My Only Sunshine

Monday morning. There is nothing I hate more than Monday mornings.... besides my life. But thats besides the point. After forcing myself up, and ready, it was time for the worst part of the day; school. Being the new girl, everyone would assume that people would be all over my shit, but no, only on the first day. Once they found out I was into old school rock, and not a total slut, I was shit out of luck. Whatever though, it is what it is.

Today, I had to walk to school, because as it appeared Mom had already left for job hunting, or whatever she was going to do today... and Asshole went with her; well hell even if he was, I wouldn't ask him. But whatever.

When I stepped outside it was again, super hot. Jesus Christ, where's the cold breeze of fall? This is why I hate it here even more; no season change... it's all the same. I practically ripped my sweatshirt off, the heat was driving me insane. I put my headphones on over my beanie, then plugged them into the jack on my iPod. I scrolled through songs until I found something decent... In Bloom by Nirvana appeared, which was perfect, so I kept it on.

I quietly hummed the lyrics on my short walk to the school. Once I was almost there, I patted my pockets, and felt nothing, then I patted certain pockets of my bag; I found my lighter, but not cigarettes. Way for my day to be ruined... I rolled my eyes, then cursed. I blew it off then kept going.

Soon enough, I was right near the school... what a joy. I passed by the basketball court, and then turned off my music because the school was right there.

"KENDRA!" Someone belted at the top of their lungs. I jumped then turned to the direction of the voice that called me. I saw Matt standing in the middle of the basketball court, shirtless, waving at me. There were other guys in the court staring at me, and everyone around me was starring at Matt and myself.

I chuckled then waved back at him, "Matt!" I yelled back to him. He laughed too, then motioned for me to come over to him, but I shook my head. I saw him sigh, which made me laugh again.

"KENDRA! COME HERE NOW. DON'T MAKE ME COME OVER THERE!" He screamed to me, which made me laugh even harder.

I shrugged simply, "I guess you'll have to come over here!"

He shook his head, then the next thing I knew, he was sprinting to me. I saw him put his arms out, so obviously I though he was going to hug me... but damn was I wrong. I saw the ground below me, and felt Matt shoulder under my gut. He picked me up and was running with me.

"Matt! Put me down! I'm gonna fall!" I said to him, and started lightly punching his back.

"Hold on Ken!" He said with a chuckle.

"KEN?! I am not Barbie's dickless boyfriend!" The next thing I knew, both Matt and I were on the ground and he was roaring with laughter. I stood up and brushed myself off, and glared down at Matt.

He looked up at me and smiled at me brightly with those dimples of his, then he stuck his arms out, "Help a brother out?"

I laughed, then grabbed his hands and pulled him to his feet, and damn was he heavy, "Fatty," I teased at him.

He pretended to be taken aback, "Excise me girlfriend, I am not fat," He lifted up his shirt, revealing his amazing stomach, then he flexed, "Is that fat to you?" I just rolled my eyes in defeat, "Thats what I thought! Now c'mon, I wanna introduce you to some sexy mother fuckers." He grabbed my hand then pulled me along in the direction of the basketball court.

"Well Matt, I didn't know you were gay?"

He faked a laugh, "You're too funny."

"Oh I'm aware," I told him, then poked his side, "Don't even deny it."

He just rolled his eyes and continued on to the court, he stopped once we got there, then looked around at the guys in there, then they all came over to us. "Guys, this is Kendra," He looked at all of them, then looked at me.

"Hi," I said in a low tone, then waved shyly.

One really tall one with black hair came the closest, then he wrapped his arms around me, and pulled me into a tight hug... I didn't know what else to do, so I hugged him back, making the guys all laugh. Eventually he pulled away then turned to Matt, "MATT SHES THE FIRST TO HUG ME BACK. CAN WE KEEP HER?" We all laughed at him, especially me, he seemed so lovable, how could you not hug him?

"Kendra, this is Jimmy," He told me, pointing to the one that just hugged me.

"Hi Jimmy!" I smiled at him. He smiled back at me. His smile was so cute, it made me smile wider.

Matt pointed to another guy. He had beautiful eyes, full lips and puffy cheeks, he was the most adorable thing I've ever seen in my life. "That's Zacky." I waved at him, he smiled at waved back to me. His smile was great too.

