The Way You Lived Your Life

"So are you staying the night?" I asked, more than hopeful as I watched the ground come back and forth from underneath me. The sky was getting darker, but the sky was still an electric blue. It made everything look lighter than it actually was.

I heard Mike sigh. "I don't wanna go to school."

How could I tell him, "You need to," when I didn't see the point myself? There was just reasons why he really did need to go. I didn't care if he got kicked out as much, but where this was his last chance, I knew he'd leave once he got kicked out. Mike wouldn't care if I tried to say anything about that, though. He doesn't believe two people can be best friends right off the bat.

With Mike, I felt comfortable with him, for some crazy reason. I didn't feel like I had to pretend to be something I wasn't around him. He gave off the vibe that he was really, nothing but accepting of people. Already, I wanted to be his friend for as long as we we could stand, and that wasn't normal for me. It took me months to got close enough to someone, but with Mike it was the first day we met.

"We only have three days this week." I said suggest fully, hoping he'd agree to go.

"I have shit to do, Bill." Mike said, looking off to his side.

"So?"

"I can't just stop my life for school!" He snapped a little, looking at me now. "...I have to get rid of those joints."

"...I'll help you sell them," I quickly offered, "If you go to school with me."

I could easily get rid of the joints at school. During lunch, there was always at least ten people going around trying to scrounge enough change to buy weed. The tricky part was finding where to get it. For two dollars a joint, I could get rid of them faster than Mike could.

Mike's reaction was different than I assumed it was going to be. He groaned loudly. "Ugh! I don't want-" I was quick to stop him with my own loud voice and pathetic sensitivity.

"Do you not fucking get how much I hate going to school everyday," I started, getting a little emotional, "always having to be by myself, sitting alone and having to deal with my friends choosing their other group of friends over me. I do it though, because I need to help my mom and I want to get the hell out of here..." I said, then swallowed the lump in my throat. "I want something else for myself."

"What do you want?" Mike asked, letting me know that he wasn't going to keep on arguing with me.

"...To play guitar in a band." I admitted, looking at Mike now.

A small smile came across his face. "Well, if I had my bass I'd start a band with you." He said getting up off his swing, slowly walking away toward the parking lot where his car was parked.

It made me smile too, even if I didn't want to be cheered up. He did the job, even if he didn't stay put to see if it worked. I watched him walk away as my last hopeful thoughts crossed my mind. Finally, after a brilliant idea came into my head, I got up and started to run toward Mike.

"Hey," I said, catching up, "where are we going now?"

"Well, school's out," he said looking to me from the side. "I was thinking of headed back to your house to beg on my knees for forgiveness from your mom." He was smirking now.

I laughed. "A sorry is good enough for my mom."

He smiled as he kept walking toward his car. After a few more foot steps, I heard the sound of keys as he pulled something out of his pocket. His pace got quicker as we got close to his car, like he was more than eager to leave. I got in the car with him, making a race out of it without him knowing. Before he sat down in his seat, I was already sitting down, shutting my door.

His car started, and he quickly peeled out of the parking lot. It scared me, how fast he was driving, but I knew we weren't far from my house. Within minutes, I knew we'd be pulling up to the front of my house safely.

Once we got to my house, Mike was the last one out of the car and the last one to walk up towards the front door. He looked nervous, like my mom was really going to be pissed that he left the one night. I knew my mom's offer of letting him stay with us was still standing as long as I wanted it to.

"It's fine," I sighed as I opened my door, waiting for him to catch up behind me.

"I'm just not good with parents, dude." He said shyly. It made me smirk- the badass Mike was scared of parental figures. It made me wonder...

"My mom's different though." I told him as we walked into the kitchen. "Mom?"

We waited for my mom to grab what she needed out of the fridge. She set the things down, keeping her back to us the whole time she prepared dinner. "What?"

"Um, someone's here to ask you something." I said, nudging Mike's shoulder.

She turned around once she heard him clear his throat. "Oh, hello, Mike."

He nodded his head at her with a smile, then his head went down a little. "Ms. Armstrong, I wanted to tell you how sorry I was for the other night. The thing is, I really do want that garage... I just wasn't expecting-" Mike started, but my mom was quick to stop him.

