We're Writing Our Own Rules

The next morning when I walked into my office at work, I was met with a frowning Ash. Oh wonderful.

“I-I know you had an argument with Jeremy. Dylan told me you crashed at his because you’d left,” Ash blurted.

“So much for secrecy,” I muttered, placing my camera and my leather jacket on my desk.

“What was the argument about, Dan? When Nate saw you yesterday he said that the two of you were fine!” Ash pouted.

“Ash, I really don’t want to talk about it, okay? I don’t ask you about every aspect of yours and Nate’s relationship, so don’t ask about mine,” I said sharply.

I just can’t deal with anyone questioning me right now, especially not Ash. Especially not when Ash will make me crumble. Especially not when I know he’ll be upset that the argument was about him.

“O-Okay,” Ash said sadly, walking back over to his own desk.

Well that went well. Not. I tried to avoid Ash for the rest of the day, but it was inevitable when he came into the office during our lunch break and shut the door behind him.

“I can’t deal with this anymore, Dan. I need to know what happened! You’re meant to be one of my best friends – I just want to help!” Ash said firmly.

“You can’t help, Ash. This is between me and Jeremy,” I said through gritted teeth.

What does he not get about this?!

“Jeremy told Nate what happened, but Nate said that you need to tell me, not him,” Ash said quietly.

I could’ve growled at that. Of course Jeremy told Nate. That’s just fucking perfect.

“Look, Dan, I’m not trying to make you mad. I just know that you’re crazy about Jeremy and one little fight shouldn’t cause a break-up,” Ash said simply.

“Don’t be a hypocrite, Ash,” I sighed, looking up at him wearily.

Ash’s lips pressed together in a thin line, making me pinch the bridge of my nose. I don’t need Ash angry at me too.

“I appreciate the concern, but I really don’t want to talk about it,” I said as calmly as I could.

“Either I find out from you or I find out from whatever Nate tells me,” Ash snapped.

I narrowed my eyes, both of us knowing he crossed the line.

“Fine. The fight was about you. I don’t like talking about you with Jeremy because it makes me uncomfortable. Jeremy confronted me on it and I didn’t want to tell him about our past because I didn’t think it was necessary, but he kept pushing and pushing until I flipped out on him. I told him we’d slept together and stormed out. I haven’t spoken to him since,” I rambled, glaring at Ash when I’d finished.

Ash’s face crumpled, making me wince. Shit.

“Y-You’re fight was about me? Because of me?” Ash whispered.

“Ash, no, it wasn’t like that,” I mumbled weakly.

Ash’s eyes filled with tears and he shook his head, before leaving our office. I groaned and flopped into my chair, closing my eyes. This is not how I planned my day to go.

*

Four days later I’m still crashing at Dylan and Geoff’s. I’ve decided that tomorrow morning I’m calling in sick to work and I’m going to get my own apartment. Not only have I overstayed my welcome here, but Geoff’s got a new girlfriend and I know I’m making it awkward. Right now it’s only me and Dylan in, and he’s in the kitchen while I’m sitting on the sofa just staring at the wall. I’ve been doing this for a few hours now, completely blanking out Dylan’s attempts at conversation. I don’t want to talk to anyone.

The doorbell rang, Dylan walking quickly to get it. Fuck knows who it is. I heard footsteps coming towards me but I didn’t turn my head to look. Whoever it is will reach me soon enough.

“You’ve been causing a fair amount of chaos over the past few days,”

I looked up to see Nate standing next to the sofa, arms folded over his chest and eyebrow raised. I ignored him, looking back at the wall. He’s the last person I want to talk to. When Nate realized I wasn’t going to talk to him, his expression formed into a scowl.

“You know I have a legitimate reason to kick your ass, right? First of all making Ash feel like he’s the blame of something that he’s not and therefore making him miserable, and for breaking the heart of my best friend,”

I swallowed heavily at that last statement, forcing back the tears that were stinging my eyes.

“Jeremy started it,” I muttered, still not looking at him.

“I don’t believe that,” Nate shot back.

