

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Buzzz… buzzz… buzzz…

Where the fuck is that phone?! It’s gotta be here somewhere… Freakin’ bag! THERE!

“Hey!” Oh, Josh. “How come it took you so long to answer the phone?”

“My phone got lost in my bag.” I just realized how stupid that sounded. “What’s up?”

“It’s Friday so I know you’ll be out with your friends ‘til the morning…”

“Yup!”

“Can you come home earlier?” There’s hesitation in his voice - like he’s afraid I’ll say no. “Like 10 maybe?”

“Maybe.” Is he planning something special for my birthday? Maybe like an early celebration with just the two of us? But just to be sure… “Why?”

“My shift’s until midnight and the game’s at 10:30...” Ugh! I’m so not giving up the party my friends arranged for that game! “So maybe you could record it for me?”

“Oh, um, Carla arranged a party for me so…” trying not to sound frustrated and angry and disappointed all at the same time.

“Oh, yeah, no, it’s okay.” And he’s the one showing frustration in his voice?! Ugh! Kill me now! “Maybe I can watch it on the Internet.”

“Yeah, I can download it for you.”

“Thanks and happy birthday two days from now.”

“Sure, and thanks two days from now!” Hah! Am I rude to try to get back at him with sarcasm? Nah! “Anything else?”

“Oh, no, nothing else.” And he didn’t even sense it. “Bye and enjoy on your party!”

“Always! By-” He ended the call even before I said bye. I guess he sensed it. Or maybe he’s just frustrated I didn’t give up my party for his game. Or maybe he thought I was done? Anyway, I have to call Mom. Shit! I don’t have her number!

“Ash, let’s go?” asked Sam.

“Hey Sam, do you have my Mom’s number?”

“I think so,” she said confused. “In the call log.”

“Great! Her number’s not on this stupid cell!”

“How come?” Now a more confused look… then laughed. “That’s a PDA, not a cell.
She looked for the number and gave the phone to me.

“Oh, it’s all the same!” I defended while dialing. “I don’t know why my Mom got me this anyway. She knows I suck at these things!”

“You don’t suck at those things,” she said laughing. “You just don’t take the time to learn.”

“Haha. Very funny!” It’s ringing. “Go on ahead. I’ll follow… and thanks!”

“Okay.” she said then left.

It’s still ringing. Why is she not answering?

“Charlotte speaking.” About time she answered!

“Mom, Carla and the others arranged a party for me and I was won-”

“Hi Ashbunny! First call from your PDA? So? Is it great or is it great?” interrupted my Mom. “Oh, and what were you saying?”

“Yep, first call. I din’t even have your number here. I got it from Sam. And I’m still figuring out how to use this thing!” I got used to answering all my Mom’s questions right away or else she’ll ask it again and again and again… You get my point? “It’s my birthday celebration. Is Ems there?”

“Oh A-bunny, just read the manual…” she said with a little tease. “Ooh, birthday celebration? Karaoke!!! Ema’s still at work. I’ll forward you her number so you can call her.”

“Okay, thanks Mom!”

“Sure A-bunny,” I so love my Mom! “And enjoy!”

“Always! Bye!”