"Hey," she said coming closer, bringing him into a hug. "It's fine. Of course you can still take the garage."

I wasn't expecting that, but Mike actually put an arm around her, too. "Thank you." I was just standing around now.

"And I thought I asked you to call me Ollie," my mom said with a laugh to Mike. He smiled back at her. "So why don't you get the garage set up a little bit better for him, Billie Joe? I'm making dinner."

Before I even processed what she had just told me to do, I could only hear her say my full name in front of Mike. No one ever called me that, and when they did, it just made it that much easier to make fun of. Now Mike heard it, and I didn't even have to look over to see if he was laughing. He was trying not to, but he wasn't doing a good job.

I sighed as I walked up the stairs, with Mike following. Once we got out of ear-shot from my mom, he started cracking up. "Billie Joe? I thought Billie was already a hick sounding name."

"Shut the fuck up," I said, not sounding mean, but definitely not laughing with him.

"Oh look at Billie-Joe saying the F word all of a sudden."

"You're rubbing off on me," I said, pulling down more blankets and pillows from the hall closet. "Take this."

He had an arm full of blankets and pillows, and I had the honor of setting up the little t.v. in the garage for him. I didn't mind though. I liked helping Mike out.

He sat on the mattress on the floor as he watched me plug in all the little cords I needed to hook up so he could watch it later. "I don't even get a t.v.," I scoffed.

"Maybe it's because I'm cooler than you?"

We started laughing. "Yea, my mom's biggest concern is who's cooler out of her kids and their friends."

"You never know," Mike said, lounging back in his bed. "But hey," he asked, thoughful, "did you mean it when you said you'd help me get rid of those?" He pointed at the bag full of joints.

"Yea..." I asked, confused. "How'd you get them anyway?"

"I just need you to take them to school tomorrow. It doesn't matter how I got them."

I was really confused now. "Did you steal them?"

"No." He said seriously. "They were given to me. Now drop it." He said firmly.

I was shocked. I just struck a nerve or something, and he seemed pretty pissed about whatever it was that had to do with those joints. I decided to listen to him and drop it. "...I'll get rid of 'em for you then." I said, leaving the room. He didn't even come after me... he just let me walk away, like he wanted me out of his sight.

I frowned as I walked up the stairs to my room, but before I could reach my destination, my mom was calling for me.

"What?" I asked, walking into the kitchen.

"Dinner's going to be done in an hour. Make sure you take it out of the oven, okay? I have to go to work in fifteen minutes and-"

"Mom," I said, calming her down. "I've got it. Don't be late, okay?"

She sighed then kissed my forehead. "Thank you, Billie. I love you."

Then I was free to mope around in my room for an hour. Just like everyday, I'd sit in my room alone, waiting to take dinner out... so no one would eat it. It made me feel bad that my mom cooked, and my siblings were too busy to come to the kitchen and eat. It was always like that when mom didn't have the night off... which was all the time. She worked too hard for us, and her lousy husband just sat around in her's and my dad's old bed. He smoked cigarettes all day long, and only came out to get beer from the fridge. He hated me, too.

It was hard being alone when I knew I had a friend in the same house as me, I just hated how shady he was. Sure, I didn't expect him to be completely open about everything, but he made me curious. I almost didn't feel right about him, but I wasn't going to give up on our friendship over how vague he was. He just always had me wondering, and it wasn't always the worst of thoughts, I just couldn't help but let my mind go.

An interest was growing though. Not only because I wanted to know so much about him, but every time he smiled or made me laugh, I found it harder to stop smiling. He was all I could think about, and it was the first time I had felt like this for a guy. It almost made me feel uncomfortable, but I always knew I wasn't as straight as people expected me to be. I guess I just really liked Mike, or something.

I didn't realize I was jotting down Mikes name all over my paper until I stopped slipping away into my own thoughts. I noticed as soon as I snapped back into reality, but I wasn't expecting lyrics along with the writing. I had a few lines here and there that basically summed up how interesting he was. My heart was definitely warming up to his boyish face and his sarcastic, and funny attitude. I really enjoyed having him around, I just didn't want to set myself up for disappointment.

The only thing I could go off of was that he seemed to be making a little progress...

