Hopefully It's Forever

Within days Sophie has been ranting on and on about the wedding that was in a couple of days. She already did a fitting for Senna and everything, she’s just so excited about everything. Something was different though, whenever she would look at me her eyes became a little distant.

My heart would twist and turn when she gave me the look all day but would soon turn around and animatedly talk to Sasha again. Speaking of my blond hair friend she told me that Reya and Greg decided to date, they have been seeing each other quite often.

I knew it was a matter of time before they would cave in and confess to each other. The way they would look at each other, sneaking glances shyly and would turn away when the other one would get caught. Chuckling at the memories that seem so sweet to me, sickened me to the core.

All it did was remind me of Travis and what we could have had. Shaking my head as I tried to pay attention to what Sophie was saying, “I can’t believe our wedding is tomorrow! I am so excited and the wedding is going to be gorgeous!”

I zoned out again not wanting to hear about her marrying Darren, I felt sick to my stomach just thinking about her marrying him. As much as I love Travis, Darren has been holding a huge chuck of my heart for so long that I continue to go back to him.

I want Darren to marry me, not that ditzy brunette. She’s a child for crying out loud! Well to me she is, her at the tender age of 24 is considered a child when your 29. What also sickened me and made me bitter is that Darren has been fooling around with her when she was a minor when he had a child with me.

Instead of taking care of his child, he started to fool around with a teenage girl who didn’t have a care in the world. No real problems except her wants love and affection like any other teenage girl. After work, I darted at the door when I heard Sophie calling my name.

Opening my car door, she slammed it back shut as she gasped for air. “You coming to the wedding tomorrow, right?” she asked cautiously. I nodded stiffly as I asked her to move out of the way, she wouldn’t budge an inch as I gave up in frustration not wanting to hurt this tiny girl.

“What do you want?” I hissed. Her hazel eyes turned into that look that I wanted to avoid this last couple of days. Feeling a bit sorry for the poor girl, I sighed leaning on my car waiting for her to tell me what’s been on her mind.

Shoving her hands into her pockets she quietly told me, “I know what you and Darren did.” I opened my mouth to cut her off but she held her hand in front of her. “Please let me say what I want to say.” Taking a breath in she continue.

“I figured it out a couple of months ago when Darren would come back smelling like your perfume. I was angry with him at first but.” She trailed off “I love him enough to ignore what he did because I know he needs to get you out of his system. All I want to do is marry him and please don’t ruin my wedding tomorrow. It would mean the world to me if you came and celebrated with us. I know you love him but I strongly believe he doesn’t love you anymore.”

My eyes widened, not saying a word as each word came out of her mouth. I followed her with my eyes until she got into her car as she drove past me she waved a bit. Shaking my head I climbed into my car and drove off to pick up my daughter.

Fidgeting with my red dress that I chose for this occasion, I can’t believe I decided to come. But I did even though seeing Darren marrying someone else would kill me I went for my daughter since she was a part of it.

She was in a cream colored flowy dress with white shoes that adorned her feet with daisies that was made into a crown that was placed on her head. Overall, she looked adorable. I smiled softly as I saw my daughter walking down the aisle throwing petals down the aisle.

Glancing at Darren seeing him in a tux with a huge smile that was painted on his face when he saw Sophie walking down the aisle. My heart tightened a bit as that sparkle came across his eyes, the look he use to give me.

Use to.

Closing my eyes for a second, Travis flashed through my eyes. That adorable smile that would shine and light up a room, light curly brown hair that would love to bury my hands into. Seeing Sophie and Darren looking at each with such love, I knew that I really didn’t love Darren as much as I use to.

I was masking my feelings for Travis, all my feelings that I had for him. I knew I love him but now that I accepted it, I know I am in love with him. Everything about him sets me into a daze; I would do anything for him.

When the ceremony was over and everyone went to the reception, Senna was dragged with Sophie to the dance floor before I could take her home. The light in her eyes as she danced was incredible but for some reason Senna seemed a bit tense around Sophie and her father.

Sophie gazed at me with such appreciation as she mouthed a thank you as I nodded in her direction. Walking to them, Darren smirked as I avoided his gaze that was burning holes into me. Telling Senna to say goodbye to them she felt relieved as we walked out of the reception after I gave my congratulations.

I asked Senna why she was being so tense around her father and newly wedded wife but all she did was smile and told me it was nothing. She just felt uncomfortable around them now since there was no chance for him and me to be together now.

Something told me that it was a lie. Something was bothering her, not wanting to press the issue I drove out of the parking lot. Once we arrived home I took off my annoying shoes that only caused me pain as Senna went to her room.

It dawned on me when I looked at my phone, grabbing it quickly as I looked through the contacts. I searched for who I wanted to talk to, pressing the talk button as I pressed the phone to my ear as I heard it beep.

It took two rings before it picked up, “Hello?” that voice just sent me over the edge, as my heart warmed at the familiar voice that I missed so much this past month. “Travis” I wanted to continue but something was caught in my throat, I was too choked up to even continue to talk.

“What do you want?” he demanded. I flinched at his coldness, licking my lips as I said softly “I want to apologize about what happened-“

“I don’t need you to remind me what happened. I know what happened and I know you’re sorry and that you love me. Somehow I just don’t believe you, you probably went back to Darren when you found out I left.” He spat.

Tightly holding onto the phone, I bit back my nasty remark knowing that I wouldn’t get Travis back if I acted bitter. “No I didn’t. I went to his wedding today-“

“Oh, so now are you going to sleep with a married man now?” I couldn’t take it anymore as I snapped, my eyes watered as tears spilled out of my eyes as I wailed “NO! I won’t because I don’t give a damn about him Travis! All I care about is you and only you. Why don’t you believe me? I realized that I don’t want him anymore, he’s moved on and I did too but never realize it until now.”

My voice quivered at the end, as I sniffled as silence was ringing on the other side of the phone. I begged him to answer me but all he said was “Bullshit.” With that he hung up the phone as my heart shattered again, clutching my hair in anger, sobbing loudly. Crying myself to sleep just like the last month.