“Like you’ll believe anything I say anyway!” I retorted, glaring at him.

Nate’s expression softened slightly when he saw how hard I was fighting not to cry, and he sat down next to me, turning to face me.

“Look, I don’t know what happened from your side of the story, but I do know that you fucked up big time. And I can’t have the two most important people in my life being miserable because of you. So fix it,”

I looked away from him again, this time down at my hands. Nate doesn’t know the hurtful things that I said to Jeremy. Nate doesn’t know the hurtful things that Jeremy said to me. Nate only knows what he’s been told and he’s clearly already decided that I’m in the wrong. Fuck him.

“What if I can’t?” I whispered eventually.

“You can fix this, Dan. You just have to apologize to Jeremy, that’s all. Ash will come around, but Jeremy needs to hear it first – he’s falling apart. Badly,” Nate sighed.

“He said some really horrible things to me, and I said some stupid stuff that he will never forgive me for. It can’t just be fixed with an apology, trust me,” I replied sadly.

“You never know until you give it a try,” Nate insisted, his voice now filled with a little anger.

“And you don’t know what happened so how can you say that?!” I exasperated.

“DANIEL FUCKING MCKERRALL!” Nate shouted, making me flinch, “All I know is that Jeremy’s a wreck and he’s practically gone insane because of this argument and I can’t stand it anymore. So you either go over there and apologize willingly or I’m going to drag you there myself,”

I stared at him for a few seconds, trying to figure out if he was serious. By the way his nostrils were flared and his fists were clenching and unclenching, I’d say that he’s deadly serious.

“Dan…” Nate trailed off in warning.

“Fine, I’ll fucking go over,”

“Good, let’s go then,” Nate said triumphantly.

“Now?!” I yelped.

“Geoff’s got a hot date and Dylan’s coming with me for coffee – so it’s your choice if you want to listen to dirty rampant sex or not,” Nate smirked.

I grimaced and grabbed my leather jacket, following Nate quickly to his car, where Dylan was already sitting. He offered me a weak smile, to which I nodded. I should probably be grateful that he called Nate over, but I’m not right now. All I can think of is how fucking scared I am that Jeremy won’t even talk to me, let alone let me into the apartment. Before I knew it Nate had parked directly outside the front door of my dreaded building, both him and Dylan staring at me.

“I don’t want you leaving until you’ve worked this out with Jeremy,” Nate said seriously.

“But what if he won’t even talk to me?” I whined.

Nate rolled his eyes and leant towards me. I froze, not understanding what he was doing, but I yelped as he simultaneously opened the car door and kicked me harshly in the ribs, making me fall out onto the sidewalk. Nate and Dylan drove away laughing, making me scowl at the disappearing vehicle. Fuck, he really is an asshole. With a sigh I looked up at the building next to me, my front door key in my pocket really starting to weigh down. I’ve got to do this. I can’t back out now. Who knows, this may be the last time I see Jeremy? Without any more hesitation I walked up to the front door and slowly slid my key into the lock, turning the handle as softly as I could. When the door clicked open, I winced but pushed it far enough for me to slip inside and shut it behind me again.

“W-Who’s there?”

I almost whimpered at how broken Jeremy sounded. I tried to open my mouth and reply, but I just couldn’t. No movement came and no sound was produced. I just stayed frozen in my place. I heard padding footsteps, and bit my lip when Jeremy stuck his head out the kitchen doorframe. He looked terrible. Unwashed unkempt hair, black circles under his eyes, practically translucent skin…fuck, he looks like I feel…he looks like he’s been through hell.

“Baby…I-”

“DAN!” Jeremy shrieked, interrupting me.

My eyes went wide as he ran towards me. What the fuck is he going to do?! I whimpered as Jeremy leapt at me, but I caught him in my arms regardless, and he instantly wrapped his legs round my waist and his arms round my neck. I laughed in surprise as he pressed rapid kisses all over my face – this was the last reaction I’d been expecting!

“Jer, calm down, please,” I said softly.

Jeremy whimpered and leant backwards slightly, fear filling his eyes.