This new overwhelming feeling of happiness was taking over me, and it was all because of him. I couldn't exactly control my thoughts and feelings as they were slowly growing over the nights, and rapidly progressing during the time we spend together. Maybe I liked Mike more than I wanted to...

Yet I knew he was definitely not going to swing my way. He looked like he'd had sex before, but not in the romantic kind of way. He probably didn't have time for a relationship, seeing that he was always so quick to mess thing up for himself. Mike was the 'bad boy' though, and there was no saying for sure that he didn't get around... He was attractive, and he could play along with any charade, whether it be for the purposes of acting nice in front of parents, or making girls think he was a funny, mysterious, and caring guy. He could have been doing that with me for all I knew...

Still, Mike was as straight as the pants he wore. I wouldn't have even needed to ask him. You could see it with him.

Before I found myself daydreaming about random things again, mostly having to do with Mike, I heard a light knock on my door. I quickly jumped as my heart instantly started pounding against my chest, screaming, "Hide the notebook first!" I almost forgot about my little Mike song I was making up, subconsciously, and slid it under my mattress.

"Hold on!" I said loudly, walking to my door.

He opened it before I could reach my arm out to the handle, and the door smacked me right in the middle of my forehead. I was stumbling back before i knew it, and with a loud thud, I hit the floor. Luckily I landed on my dirty clothes pile, and a bunch of other random objects. The only pain I felt was in my head.

Instantaneously, I heard a booming laughter coming from the only one who laughed at everything that had to do with giving me shit. Mike. Once he realized I wasn't just down to make the situation funnier, he rushed to my side, trying to hide his smirking.

"Billie, are you alright, man!? Fuck..." He was hovered over me, and his long brown hair was almost touching my face, but making a curtain around his. "You went down so fucking fast!"

I didn't even want to speak. I was fearing the massive headache that was bound to happen, and he could tell I wasn't too good. I was a little irritated too. "Why... couldn't you've... just waited for me... to open the damn ass door?!" I said, slowly sitting up.

He laughed again, still leaning down by my side. He helped me up. "Well, I figured you weren't up here jackin' off, so..."

"How do you know?" I asked, wondering why he would assume I wouldn't do that.

"Ha, because you're a momma's boy and-"

"Hey!" I shut him up. "I do it a lot, just so you know..."

He was in a fit of laughter now. I wasn't really laughing, but I couldn't help but to smirk a little. "Billie Joe beatin' it... Please post on your door when I can and can't come in then."

I glared at him as I stood up. I hadn't noticed what a horrible job I did at hiding my notebook until I saw it poking out from my mattress. It was bright yellow, and I knew he would see it if I allowed him to turn around. I had a little panic attack, wondering if I remembered to close my book or not.

He stood up with me, ending up right in front of me. I couldn't let him look the other way.

"Why are you in here, anyway?" I asked, sounding irritated that he had just hurt me, and a little frustrated with the lack of consideration for my privacy.

"You forgot something," He said, leaning closer, almost whispering into my ear, with his warm breath brushing against my face.

Stupidly, I was waiting, and was a little hopeful, for a kiss. Is that what I forgot?

Before I could close my eyes, I heard a rustling of a plastic bag. I forgot to grab the bag of joints before I left his room. "Oh." I said as he handed them to me. He backed away once they were in my hand.

"Sorry about your head," he said looking away. I was busy counting the joints I could see, too busy to understand what his next words meant. "Where's somewhere you can hide them," he said, mostly to himself.

I looked up from counting around twenty, then noticed him turned around, looking around my room. Then he had his grand idea...

"Oh," I heard him say as his voice and movement perked up. "Perfect..."

My insides all dropped to the pit of my stomach when I saw him lift the mattress. "You don't mind if I slash the top lining so I can stash them inside, so ya?" He was talking about the box part of the bed, not the mattress. My eyes were just fixated on the notebook, wondering if I had closed the pages or not. I couldn't see over his huddled body, so I answered quick, trying to get him to finish without the possibility of finding the book.

