We're Writing Our Own Rules

Just over another month passed, taking it past mine and Jeremy’s 7 month mark. I can’t believe we’ve been together this long already, especially since we haven’t had sex yet. Yeah, since Ash, Nate, Dylan and Geoff cock-blocked us, we just haven’t found time between our busy schedules when we’re both not exhausted. But damn, I’m hoping we get a relaxing night to ourselves soon, because mixing work stress with sexual frustration is never a good thing.

Not with Jeremy’s temper anyway. Or mine for that matter.

I finished work fairly early today so I got home before Jeremy did, which is rare. I was lying down on the sofa in my ripped skinny jeans and black Atreyu shirt when I heard the front door open. Jeremy…and Nate?

“Dan?” Jeremy called out, confused by the sound of the tv.

“Yeah,” I called back lazily, not bothering to get up or move at all apart from turning the tv off.

Within 30 seconds Jeremy had vaulted the sofa, landing on my stomach. I groaned as the air left my body, Jeremy squeaking and jumping to his feet. Nate just doubled over laughing.

“Not cool,” I grunted, struggling to sit upright.

“Baby, I’m sorry! I didn’t know you were lying down!” Jeremy whimpered, apologizing profusely.

“Don’t worry about it,” I yawned, patting the seat next to me.

Jeremy gladly sat down, his fingers latching onto the hem of my t-shirt as I turned to face Nate, who had now composed himself. Ass.

“I was just going to drop these off because I gave Jeremy a lift home from work, but seeing as you’re here I’ll explain them to you. Ash can’t decide which style, size and color of table covers he wants for the reception, and wants your opinion. Apparently it’s crucial and he’s stressing over it,” Nate explained, rolling his eyes gently.

I raised my eyebrow, but nodded.

“Yeah sure, I’ll take a look and give them to him tomorrow,” I smiled, taking the pile of papers he handed to me.

“Thanks man. If you weren’t helping Ash, I swear I’d go crazy,” Nate chuckled.

Yeah, you owe me. I’m the one that’s going crazy. Nate left pretty soon after that, and Jeremy started kissing my neck as soon as the front door was shut. Mm that feels good…

“You look stressed, babe,” Jeremy purred, nipping my lobe.

“I am,” I moaned, tilting my head back.

“Then let me take care of you,” Jeremy smirked, straddling my waist.

I groaned as he ground his hips against mine, and went to grab his ass when I realized I still had the papers in my hand. Shit.

“Jeremy, not now. If I don’t look through the table choices then I’ll forget,” I sighed, moving him off of me.

“Oh, okay,” Jeremy sighed, curling his legs under his lap.

I chewed my bottom lip, feeling a bit guilty, but I can’t let Ash down. I just can’t.

“What kinds of designs does Ash like?” Jeremy asked, peeking over my shoulder.

“Nothing with frills or pastel,” I asked simply.

“That’s not very specific,” Jeremy chuckled.

“That’s just what he likes,” I replied, this time with a little more bite.

“What about…”

“Jer, can you please stop? I need to get this done,” I interrupted, trying to be polite.

Jeremy fell silent, which I was grateful for. Why doesn’t he understand that a) I need to do this and b) I don’t feel comfortable talking about Ash with him?

“Why don’t you like talking about Ash when we’re alone?” Jeremy asked curiously, playing with a lock of my hair.

I winced as he basically repeated my thoughts, and just shook my head, Jeremy dropped his hand back into his lap with a pout.

“Just don’t,” I mumbled, continuing to flick through the pages that Nate had given me.

“But why? I thought you two are close friends,” Jeremy frowned.

“We are. Drop it,” I grunted.

I don’t want Jeremy to know about my past with Ash. That will not end well in any case.

“No, not now you’re getting defensive. Why don’t you feel comfortable talking about Ash with me?” Jeremy persisted.

I growled and slammed the pages down on the coffee table, making Jeremy jump slightly.

“I already told you I don’t want to talk about it,” I said through gritted teeth.

“Is it because you used to have a crush on him?” Jeremy asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Jeremy…”

“Is it because he’s getting married to Nate?” Jeremy pushed.

“Jeremy…

“Is it because he’ll never love you?” he asked further, now getting angry.

“JEREMY! SHUT UP!” I yelled.

Jeremy narrowed his eyes at me, clearly not happy with my outburst. Well sorry, but I’m not happy with him pushing me like that!

“You will never understand how I felt for Ash, okay? Never. So do yourself a favor and just drop the subject,” I said as calmly as I could, although I was desperate to scream at him.

“Are you only dating me because I have blonde hair and blue eyes like him?” Jeremy asked, ignoring me.

“Dear Lord, you just don’t get it, do you?” I laughed humorlessly, standing up.

“What’s there to get, Dan? All I can see is that if Ash ever ditched Nate and decided he wanted you, you’d drop me without a thought,” Jeremy sneered.

“Don’t you dare accuse me of that. You think our 7 months means nothing?” I hissed.

“How am I supposed to know? You won’t talk to me about anything,” Jeremy retorted childishly, throwing his hands up in the air.

“That’s because I know you’ll have a hissy fit over it and react like the bitch you are!” I shot back, glaring at him.

“So there is something that I should be jealous over?” Jeremy said bitterly.

I rolled my eyes, running my hands through my hair as anger coursed through my veins. There’s one thing that controls me, and that’s my pride. And Jeremy’s just wounded it.

“You know what? Fuck this, I don’t need your shit right now,” I scowled.

“Fuck you, Dan. Fuck. You,” Jeremy spat, standing up too.

“You wish sweetheart,” I scoffed.

As I stormed into our bedroom, my head span with what just happened. How the fuck did a discussion about table covers turn into an argument with me leaving?! And what the fuck am I meant to do now?! With a groan, I stuffed a few t-shirt, clean boxers and socks into a duffel bag. I’ll have to just wear these jeans for a while until I sort out whatever the fuck just happened. I grabbed my leather jacket and camera and walked towards the front door. I caught sight of Jeremy out the corner of my eye, looking shocked that I was actually leaving.

“W-Where are you going?” Jeremy demanded, curling his hands into fists.

“Fuck knows, but it’s not here,” I muttered, grabbing my car keys and house keys.

“$10 you’ll go to Ash,” Jeremy said bitterly, mostly to himself. But I still heard.

“And what if I do, huh? What if I do?” I asked angrily, fed up with his attitude.

“Then don’t bother coming back,” Jeremy warned.

I grit my teeth, unable to push past my anger and pride, and opened the front door. I winced at the sound of Jeremy whimpering, but ignored it. He’s the one in the wrong, not me.

“I hope you enjoy dreaming of Ash moaning your name, because you’ll never have either of us,” Jeremy said furiously, his eyes ready to overflow.

I paused for a second, before turning to face him, a hard expression on my face. Fuck him. He wants the truth? I’ll give it to him.

“That’s where you’re wrong. Ash and I have had sex, and he fucking screamed my name,” I said coldly, a mocking smile on my lips.

And with that I slammed the door shut behind me, leaving Jeremy standing in our living room shocked, tears pouring down his cheeks. Fuck my life.