Around in Circles

“You love him don’t you?” Kayla’s words broke my train of thought. It was more of a statement rather than a question. I did love him, I did. I just stared at her, not knowing what to say. I didn’t really want to confirm or deny it, although at this point denying it would be pointless.

“I-I-I,” I didn’t have to finish my stuttering because she already knew. Trying to get my sentence out was just making me look more like a fool.

“Why don’t you go and tell him that then?” I just stared at her. It wasn't that simple. It always seems that way when you’re not the one that has to do it, but it wasn't. It just wasn't.

“He probably doesn’t feel the same way though. I mean we’re just friends, he definitely doesn’t want to be anything more.” Before I could continue my rant, I was rudely interrupted by water being splashed at my face. What the hell?

“Kayla! What the fuck?” I stood there in shock. She did not just do that. No it was just my imagination, she would not have done that, but the water dripping down my face told me otherwise.
“Stop worrying about it and go!” The look she gave me told me she was not going to back down. I took a deep breath. I couldn’t do it, I just couldn’t. “Now.” She pointed to the door. I took a huge breath of air. OK, here goes nothing. I’ll do it. I started walking towards my room to get a jacket. As I took those few steps towards my room, doubts started to fill my head again, not that they ever left my head in the first place. Why was I even listening to my sister? It’s not as if she had ever confessed her love to anyone before.

I noticed a Harry Potter book lying on my dresser that belonged to Matt. I could always use it as an excuse for visiting if I chickened out. I took another deep breath, was I really going to go through with this?
Crap, I don’t think I can do this. I definitely can’t.

Kayla was giving me an intense stare. What made me actually listen to my younger sister? She did have a point. I should go tell him. If you don’t take risks, you won’t get anywhere, but all I could think about was the fact that he could reject the way I feel. Just thinking about it hurt. It made my heart ache as pathetically cliché as that sounds.
“Kay-“ I opened my mouth to protest again.
“Go. Don’t even think about it just go.” Letting out a deep sigh, I put on a coat and slowly made my way towards the door, slowly opening the door handle.
Here goes nothing.