"Go for it." My stare was blank, but my body was filled with fear and anxiety. I watched him pull out a pocket knife, slash a slit into the lining, then he turned back to me with his hand open. "I can put them under there," I offered, hopefully, and walked toward the bed. He held it up while I put them in. Unfortunately, that was perfect timing for Mike to notice the book.

"Can I see?" Mike asked, grabbing it into his hands. I had the book shut. I forgot what page I had written in earlier.

"Uh..." I started, then went to grab it out of his hand. "I don't think you'd like anything I have-"

He moved away from me quickly, flipping to a random page. I could only hope it wasn't about him. My heart was as scared as I was at that moment. I didn't need to loose a friend over this.

As he nodded his head at whatever he was reading, looking terribly interested. I lunged to grab it out of his hand, but he was quick to spin around. He was obviously one of those bullies that liked to take notes from girls in elementary school, spinning and doing all those maneuvers to escape their grabby- hands. I was failing at stopping him from seeing how I felt about him... I was defeated, so I stopped and let it go.

He turned around to face me once he noticed I wasn't even trying anymore. I sat on my bed and his my face into my hands. I was awaiting him to laugh, make fun of me, or walk out of the room and throw my book down at my feet.

I heard the book close, making the flapping noise of paper, then he spoke. "You're really good, Billie."

I looked up. "You, you didn't hate it?"

"No!" He said, sitting down next to me. "It's fucking rad! You describe it perfectly... I never thought of it that way."

"Huh?" I asked, now thinking he didn't see the one page...

"Being high...What do you call it?"

"Oh!" I said, feeling so much better now. "Green Day..."

"I like it, man. Keep up the lyrics and maybe we can get this band on the way." He said and stood up. "Don't you have something in the oven?"

My eyes opened wide. "How long has it been?" I thought as I rushed out the door. I didn't question if Mike was following, and I forgot how bad that could be... but honestly, I didn't even think about it- at all.

I completely forgot about Mike until I saw him leaning against the wall as I set the table. Mom made some sort of pork, and of course, Mike and I were the only ones who were going to eat it. I didn't even bother setting places for everyone. I put it right in the fridge after I set ourselves up with some food. "My mom makes some awesome food," I explained to him as he sat down.

"Can I eat in the garage?" He asked, sounding quiet.

"I...guess." I said, sitting down to eat my food. I watched him pick it up, and slowly start to walk away... then he stopped.

"Aren't you coming?"

Normally we didn't eat in other rooms, because my step dad thought plates would be left all over the place, but we were all grown up enough to handle it. So I grabbed my plate and walked with Mike into his new room.

We sat on the edge of his bed quietly, watching whatever was on t.v. Luckily, his t.v. picked up a station that was showing a movie, so we had something to stare at.

"Can I tell you something?" Mike asked me.

I looked over at him. "Yea, anytime..."

"Well," he started..."Naw, forget it."

"No, tell me." I pushed. Maybe he was trying to get me to pry it out of him...

"Nothing." He said, looking away, getting quiet. "It's stupid."

"No it's not," I urged. "Tell me."

"Billie, never mind." He said, eating more off his plate.

"I wanna know now," I said sitting up straight, facing him. He didn't even look at me.

"For-get it." He said firmly, breaking it into syllables.

I wanted to know though. It was like telling a fat kid that a bake sale was taking place, but not giving him any direction. Especially with me and my ever wandering mind. "Why'd you bring it up then if you were just going to change your mind?"

"Because I'm stupid and almost trusted you with something I don't want anyone to know!" He said, getting mad. It really pissed me off that he acted like this.

"Fine," I said, taking my plate. "Don't fucking talk to me about anything then."

I left the room. It hurt my feelings that he'd call himself stupid over wanting to trust me with something.

I went right to my room and shut my door quietly, trying not to disturb anyone else in the house. As I walked in, and sat down, I looked around my room to find my book on the floor. I guess I didn't stay to make sure Mike put it away safely, but the book was open. It was on an empty page, but it looked like he wasn't being too careful with it when I left... or something.

It kind of made me nervous, wondering what he could have seen in that book before I left. Not only were silly lyrics in there, but my true feelings were in there too. Who knows what he saw... but he was obviously in a bad mood. I could only assume he saw the one page...