“P-Please don’t say you’ve only come back to get your stuff! Please, you can’t! I won’t let you! Please Dan, you can’t leave me!” Jeremy wailed.

“Woah, baby, I’m not going anywhere. I-I came to apologize. Nate came to see me and told me how bad you’ve been, and I felt so guilty,” I explained gently, cupping his face with my hand.

But Jeremy moved away from my touch, dropping his legs to the floor. Oh for fuck’s sake, what did I say now?

“So you only came back because you felt sorry for me after Nate told you my sob story? Not because you wanted to?” Jeremy asked sadly, clasping his hands together.

I sighed and pinched the bridge of my nose. What am I supposed to say to that?

“You weren’t going to come back at all, were you?” Jeremy asked quietly.

“It wasn’t at the top of my list, no,” I muttered, knowing I couldn’t lie to him.

Jeremy whimpered, tears filling his eyes.

“If you didn’t want to be here, then I don’t want you here. If you couldn’t come back willingly then I don’t want you back here at all,” he said angrily.

“Hey, I could’ve told Nate to fuck off, couldn’t I? I could’ve scoffed in response to your story. I could’ve carried on with what I’ve been doing all week!” I defended, “But I didn’t – I’m here. I came here didn’t I? Doesn’t that count for something?”

I stared at him, breathing a little heavier from my rant, Jeremy just chewing his bottom lip as he contemplated my words.

“I-I guess that does count for something,” he finally said, looking at me shyly.

A small smile crept at the corner of my lips for the first time in 5 days, and I found enough confidence to walk towards him and cup his face in my hands.

“Where’s that self-assured sexy man that I met 7 months ago? This isn’t like you, Jer. You’re not yourself,” I said softly, stroking his cheekbones with my thumbs.

“7 months ago my heart wasn’t in the hands of a man that could break it. You could break me so easily that it scares me, Dan. I’ve never been like this with anyone. Ever,” Jeremy replied, his bottom lip trembling.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry, please. I would never break your heart, not on purpose. I shouldn’t have said those things about me and Ash, and I shouldn’t have reacted so badly when you were just trying to help me. I’m sorry, and I hate that we’ve been reduced to this. Maybe I was right, maybe moving in together after only 6 months was a bad idea,” I frowned.

“Y-You want to move out?” Jeremy choked.

I dropped my hands, running one of them through my hair.

“I don’t know, Jeremy. I don’t know what to do anymore,” I replied honestly.

In a split second Jeremy had launched himself at me, knocking me to the floor with him landing on top.

“You’re not going anywhere, that’s what you’re going to do. You’re staying here with me!” Jeremy growled.

“Uh, Jer, you’re kinda scaring me right now,” I said nervously, looking up at his pale face.

Jeremy’s face crumpled as his mood changed and he sat upright, letting me sit upright too.

“I-I’m sorry, I just c-can’t be without you. I’m sorry for every stupid thing I said about Ash and I’m sorry for overreacting. I’m losing my mind, Dan, and you’ve only been gone 5 days. I’m completely useless without you,” Jeremy whined, clutching at my leather jacket.

“If you want me to stay, I’ll stay. But we’ve got to learn some boundaries,” I said softly, brushing his hair out of his face.

“Okay,” Jeremy replied instantly.

“Well I’m glad you thought that over,” I said sarcastically, only being playful.

Jeremy giggled and pressed a short kiss to my lips, moaning when he pulled away. His blue eyes connected with mine for a split second before he’d crashed our mouths back together, desperately kissing me in a way that he hadn’t been able to for nearly a weak. And all of a sudden it was like a switch has been flipped. All I could think about, all I want is to finally make this relationship intimate. I want us to go all the way, and I want it now.

The passion and force in this embrace caused me to moan into his mouth, a buzz of excitement spreading through my veins. This is unexpected, but feels so good. Everything became a blur after I started kissing back, Jeremy’s tongue wrapping around mine, his hips grinding and his hands tugging on my hair. This heat between us was almost unbearable, but I’d be damned if I’d let him stop. I won’t lose him. I can’t lose him, not now.

