Re-Occuring Thoughts
This Is Just A Dream
“Sarah wake up” Someone whispered into my ear. And by someone, I mean Vic.
He was lying beside me with his arms around me.
He took my shoes off and put a blanket over me. I felt that I could lay here forever. I’ve never felt so safe in my life.
I think he knew I was awake because he started to rub my arm slowly.
I couldn’t be mad at him anymore. I mean obviously he cared about me. I just wanted to drift back into sleep with him right beside me. This all just felt like a dream.
A dream.
A FUCKING DREAM.
This was all another dream. My perfect dream Vic was here. Not the real bipolar bitch that doesn’t know what he wants.
I threw “Vics” arm off of me and tossed the blanket to the floor.
“Why can’t I have what I want just this one time!” I scream at myself more than anyone.
“What?” Vic said with a confused look on his face.
I turned my attention to him.
“You’re. Not. Real. WHY CAN’T YOU BE LIKE THIS IN REAL LIFE?!” I yelled at him.
“What are you talking about Sarah?” he got up and walked over to me.
“This is just a dream! This isn’t who you really are!” I said almost in tears.
“This isn’t a dream Sarah! I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about right now.” He looked at me like I was crazy, but he also had sympathy in his eyes and he look deeply concerned.
He came in for a hug and I let him hold me while I cried.
“I’m just so confused Vic. These dreams. The way you act. You hate me. You love me. I hate you…” I paused for a second and looked into his eyes. The way I felt right now was something I haven’t felt in a long time. I felt happy.
“…I love you.”
His face brightened when I said this.
“Really?!” He whispered, his voice cracking alittle.
“…Yes.” I was almost in tears because I knew that this was a dream. This couldn’t be real. But I wasn’t going to fight it anymore. I was going to be happy. Fake or not.
Vic looked happy enough for the both of us.
He took my chin and brought me in for a kiss.
It felt so real. And I was loving it.
I stepped closer to deepen our kiss.
God I could stay like this forever.
But this wasn’t going to last forever. I was going to have wake up any minute now.
I was tired of being teased.
I brought all my will power together to pull away from Vic. Probably the toughest thing I’ve ever done.
He looked at my puzzled.
“I can’t do this anymore. This isn’t real. So why even bother.”
I stepped away from him and look around, trying to find a way to wake myself up.
Luckily my room was on the 2nd floor.
I walked over to the window and opened it.
Vic look so surprised “Sarah… Sarah what are you doing? SARAH NO!”
But it was too late. I already hoped out of my window in attempt to wake myself up from this amazing/tragic/depressing dream.
But I didn’t wake up.
Everything just went black.
He was lying beside me with his arms around me.
He took my shoes off and put a blanket over me. I felt that I could lay here forever. I’ve never felt so safe in my life.
I think he knew I was awake because he started to rub my arm slowly.
I couldn’t be mad at him anymore. I mean obviously he cared about me. I just wanted to drift back into sleep with him right beside me. This all just felt like a dream.
A dream.
A FUCKING DREAM.
This was all another dream. My perfect dream Vic was here. Not the real bipolar bitch that doesn’t know what he wants.
I threw “Vics” arm off of me and tossed the blanket to the floor.
“Why can’t I have what I want just this one time!” I scream at myself more than anyone.
“What?” Vic said with a confused look on his face.
I turned my attention to him.
“You’re. Not. Real. WHY CAN’T YOU BE LIKE THIS IN REAL LIFE?!” I yelled at him.
“What are you talking about Sarah?” he got up and walked over to me.
“This is just a dream! This isn’t who you really are!” I said almost in tears.
“This isn’t a dream Sarah! I’m not quite sure what you’re talking about right now.” He looked at me like I was crazy, but he also had sympathy in his eyes and he look deeply concerned.
He came in for a hug and I let him hold me while I cried.
“I’m just so confused Vic. These dreams. The way you act. You hate me. You love me. I hate you…” I paused for a second and looked into his eyes. The way I felt right now was something I haven’t felt in a long time. I felt happy.
“…I love you.”
His face brightened when I said this.
“Really?!” He whispered, his voice cracking alittle.
“…Yes.” I was almost in tears because I knew that this was a dream. This couldn’t be real. But I wasn’t going to fight it anymore. I was going to be happy. Fake or not.
Vic looked happy enough for the both of us.
He took my chin and brought me in for a kiss.
It felt so real. And I was loving it.
I stepped closer to deepen our kiss.
God I could stay like this forever.
But this wasn’t going to last forever. I was going to have wake up any minute now.
I was tired of being teased.
I brought all my will power together to pull away from Vic. Probably the toughest thing I’ve ever done.
He looked at my puzzled.
“I can’t do this anymore. This isn’t real. So why even bother.”
I stepped away from him and look around, trying to find a way to wake myself up.
Luckily my room was on the 2nd floor.
I walked over to the window and opened it.
Vic look so surprised “Sarah… Sarah what are you doing? SARAH NO!”
But it was too late. I already hoped out of my window in attempt to wake myself up from this amazing/tragic/depressing dream.
But I didn’t wake up.
Everything just went black.