I angrily sighed as I threw myself onto my bed with the lights off. I was going to bed early, and I was not going to open my door if he knocked again. I angrily brushed the long, curly hair out of my face and forcefully smushed the side of my face into the pillow.

"Good-fucking-night," I said, mostly to myself, but I wished Mike would have had special powers so he could hear me.

"I like you, Billie." Mike said, breathing it into my ear. It sounded so passionate.

I wanted to smile up at him, looking into his blue eyes, pushing the long hair behind his ear. I wanted to kiss those lips. Everything in the background was perfect for my first kiss. The sky was growing dark, and Operation Ivy was playing for us in the background. We were in his car, and his mix-tape had all the right songs. I was so edgy, wishing he would just kiss me.

"You're so beautiful, and I don't deserve someone as kind as you in my life." He told me, and his voice sounded so real and sincere.

"You do deserve me," I wanted to say, "so much that you should claim me as yours, and make sure no one else could have me." I couldn't speak though.

"I need to go now, Billie Joe. You'll be seeing me again, but don't expect a specific date."

"No," I wanted to shout. "Don't go!" I wanted to reach out my arms, but before I knew it, I was in a pure white nothing, with no existence other than myself.

What happened?

I woke up, expecting to find myself in the same emptiness, but I was in my room. My floor still covered in dirty clothes, and other random things. Mike sounded so real though... but it was my hopeful thoughts turning my dreams into hopeful dreams, too. I knew better than to think Mike would tell me the same things in reality.

So I dragged myself out of bed, only to find that I was late to school. I know my mom obviously had to work over time, and she would be sleeping in as long as she could, until she had to be up for work again.

I sighed as I walked myself to school, noticing that Mike's car was gone when I walked out through the front front door. I figured he could have been at school, but where I pissed him off last night, he probably said, "Fuck it" this morning and went somewhere else. I didn't need him though, especially if he was going to take advantage of me, only to tell me that he didn't trust me with anything.

Why couldn't I grasp my head around the fact that I shouldn't have trusted him? I didn't understand why I had to walk on egg shells around him, just out of hopes that we could be friends... eventually, hopefully, to become best friends in the future.

I imagined us being the friends that called each other for anything, growing old together, talking about everything... Now he was running off, leaving his friendship behind so he could continue to fuck up his life.

I felt sorry for Mike, and I felt bad for myself that I was so easily interested. Mike was obviously the wrong type of person for a guy like me, and I needed to sty away. I guess I was just too nice though, too nice for someone like him.

I couldn't feel bad, either. Not for judging him like this, because he never told me anything about himself. All I know is his name, that he was adopted and ran away, his school history, and how he's homeless. There wasn't much to go on... I just figured the guy was a complete fuck up.

Getting mat made me not miss him at all. It was easy to walk to school, thoughtful of how much I never wanted to see him again, instead of trying to calm that intense feeling in my stomach. Now I was trying to emotionally strangle the butterflies inside, instead of setting them free.

I didn't need someone like that in my life...

"Hey!" I heard a familiar voice call from behind me. I turned around and I was actually happy to see who was approaching me.

"Hey, what are you doing?" I asked, waiting for her to catch up.

"I was actually going to see if you were home," she said, brushing one of her dread-locks out of her face.

"I'm supposed to be at school, you know that." I said, laughing.

"I don't see you in class, Mr. Armstrong." Adrienne joked. "Want me to walk you there?"

"You don't have to," I told her. "I'm not even sure if I want to go."

She stopped, making what she was about to say more dramatic. "Woah... Billie skipping school? Did you eat something you shouldn't have for breakfast?"

"No," I said with a short laugh, " I've sluffed before."

Her eyes widened. "Have we really been that distant that I don't even know you anymore?"

"It's not that big of a deal," I said, shrugging my shoulders as we slowed down. "I hate school, and as much as I've attended, I think I can miss a few days."

She had a big smile on her face, and her eyes were shining in the sun that was finally up in the sky. Her face was so smooth and soft looking, and I remembered when I used to love her. I almost missed it now that I was with her, but she was never around.

Adrienne was always too busy with her friends, doing who knows what. It's like she never had time for me, but I was always waiting, because I never had anyone to be with. Sadly, she was still my best friend and we talked once a week at the most. All of a sudden she was showing up a lot more though, and I had a feeling it had something to do with Mike.