Jeremy suddenly broke away, breathless but with a devious smirk on his face. Now this is the Jeremy I know.

“I think I need a shower. Care to join me?” he asked innocently.

I couldn’t scramble up from the floor fast enough. Jeremy grabbed my hand as we ran into the bathroom, quickly slamming the door closed as I turned the taps on to a decent temperature. As I pushed my leather jacket off, I felt his eager fingers unbuttoning, unzipping and pushing off my jeans, his hot breath ghosting over the forming bulge in my boxers as he helped me out of the clothing.

“Don’t you fucking tease me,” I growled.

Jeremy smirked and slammed his lips back to mine, our skin flush against each other. Within seconds we were each stripped of our clothing, our lips meeting for one last searing kiss before we stepped under the hot water. Instantly, everything seemed to slow down. As water cascaded down our bodies I took the time to take in every curve, every outline, every muscle, every dimple, and every inch of skin. As my fingers traced patterns along all these aspects of my boyfriend’s perfect body, I could feel his heartbeat speeding up insanely, a light blush coating his cheeks as he smiled shyly.

“You’re acting like you’re a virgin,” I chuckled, brushing his wet hair from his face.

“It feels like I am. This intensity is all so new to me, and I’ll be damned if I don’t admit that I’m nervous. I want you to make love to me, Dan. No foreplay, no teasing, no prepping, just love,” Jeremy said softly.

Now it was my turn to blush, especially when Jeremy placed his hands on my hips and pulled them towards him to meet his own, our erections colliding in a friction that made me moan unintentionally loudly.

“A-Are you sure?” I managed to stammer.

Jeremy leant up and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, smiling up at me.

“Yeah, I’m sure,” he nodded.

I couldn’t help but grin as he wrapped his legs around my waist, my tip pushing lightly against his entrance. One last look for confirmation, and I slowly entered, trying my best not to hurt him when all I wanted to do was pound him into oblivion. This was worth the wait. This was so worth the wait. Jeremy whimpered at the pain of stretching, so I waited patiently for him to tell me to move, placing light kisses into his neck while I waited. When he wiggled his hips I grinned and kissed him deeply, lifting his hips up before thrusting back into him, a loud groan tearing from his throat.

From there on I was lost in a haze of bliss. The endless thrusting, Jeremy clawing at my back, our moans filling the steamed room, intense pleasure coursing through my blood, my hips snapping against his, the water running over us mixing with our sweat. Jeremy’s eyes half-lidded in ecstasy, him screaming my name as he came over our torsos, me roaring his name as I shot my load inside of him. We collapsed into the bottom of the shower, the water running over us as we fought to catch our breath. When I was composed enough, I pulled out of him, pulling him tightly into my arms as he rested his head in the crook of my neck. That was…incredible. Breathtaking, amazing, beautiful, perfect. Just like Jeremy.

“I love you. I love you so fucking much,” he breathed, dragging his fingers through my hair.

I almost squealed as those words tumbled from his lips. I never thought the three words he just said would ever affect me so much, but he just proved me wrong.

“I love you too. I don’t want to fight with you like that ever again,” I said softly, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

“Well, if I can get a pounding like that as a result…” Jeremy trailed off teasingly.

“Shut up or we can go back to not having sex at all,” I grumbled playfully.

Jeremy’s eyes widened and he quickly pressed his lips to mine. Well that erased all thoughts from my head.

“We should probably get out now,” I mused.

Jeremy chuckled and stood up, helping me up with him.

“Mm we probably should. I heard that kitchens are great for sex though,” he said innocently, turning the water off.

“I heard desks were too,” I added, grabbing us each a towel.

“And don’t forget a double bed – they’re meant to be all kinds of hot kinky fun,” Jeremy grinned, pulling me towards him so our hips molded together.

I laughed and pressed my lips to his, holding him tight against me. I don’t know much about anything, but what I do know is that as of this moment I can’t live without Jeremy King. And I’m okay with that.