Dare For Distance

"Cancer. It's definite?" Christofer asked.

"Yes. The doctor said it would take at least two weeks for them to figure out what kind of treatment to give me." I said, my head in my hands.

"Oh, Zohey. I'm so, so, so fucking sorry." He said and gave me a firm, but gentle hug. He had tears running down his perfect face.

What the hell?! Urgh, I. Don't. Like. Him.

I hugged him back. No harm in that, right? Suuure.

"Ingle, do you think I'm even worth it?"

"W-what?" He asked, pulling back and looking at me.

"Do. You. Think. I'm. Worth. It?" I looked at him.

"What do you mean 'worth it'?" His perfect face inches from mine.

"Worth it! Do you think I should try treatment, or do you think I should just go..." I had a stream of tears running down my face.

"Go? No, no, no. You're getting that treatment." He gave me another hug. I had to admit, he smelled super good.

We stayed like that, him hugging me and me crying, for awhile. That is until Kennedy came in and apologized profusely and left.

"Zohey?" He asked.

"Y-yeah." Keep your cool, calm down.

"You know that I like you.. but d-do you like me?" He was so cute when he stuttered. I guess I could just say I liked him, but it's been so long since I 'liked' anyone. The last person.. no. Don't think about him.

"I-i don't know." I said. Translation: Umm, duh? I like you so much I can't think straight when I'm around you. I like you so much you're all I really think about. I almost love you, Christofer Drew Ingle.

"O-oh." He looked down, clearly disappointed.

"Hey, don't be disappointed. It doesn't mean no, you can make it a yes, if you want." He looked at me, tears still brimming his eyes.

"Really?"

"Y-yeah." He leaned in towards me again, waiting for me to meet him half way. Seriously, this was so foreign to me. I haven't been involved with a person like this since.. NO! You WILL not think about him right now. Chris, think of Chris.

I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate, but with him so close, it was hard. I leaned forward and placed my lips on his, testing it out. It felt nice, there wasn't any electrical shock like people say there is. It wasn't bad, though. Defiantly not bad. I pulled away and looked at him. He was so perfect. Every feature was perfectly sized, not too big or too little. I loved it. I went in for another kiss. This time, he added pressure. Our mouths moved in sync, his body never leaving mine.

His tongue traced my lips, asking for entrance which I gladly gave. He tasted so.. sweet. He tasted so Christofer. He was fighting for dominance which I didn't give. Eventually, I let him win. We stayed like that for a while, just kissing. It felt so... right. After everything I'd been through, I deserved this. I deserved him.

In the pit of my stomach I could feel this wasn't right. This was so beyond wrong, I couldn't get involved like this again, not after him. No, never again. I pulled away, tears pooling in my eyes.

"Zoh? Are you okay?" Chris asked. I could tell he was falling. Falling hard, if I might add. Fuck.

"N-no. I can't do this. Not again." I pushed him off the bed. Harsh, even for me.

"O-okay?" He gave me a quizzical look, but I just couldn't. Never. Ever. Again.

'You see this girl
She's got a problem telling time
If you knew her
You'd ask me so many questions
She's confused about her image
Although we all agree she's so beautiful..'

This was going to end right here. If not now, sometime soon. I looked down at my wrists, so many scars. So many scars that needed to be deeper than they were. I couldn't help it, he ruined me.