She wouldn't be jealous, but maybe she saw who he really was and was concerned for me. I never knew with her.

"What's gotten into you, Billie? Or should I say who?" She asked, facing ahead of her.

I furrowed my eyebrows at her. "What do you mean?"

She sighed. "Ever since that new kid-"

"Mike." I corrected, almost spitting his name.

"-Whatever, ever since he came around, you've gotten a bit more..."

"What?" I was curious as to what she was going to call me.

"Fun." She said smiling again.

I laughed. "You don't even know the shit I've done in the past few days..."

She stopped in place, and stared at me as I realized she was stopped behind me. I turned around to face her, and I could see she was waiting to see what I had to tell her.

"Have you ever smoked pot?" I asked, remembering I had the joints.

She had a smirk on her face, and a puzzled look. "What are you getting at?"

"If you have two bucks, I can show you." I winked at her.

Quickly, she pulled out a dollar and four quarters. She looked excited, and we quickly rushed to an alley way between someone's house.

For the first time, me and Adrienne got high together. I never would have thought she was the type, but maybe that's what kept us so distanced. She knew I never would have been 'cool' enough to do things like that, and I guess I had Mike to thank. It only made me want to be more... fun.

She kissed my cheek, like she used to, as she walked away, dropping me off at school. I wanted to skip, but not the whole day. Mornings were just the worst, and now that it was lunch, I could handle it.

I had a backpack full of joints, basically, and I didn't even care as I walked in late to lunch. I sat in one period, that I made it to, late, and no one could smell it. I wasn't expecting to even speak to anyone the whole day, but when I walked in to lunch, I felt like I needed to turn around that instant.

Before I even knew what was happening, I had a group of guys around me, all huddled, trying to keep it private.

"Your name's Billie, right?" One of the husky ones said, with long, brown, wavy hair. Longer than Mike's.

"Yea... What of it?" I asked, being overly confused.

"We have twenty bucks," One of them butted it. He got shoved for it, I guess.

I was still confused; more than confused. "Okay?"

"Can we get ten of them?"

"Ten of what?" I thought to myself, trying to be quick so I didn't look like an idiot. It didn't take me long to realize why the group of 'stoners' were circling me though. "Oooh..." I said, realizing. "One of you meet me in the bathroom." I told them, smiling, leaving the circle of stoners.

Before even five minutes went by, I heard one of them come into the bathroom behind me. The door closed, and he leaned against it, keeping anyone out for the time being. I already had ten joints out, all in a make-shift envelope, I just made out of lined paper, and he counted them out. He smiled, making his cheeks overlap his eyes, basically, and took them as he put a twenty dollar bill in my hand.

"Thanks," he said, leaving. Before the door shut, I heard him tell all his buddies, "2-Dollar-Bill rocks!"

I laughed at my new nickname, and again, wasn't prepared for what happened when I walked back into the lunchroom. After ten minutes, I had around 80 dollars in my pocket, and I was more than satisfied. It was Mike's money though, and I didn't want to spend any of it on lunch. I only had a few joints left, maybe ten, and I was just waiting for the next group of kids to come over, spending their lunch money on weed. It didn't happen at lunch.

At the end of the day, getting on the bus, one of the stoner kids I saw earlier sat right next to me. It seemed like he was trying to be my buddy now, but I was wrong. He quietly asked, "How many you got left, Bill?"

I smiled. "Ten."

"Perrrfect!" He said, giving me another twenty dollars. This was all happening so fast... how did everyone know though?

I took out the baggy of joints, switched them to his backpack, and he was well on his way. I felt accomplished, yet very strange. How did all those kids know I had weed? How did they all estimate I would sell them for 2 dollars each? Something was up...

I got off the bus, and went straight home, only to find someone on my porch. They were waiting for me, and I couldn't have been happier about it.

"Billie!" I was greeted with a huge hug. "How was school?"

"Fine," I said, curiously. "Did you have anything to do with that?" I asked her.

She started giggling. "Well, you're a life saver now!" She shouted.

"80, I don't get them everyday..."

Her face got serious. "Oh."