He pointed to another guy, he was tall, but not as tall as Jimmy, had jet black hair and big beautiful brown eyes, "That's Brian."

"Hey Kendra," He said to me, also wearing a smile.

"Hi Brian," I said back to him, still in a shy tone. I saw Matt glance at me and give me a weird look, he obviously noticed my shyness.

Then he pointed to a short kid who was super adorable, "and thats Johnny." Johnny 'sup-nodded' my way, and I waved at him, "Excuse Johnny's rudeness..." Matt laughed.

I went to tell him it was all right, but before I could Jimmy had Johnny in a headlock, "Short shit, don't be rude to our new friend, I want to keep her, shes not like the others!" He shouted at him.

"Okay! Okay! I'm sorry!" Jimmy released him, and after he caught his breath, he walked up to me and hugged me. I laughed a little then hugged him back.

The piercing ring of the bell rang all around us, "Well fuck, it's time for school..." I pointed out the obvious, sighed, then looked at my feet.

Matt laughed, "Ken, you know, it doesn't have to be," I looked up at Matt and he was smiling. Skip school? I hope he knows how awesome he is.

"Well, I dunno, I would but I don't want my step-dad asshole up my ass..." thinking about it, when do I give a fuck what John thinks? "Actually yeah sure I'd love too."

They all laughed at me, "The best turn around, in the shortest amount of time," Zacky commented.

Jimmy turned to him with a stunned look, "No Zacky, your argument is invalid. That was great," he said looking my way, but then he turned back to Zacky, "The best turn around in the shortest amount of time was said by the great, Matthew Berry," I heard them all groan, which made me laugh a little, then Jimmy turned to me, "All these guys are assholes---"

"Yeah and its because you requote it all the time," Johnny muttered. Then Jimmy turned to Johnny, and if looks could kill Johnny would have been dead.

"Was I asking you short shit? NO. And look at all the fucks I don't give!" The rest of the guys roared with laughter, and so did I. Johnny just starred at Jimmy, with a stunned look on his face. Then Jimmy turned back to me, "Anyways, one day, our friend Matt Berry and I were talking, and he looks at me, and goes: One day dude, I'm just gonna get off the bus and I'm gonna run into the woods, and I'm never gonna come back... and when I come back, I'm going to the the knife master!" He paused, and I laughed a little at it... and I was also laugh at the fact, that Brian and Zacky were mimicking Jimmy with these priceless expressions on their faces. "ISN'T THAT AMAZING?"

I nodded, "Yeah, its great Jimmy!"

"SEE I TOLD ALL OF YOU ASSHOLES!" He yelled as he peered around at everyone. I looked to the school and spotted a teacher walking out the front door, I tugged on Matt's shirt sleeve, then pointed to her.

"Guys, we better get the fuck out of here," he said, then pointed to the teacher.

"Thanks for that, Captain Obvious!" Brian told him, his words dripping of sarcasm.

I giggled, and Matt faked a laugh, "You're too funny Brian."

He nodded, "i'm WELL aware."

I felt Jimmy grab my arm and start to tug me, "C'mon Kendra, lets blow this pop stand and let these losers get caught!"

I laughed, "Okay Jimmy, let's do it!" I walked side by side with him to Matt's car, then I felt someone grab my waist, I turned around to see it was none other than Matt.

"Don't think you're going anywhere without me," He smirked.

"I wasn't planning on it," I told him smirking back. WAIT WHAT DID I JUST SAY?! Sudden confidence boost Kendra? Jesus what was this boy doing to me?

---

We drove around for awhile, and listened to Metallica and Guns N Roses. At first I was a little shy to sing them out loud with all the guys in the car that I had just met, but when Matt and Jimmy started screaming the lyrics, and soon after Zacky, Brian, and Johnny joined in, I couldn't help myself. We all just had a good time driving around screaming lyrics to some of the greatest music to ever be made.

Eventually the fun stopped when Matt pulled up to a house and turned the car off. Jimmy looked at me, "I like you. You're actually cool, not like the stuck up bitches that go to our school," He pulled me into a hug, "WILL YOU MARRY ME GIRL UNLIKE NO OTHER?!"

I laughed,"If you take me to a Metallica concert, I will seriously consider that offer."

