A List of Best Intentions

As time rolled on, Matchboxingmatch poured sweat into their amps, doing a clever mix of covers and original songs. They even did that stupid Cher song, something a lot of ska bands were known for – doing weird covers.

But it didn’t matter what they played, ‘cause they did it with a brick wall of passion. Every song was power packed and fun, maybe not played very well, but nonetheless they were a total party band.

When eight o’ clock came around, a normal CD was popped in the boombox to hold us over until I Am You Are was ready. While they were hooking up and doing soundcheck and all that good stuff, we jammed out to bands I’d never heard of – I asked the sound tech, Justin, what it was. He said it was his own mix from home: Hot Water Music, Bouncing Souls, and Cap’n Jazz. Three bands I didn’t have the slightest idea about.

Soundcheck took, like, half an hour, a hell of a lot less time than Matchboxingmatch’s. I guess since the party was already underway, they had to haul ass.

‘Haul ass’ wasn’t in Robert’s vocabulary.

The kid was stuck on the porcelain throne while the others simply waited around, strumming their guitars impatiently. When confronted by Jon when he finally came out, he simply said, “I ate a bad corn dog.”

And they broke into their signature song, “Nobody.”

The irony wrenched my gut.

When I started school this year, I had no clue 1999 could very well be the last year I’d live. And then I started that list…man…I probably hurt myself more than I helped.

But hey…I got myself almost famous. And that kind of felt good. And if that never happened, I wouldn’t be at the party and gotten the opportunity to win Stephanie back…

Oy.

If I never punched Cody when I got back from jail, she wouldn’t hate me nearly as much, I bet. God…I’d bet cash money on that. It was all ‘cause of that damned list. Of course, if I didn’t make it, then I would never have met her…

Where would I be if 1999 were just another year…and not the year before the end of the world?

What would happen if I never strived to meet the goals on my list?

As a matter of fact…where would I be if I never even came up with that idea?

You know, they say that when God closes a door, he opens a window. (Well, I said that earlier.) That year taught me a lot – and that saying’s true. With fame came stupidity; with stupidity came fame. I broke my arm. I got grounded. I got arrested. But I think I got a legit crush. I met Third Eye Blind. And I made a ton of new friends – Keisha, Nick, Elton, Charlie, and Dakota.

Maybe things weren’t so bad after all.

I mean, hey, I was still there.

I may have still had the cast and police record, but I had Cody and one more shot to drive 1999 into the history books.

…Yeah.

Whether or not the band can play on come midnight, the world would keep on turning. Even of the lights go out…right?

That is…unless all the nuclear missiles go off and kill us all…

Eleven o’ clock rolled in and I Am You Are exploded into a cover of one of the songs on the CD we heard. I asked Justin, the sound tech/so-called “stage manager” what it was called. He said, “Southeast First.”

That song was loud, man. Freakin’…freakin’ instant hearing damage loud. It wasn’t just the instrumentals, either. The vocals were big and screamy, not normally the kind of stuff Bruce would sing. When he wanted to, he could scream, and he did.

I Am You Are’s version of “Southeast First” ended with a long throaty yell that was twisted with feedback from the amps. The audience could cover their ears all they wanted, but it was just too loud. When it was all over, Bruce stood up straight, completely red in the face, but his expression was blank like it was nothing at all.

“Thank you,” he had coughed into the mic.

And then they went right back to rockin’ out.

Cody grabbed my shoulder. He was grinning ear to ear when he told me, “You ready bro?”

I gulped, nodding a little. I was kind of nervous. “Kinda.”

He waved his hand. “Ah, don’t worry man! Just chill. Party it up!”

Yeah, someone spiked the punch again.

“So when you goin’ on?” Cody asked.

“After they play ‘A-Frame,’” I whimpered back.

He slapped my shoulder, still smiling. Walking away, he started banging his head randomly. Poor kid. He was gonna have a hangover from hell, and I was probably gonna have to walk him through it. No matter, though. I was cool with that.

I caught glances of Stephanie dancing from across the room. I stuck close to the staircase, though, close to the band, close to their roadie, Justin.

