Adolescent

Jimmy sat lazily on his bed, a large bottle of Jack Daniels gripped tightly within his fingers. He was hunched over and only silence filled his home. Dread and regret circled around him, making any other presence upset and sorrowful. His face was swollen and red with tears. He wiped down his face and groaned inwardly.

Soft, but persistent knocking came at his front door, echoing through his living room and crawling up his stairs to his ears. His head tilted slightly in the direction of the noise, but he only washed down his sorrow with a swig of alcohol. Whoever was at the door held no importance to him; he could care less anymore.

Brian’s words still echoed in his mind like a pestilence through a town. He was regretful in trying to do any good in his life. He would never forgive his demons for taking over. He would never forgive himself for letting them. The knocking came again, but this time it was much harder.

Jimmy looked up at the door when he heard voices calling his name. Despite what his mind was telling him, his body did the opposite and he walked toward the door. He stopped at the top of the stairs and raised his full hand. He stole another sip from the bottle, wiping his mouth with his forearm.

“Who is it?!”He slowly came down the stairs, but the knocking refused to stop.”I said who is it?!”

“Open the door!”The voice sounded familiar, but he couldn’t place it.

Many things went blank in his mind. He fell back into his earlier depression and refused to do anything but befriend any sort of alcoholic beverage he could find.

“Jimmy!”It was so familiar.

He unlocked the door and grabbed the handle. With a slow, painful turn, he pulled the door open. Behind it revealed Matt, Zacky and Brian. His blank eyes instantly grew cold and angry.

“What do you want?”Zacky and Brian’s eyes fell to the bottle in his hands.

“You were right.”Zacky frowned.

“Dude,”Brian began.

“The fuck is he doing at my house?”Jimmy growled.

“He came to apologize.“Zacky said.

“This is ridiculous, Jim. You’re going to lose everything so quick.”Matt frowned.

Jimmy starred the guys down blankly, clutching the bottle tighter in his grasp. He was clueless; confused. What exactly were they talking about? He felt like he had lost touch with humanity for years. He hadn’t seen the sun in days.

“Can we come in?”Zacky asked.

Seconds passed by before Zacky’s words went through Jimmy’s mind. He nodded slowly and stepped aside, allowing them to step through. Matt eyed down the Jack in his hands and sighed softly. Everyone made they’re way inside, taking a seat where they felt most comfortable. Jimmy leaned against the wall, the bottle resting against his hips.

“What’s going on?”Jimmy looked up, his eyes red and stained from the days of crying.

‘Jimmy,”Brian stood from his seat and walked over to him.”I can’t make this crystal clear. I can’t make you understand. I can’t,”

He brushed his hair back with both hands and growled lowly. Why was Brian angry?

“Can you just,”He pointed to the bottle and looked up at Jimmy.”can you put the bottle down, please?”

“You can tell me whatever you need to say with this fucking bottle in my hand.”Jimmy’s eyes narrowed in annoyance.

“Jimmy,”Matt glared.”please.”

“Continue.”He sipped heavily from the bottle and urged Brian on.

“Everything I said.”He frowned.”Everything I did. I’m sorry. I can tell you a million times and I wont be able to get it through to you like I want to. I’m sorry Jimmy. I didn’t mean what I said. I apologize for going after you. Hillari needs you, especially now. You need her.”

“We need to talk to you about her too, Jim.”Matt stood now, watching Jimmy carefully.

“Go on.”He gripped the bottle tightly, feeling slightly angry they were bringing her up.

“She found us out, Jimmy.”Matt sighed.”As much as you hate it, I tried to get her to call you.”

“Why?”He growled lowly.

“Jimmy,”Zacky walked over, closer than Matt and Brian dared.”don’t be angry. She was upset.”

“She thought you were using her for the media.”Matt said.

The Jack in his hands clanked against his floor, spilling the rest of it’s contents. The room fell eerily silent, making the guys swallow hard. What was Jimmy’s next move? Was he going to snap? He was always tempermental when he went to drinking. He was slightly unpredictable at times.

“What?”He looked up, his eyes glazed over with tears once more.

“You need to get in touch with her, Jimmy.”Zacky frowned.”I know it’s been a while. I know after your fight with Brian things turned down, but you can do this.”

“Just, let us take the drinks. Everything you have that has alcohol, Jim.”Matt said.

“We can help you. I promise I’ll keep my mouth shut. I promise I will respect you and your opinion on things, Jimbo.”Brian whispered quietly.

“What do I say to her?”Jimmy’s arms fell to his side.

“Anything you want. Set up a lunch date.”Matt said.

“Maybe we can have a barbeque. Have her meet everyone.”Zacky smiled.”Just so she knows she welcomed in everyone’s arms.”

The guys grew shocked as the corners of Jimmy’s lips pulled up into a small smirk. He was starting to look up at things; just slightly. He knew he had to call Hillari and speak to her over everything. He wants her to know that she is actually loved and not being used. He would have had everyone know about the situation by now if that was what she was for.

He wanted her to get to know the guys and be comfortable with them. He wants to be able to meet up with her any time of day and be able to kick back and talk. He was going to make sure she knows that she is respected one hundred percent. Matt took his small smile as an okay to remove his alcohol.

“Where is it all?”He asked.

“Bedroom. Kitchen cabinets. Under the sink and in the bar downstairs.”Jimmy stated softly.

“Thankyou, Jimmy.”Matt smiled.”You’re doing a good thing.”

“I know.”He finally looked up fully, letting his eyes grow warm and hopeful.

“We’ll take care of the drinks. Just get your phone, get yourself together and call your little girl.”Zacky said.

“You’ll do good, dude.”Brian patted his back before walking into the kitchen.

Matt and Zacky went in opposite directions to retrieve anything he may have hiding. Jimmy grew proud of himself, knowing he could hold back faster than normal. Not because of him, but for Hillari’s sake. He tried to think over and over again what to say to Hillari; was she going to freak out and scream?

Was she willing to ever speak to him again? Would she ever want to meet up again? Jimmy cupped his hands over his face and chuckled quietly to himself. He felt better, only slightly. The muscles in his stomach tensed up at his soft chuckle, making his smile grow larger. It had been a while since he laughed, even if just a little.

Jimmy circle around and went up his stairs, feeling the aching in his legs. He managed to find his bedroom door and swing it open. Zacky had just finished collecting Jimmy’s vast amount of bottles before he stepped out. Jimmy scratched the back of his head, wondering where his phone was placed last.

He searched under his bed, through his blankets and under his pillows, but couldn’t find his cell phone. With an aggravated groan he slammed his hands down on his bed. With one last thought he checked the top of his dresser, feeling slightly happy when he had his phone in his hand. With a nervous sigh, he went down his contacts.

He cleared his throat and with shaking fingers, pressed send on Hillari’s name. He swallowed hard before stating, “Please, answer.”