I watched as Jimmy flailed his arms with excitement, then hug me again, "I WILL DO THIS KENDRA. YOU HAVE MY WORD!" Then he planted a kiss on my cheek. I still can't believe that these.... amazing people like me.

Brian eyed Jimmy, "James, please, lets not freak out another person..." Jimmy gave him and a look and they both started laughing, Brian turned to me, "You're not freaked out right?"

I was really shocked at that, "Not. At. All. I actually kinda fucking love you guys!" I told them.

Zacky gasped, "SOMEONE LOVES US... AND THIS TIME ITS NOT BRIAN'S MOM!" I watched as her messed up Johnny's hair, "HEAR THAT SHORT SHIT? SOMEONE LOVES YOU!"

Johnny turned around and glared at Zacky, "Wanna fight?"

"Oh well look who grew some balls..." Matt muttered loudly.

Johnny turned back to Matt, stuck his middle finger up, then put it in front of Matt's face, "Fuck you Shads. You just need to get off of the T-I-P of my D-I-C-K."

"Since when did you grow one?" Brian asked cocking up an eyebrow.

"Since when have you been checking out Johnny's package?" Zacky questioned Brian. A disgusted look was covering Zacky's face.

Brian licked his lips, "When don't you?"

As this was all going on, I was gasping for air in the back seat from laughing so hard. Tears were streaming down my face, and my stomach was aching. Damn, where have these guys been all my life?

A few more words were exchanged amongst the guys, but I was laughing too hard to even hear half of what they were saying.

"Guys," I heard Jimmy say, "I think we might be killing her with our unbelievable hilariousness, good looks, and charm. Maybe we should cut it out for a little, until we get into the house?"

"Good plan!" Matt said, then they exchanged a high five.

Eventually I caught my breathe, and I wiped away the tears that were on my face, and took another deep breathe, "Okay, I'm good."

"I'm sorry we were too much for you to handle," Zacky said in an apologetic tone, "We tend to do that to people."

"Matt does mostly, with him and that horse cock..." Brian winked at me, and I started cracking up again.

Matt opened his mouth to say something, but then closed it and shook his head. "C'mon guys, lets go inside," Matt got out of the car, and then everyone else exited as well. When I went to get out, Matt was still waiting for me. He held his hand out, "My lady?" I grabbed his hand, then he pulled my up, closed my door then led me up to the house.

"SHADS WANTS KENDRA'S NUTS!" Jimmy sang over and over again as we continued to walk through the house.

"Shads?" I questioned Matt.

Matt laughed at me, then proceeded to answer, "Well these guys, they're my band mates, and we all have our own thing; I'm M Shadows, Shads for short. Jimmy's The Reverend Tholomew Plague, 'Rev' for short, Zacky's Zacky Vengeance, Brian's Synyster Gates, or simply Syn, and Johnny's Johnny Christ. They're our cute little shit stage names for when we finally land a gig."

How in my right mind did I forget that he was in a band? "Dude thats awesome," I told him with a smile, "I'm sure you guys will land a gig soon, and I'll be your biggest fan."

Matt smiled back, his dimples showing... he was too perfect for words, "Promise?"

I nodded, "Of course."

"Good, because I was thinking, if you want, we could play you a song we just made a few weeks ago."

PLAY ME A SONG? FUCK YES, "I'd love to here it," Remember play it cool, cool...

"Awesome." He led me into a garage, where the guys were already fucking around. Jimmy was playing around on his drums, Zacky and Johnny were having a fake fist fight, and Brian was playing around on his guitar.

"Guys, wanna play this lovely lady a song with me?" Matt asked all of them.

"I'D LOVE TOO," Zacky shouted, and stood up and ran over to his guitar. He left Johnny on the ground after he knocked him down in their little 'fight'.

"Whoa Zack, calm your dick, you don't wanna impregnate her with your excitement...." Brian said, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"True that Syn. True. Fucking. That." I laughed a little, but then attention was brought back to Matt when he clapped his hands together.

"Any songs you guys want to play?"

"LIPS OF FUCKING DECEIT!" Brian yelled, "That's my favorite."

Matt laughed, "Okay then lets do this shit!"

After a little tuning, they started. Brian and Zacky started off with the guitars, and they sounded beautiful, then Jimmy started with the drums. Things started off slowly, then got faster and the song when on. Matt hummed along, then the song when dim, then just sparked up, and everyone started going at it. Matt just broke out screaming... I loved this.