“Relax, kid,” he had laughed at least five times when he caught me staring at her. I didn’t say a word.

11:30 rolled to us. I Am You Are showed no signs of stopping, despite playing on and off for over three hours. But at one point, they stopped, and Bruce took a moment to say a few words.

“Here we are, within half an hour of 2000…maybe the end of the world’ll come…maybe it won’t…still…” he said in between heavy breaths. All the members had sweat literally pouring off of them.

“I wanna take this time to say a thing or two…”

He walked over in front of Alyssa. Jon shot a smile back at Robert like they knew exactly what was going on.

Bruce took her hand, smiling earnestly at the guitarist.

“Alyssa, I love you.”

Instantly, the crowd went insane. Hooting, hollering, cheering, whooping…I was confused. I thought they were already going out.

Apparently not.

‘Cause Alyssa’s face split into a huge grin as soon as he said it. She shouted something that didn’t quite make it over the noise, but judging by the size of the kiss she gave him, I’d bet it was something like, “I love you too.”

And as the two met lips, I got a little feeling inside me. It was that feeling you get when you hear a good song, or you’re drivin’ with the windows down…

Joy.

Man, I hadn’t felt that in a long time.

And to top it all off, makin’ it the icing on the cake, Jon broke out into a huge grin like they had and just went over and gave his sister a hug. And Bruce gave him a hug, and then it all ended up as one big band group-hug.

I Am You Are rocked on with their original song “A-Frame,” and then when that was done, I rocketed up the stairs and threw my guitar around my neck.

Damn. This was twice the crowd they had at that party a few months back.

“This is our bud Kevin. He’ll be playing with us for what I’m hoping won’t be our last song…and he’s got something to say,” Bruce introduced, a huge smile on his face. He stepped away from the microphone and gave it up to me…

I adjusted it. He was short.

“Hey,” I spoke. “Before we play, I just wanna give a shout out to a girl I know. Stephanie…um…I don’t really know your last name…”

Bruce elbowed me. “Beckett.”

“Beckett. Yeah.”

I saw her face in the crowd. She was looking right at me with wide eyes.

“TLC shirt. Blue jeans. Blonde hair. Yeah, I see you.”

Laughs. I didn’t mean for it to be funny, though.

“Anyways…look, I’m sorry. For pissing you off and everything. Just had to say that before, you know, we all die.”

And Stephanie smiled. I dunno if it was just because we were in a crowd and she thought she was under some sorta pressure, but it felt nice all the same.

I backed away from the mic, and began plucking the riff for Don’t Speak. Alyssa had her acoustic in hand, so all the electric guitar parts were reserved for me.

All I needed was to make Stephanie realize I was sorry, and with I Am You Are behind me, this felt like it could have worked.

She was smiling through the whole song, from beginning to end. That’s what made me persevere and play my absolute best, however bad I may have sounded. I was just so happy, to put it simply. I didn’t even care about the band anymore. I just wanted to get down there and be with her.

It was pretty obvious that I wasn’t meant to be a musician, ‘cause I was only waiting for the song to end. Hell, if I could have gotten a double up there and have him play for me, I’d have done it in a heartbeat.

But when the last chord rang out and I Am You Are was done for the year, I ripped my guitar off as quick as I could and dashed down the staircase.

Just in time, the ball in Times Square was dropping on the TV.

“10!” the crowd chanted.

Halfway down.

“9!”

Off the stairs.

“8!”

Blocked by some moron barricade…

“7!”

I accidentally made some dude spill his drink.

“6!”

He punched my shoulder.

“5!”

Stephanie was straight ahead.

“4!”

She saw me.

“3!”

We ran toward each other.

“2!”

I leaned in.

“1!”

And as if it was all I had worked for in the past months, we kissed – no puking, no messy party in the background, no drunken headaches!

“Happy new year!”

1999 was over.

The lights were still on.

And 2000 was gonna be a great year.

I could feel it in my veins, next to the adrenaline pumping through my system and the hope that everything could only get even better. My head never really was on completely straight that year, but at that moment in time, I truly felt like I had it all figured out. I can’t say I ever thought that clearly again.