"They were Mike's. I was supposed to sell them though..."

"Where is he?" She asked, looking around.

I let out a loud sigh and told her what happened. I didn't mention my little crush or anything, but she knew the story now. I did trust her, and she wouldn't have said anything to anyone about the 'new kid' staying in my garage. It wasn't like her to spread personal business about her friends. I didn't even know anything about her new crowd of friends.

"Fuck him then!" She said, sounding pissed. "Use that money and-"

"No," I said firmly. "I know what i want with it though."

"What?" She asked, puzzled.

"A bass." I said with a smile. It was going to be for Mike, because he said he played. I knew he'd like it, and I didn't expect him any time soon, and I knew he would have forgotten the joints by now. If he left so quickly, he obviously wasn't thinking of me.

It was perfect, the color and size. I had 100 dollars, and the nearest pawn shop said they had a hard time getting rid of the damned thing, so they lowered the price each month. This month was my lucky one... Mike's lucky month.

We brought it back to my house, setting it nicely on his bed in the garage, and then Adrienne left... again kissing my cheek. Oh I did miss her...

Hours went by, and so did dinner. I was about to fall asleep into a whole different world, but before I could even fall into sleep, I heard pounding at my door. It was around 2:30 in the morning now, when I was finally getting tired enough to sleep. Who the hell would be pounding?

No one else but Mike. He looked pissed, beat, and dirty. Like last time he pounded on my door...

"What, Mike?" I asked, rudely.

He could only nod his head back, motioning for me to step out. I guess he was being respectful to my mom or something, because she didn't need to be woken up by what he was about to say and do.

I closed the door quietly, and before I could even turn to him, I felt him pull me down towards him. He was getting hostile for no apparent reason... to me.

"Where are they, Billie?"

"Where are wh-"

My shirt was now bunched up into two of his fists, and I was headed backwards real fast. Before I knew, my back smacked the side of the house and he was in my face. I could see the cuts and bruises now, so much better. I was scared.

"The fucking joints."

"I-I sold 'em, dude," I stammered.

He glared. "Give me the money!"

I was breathing heavily now. "Let go of me!"

He threw me onto the yard and stood over me. "Now, hand it over..."

I swallowed hard. What would I say? That I got him a Bass Guitar with his drug money? I was fucked...

"You don't have it do you?" He yelled, and I was instantly feeling pain in my gut. He had kicked me, hard.

"I need the fucking money, Billie!" He yelled as he kept delivering the kicks. I was uncontrollably coughing now. "Get up!"

"Wh-w-what is wron-wrong with yo-ou?" I said, crying now. I could see tears in his eyes too.

I was rewarded with a strong fist to the side of my face, then another one to my right eye. I almost went down again, but he was quick to grab my arm, and he yanked be back up to standing position. He had to hold my shoulders though.

His nose turned up with disgust, and he started balling as he spoke. "Fuck you. You're a selfish piece of rotting shit!" He said, pushing me down onto my ass. He then stormed off into the house, crying hard now.

What the fucking fuck?!

I was fast to get to my room as soon as I could stand, without hunching over to hold my guts in place. He had probably wrecked my insides, and I already promised myself I would not be going to school the next day. All I could do is cry in my bed, holding my stomach until I finally fell asleep.

Mike's POV
Enraged didn't cut it. He had no idea what I had to go through on a daily basis, just to stay alive, literally, and he had the nerve to spend my money? Sure, he sold the shit, but it was my money!

I ripped open the garage door, leaving his pathetic ass outside on the grass. I didn't feel sorry, because I got that same treatment every other day. That wasn't even bad compared to.

All anger vanished when I finally sat on my bed though. There, in all it's glory, was a beautiful bass guitar. I hadn't held one since I was 16, and now there was one right next to me. Slowly, I picked it up, and it came with a note;

Mike, I remember you told me that you played, and I know how it is to go without music. It was the only thing I wanted to buy with the money. I know it's yours, but you did say that you'd start a band with me, only if you had a bass guitar. So, thanks for the short friendship. I hope you start a band with it someday...

I wanted to cry, but all I could do was hold the bass tightly as the only person who cared for me was probably crawling up the stairs to his room...