"The mark I breathe on you.
It’s tearing through your soul.
The breath I waste.
Losing control.
I bleed in pain.
Testing what I know.
Lips soaked in deceit.
Pull me from here.
No one’s innocent.
So why do I feel bad?
But guilt keeps creeping, creeping up on me.
Guilt. Tearing me up inside.
The innocent.
An evil in disguise.
The face of beauty to fall for.
I fall to my knees, deceitful.
Brought down by feelings of regret.
Again your mind has failed the test.
Not everyone feels the same.
Pacifist blinded by the game.
Stand tall. They’ll break your heart.
Stand tall. They’ll smash your ego.
Stand tall. They’ll tear you down.
Stand tall. Scar your soul.
Break your thought.
Fuck your mind.
The mark I breathe on you.
It’s burning through your soul.
The breath I waste.
Losing control.
I bleed in pain.
Testing what I know.
Lips soaked in deceit.
Pull me from this hole."

Then it was over. I thought my head was going to explode of the sheer awesomeness of the song. These boys were going places, I just knew it.

"So what did you think?" Johnny asked, breaking my trance.

I was too stunned to even speak. They were just simply amazing. "Wow..." was all I could manage.

---

At around six o'clock, I knew it was time for me to leave. The guys played me a few more songs, and we just hung out and had a good time. I really liked those guys, and I think they might be the best thing thats happened to me in a long time. At first, they didn't even want me to leave, I told them that I had too, so Matt drove me home. We didn't speak on the ride home, we just enjoyed each other presence and soaked up the well needed silence from our day of ruckus.

Once we pulled up to my house, and turned to Matt and he was smiling at me, "Today... was awesome."

I smiled back, "I was thinking the exact same thing."

"The guys like you, they really do," He told me, making my smile wider, "But, I don't think they like you as much as I do."

I giggled, "Oh really? And how do you know?" I really wanted to know where this was going.

"Because," He started in a low tone, "know of them have been dying to do this..." The next thing I knew I felt Matt's lips pressed to mine. I was shocked at first, but then I kissed him back, our lips moved together in harmony, and the butterflies I felt in my stomach were ridiculous. Matt pulled away, then finished his sentence, "As long as I have."

We gazed into each other eyes for a moment, then I pecked his lips one last time. I didn't even say anything to him after, but I hugged him, then go out of his car, "I'll see you tomorrow Matt." I leaned back into the car and kissed his cheek, then I walked up to the house, panting. I can't believe that just happened... My first kiss was with Matt... the boy I just met. The boy I've always dreamed of...

I walked into the house to find my mom and John sitting in the living room.

"Hey," I said with a wave.

"Kendra, where have you been?" My mom questioned, her expression looked worried.

"Out," I said simply, then closed the door behind me. I kicked off my sneakers then walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch opposite them.

"Out where?" John asked me.... asshole.

"With some friends..." Why did they care? They never did before...

"Why didn't you go to school?" they asked in unison.

I had to hold back a laugh, "I didn't feel good... this morning."

"But you felt well enough to go out with your friends?" John seemed pretty pissed right about now... I was enjoying this far too much for my own good.

I nodded, "Yeah because I felt better later," I laughed a little, "But seriously, you guys need to lay off, whats with the sudden care? You guys never cared before."

The expression on my moms face looked hurt, "Kenny, I've always cared..."

I scoffed, "You never acted like it... why now do you care? Oh wait, you've always cared, so let me rephrase that; why are you acting like you care now?"

"Oh my god Kendra, stop being such a little bitch," Johny snapped at me,"Your mother has always cared, you've just been too much to death with."

I rolled my eyes, "No one asked you asshole," I stood up from the couch, "Look, I don't give a fuck about this bullshit. I don't need this; I don't need you guys ruining my good mood." I started walking away, and I just made it up the first step on our staircase when I heard my mom call, my name. "What?" I demanded.

She appeared with tears streaming down her face, "Wanna know why? Wanna fucking know why?"

It truly killed me to see her that way... "Why Mom?" I asked her in a soft tone.

"Because," She started, and wiped her tears from below her eyes, "I fucking have cancer."

At that moment I felt my heart skip a beat.