Adolescent

My glasses gripped at the tip of my nose, threatening to fall off with every head movement I made. I was slightly aggravated and tired, but slightly hungover from last nights party. It was fun and all, but I hated the morning after. I brushed my hair back with my hands and started to form a ponytail, but quickly gave up.

I was in no mood for fun, no mood for people, no mood for anything, really. It wasn’t like me; I never acted this way, even on my bad days. I shoved my hands into my hoodies pockets and glared down at my empty desk. I was in one of those moods and I just wanted to sleep the day away.

I pulled my hood over my head and stood from my seat, snaking my sneakers on in seconds. Maybe a walk could clear my mind or just put me at ease. I felt like a knot was tied in my chest, refusing to let me expel any of my sad feelings. It was heart wrenching sometimes and I never knew why.

Everyone has had those days where they just want to sit at home and cry. Cry for nothing, cry over a loss, just cry because they know there’s that built up stress, anger and sadness that’s tearing at their flesh, trying to rip out of them. That was how my body was feeling and I couldn’t switch my mind off of it.

“Hillari!”My head turned toward the door and in a swift movement my glasses fell from my nose.

I swung my hand around and caught them, feeling the crunch underneath my pressure. I opened my clenched fist and sighed, feeling slightly disappointed that I couldn’t at least catch them easier. Maybe dad could fix them for me.

“Yeah, mom?!”I fell onto my bed and waited for a simple reply.

“Come down stairs for a minute!”I let my head drop and sighed involuntarily.

I didn’t want to talk about anything and my parents were going to know something was up. The only problem was, I didn’t know what to tell them. I should be excited; I proved my odd feelings for Devin last night, I had fun and I saw Ariel, the girl I haven’t hung out with in a long time.

But there was no use to it. I just couldn’t be happy. I lazily dragged my feet across my carpet and played with my broken frame. I eventually made it down stairs and found both my mom and my dad in the living room, watching a muted tv. I looked over at them and stuck out my hands, showing my broken glasses.

“How the fuck did you do that?”My mom chuckled.

“They fell and I caught them wrong. Dad, can you fix them?”I sat in between them.

“I probably can. You might look weird until we get you a new pair though.”He said.”You okay? You didn’t jump through? I’m expecting the obnoxious landing, my coffee spilt on me, something.”

“Yeah.”I stated.”I feel weird.”

“Sick weird?”My mom asked.

“No, just weird.”I looked up as my dad pulled my broken glasses from my hand.

“Well, we need to talk to you, Hillari.”My dad placed my glasses on the table and sat back in his seat.

“Go ahead,”I was waiting for a cruel statement about how wrong I’ve been, but that was never really my parents style, if you may.

“You know the fact that you were adopted when you were a baby.”My mother began.”You accept that, right?”

“Of course I do. I don’t really count myself as adopted, mom.”I whispered softly.”You guys are my parents in my eyes.”

My dad’s face fell slightly and a small smile came to his lips. He was so happy to know they had raised such a loving, fun daughter. They knew I would tell them anything, no matter how bad it was. Both of my parents knew that I told them anything and made sure they knew about it first.

When my dad looked up, only tears welled in his eyes. He swallowed hard and I could almost see the lump flow down. What they had to say was most likely hard, but I was sure I embraced myself for it one hundred percent. My mom grabbed his hand and smiled warmly.

“We’re the luckiest parents in the world, Hillari.”He said softly.”I’m so happy that we chose you to be our daughter. I couldn’t be happier.”

I couldn’t help but let a smile crawl onto my lips. I knew he loved me like we were blood, he was more than that to me. He was my father and she was my mother. Nothing could change that in a million years, even if it came down to the worst.

“What do you guys have to say?”I sucked in a deep breath.

“We got you from Ponds Formal Church in Huntington Beach, Hillari.”My father said.”They called us today.”

My heart jumped into my throat for a second. Why would they be calling my parents? A million thoughts began to rumble through my mind, making my mood worsen by much. I began to breath heavy and both my mom and dad looked at me fearfully. Did they want me back?

Was this just a very long stay in a foster home? I had only one year left before I was a legal adult. They couldn’t do this to me now, it just wasn’t possible. My dad grabbed my hands and looked into my eyes, calling my name softly. When he received no answer, however, he shook me.

“Hillari!”I realized that as I began to breath heavily, I held my breath.

I let in a fresh breath of air and looked him in the eyes.

“Are they taking me back, dad?”It was so painful; too painful to say again.

They’re eyes welled up in tears and my dad gave a warm chuckle. The gentle laugh sent shivers down my spine, but in a good way. That action told me right away I was thinking the worst.

“I wouldn’t anyone lay a hand on you sweetheart. They would need the whole army to take you away from us.”It felt as if my shoulders slumped and a world of relief hung over my head.

“We just want to let you know that they called to tell us someone was looking for your information.”My mom said.

“My information? What’s my information?”I was quickly growing confused and I wanted some answers in lamen’s terms.

“Your adoption information.”My mom continued.”Someone called asking about your adoption information.”

“Who would want that?”I scoffed.

As far as I knew, no one knew that I even existed. My mother passed away when I was a baby and I had been given to caring hands. My father, however, was the unknown man in the picture.

“Well, sweetheart,”My mom turned away and rubbed down her face.

Silence filled the room for a few seconds and I swallowed hard. The news was going to break and I could only think of one person that would want that special information. My dad looked up and stated, “Your biological father is seeking you out. He wants to know your whereabouts.”

I clenched my fists in my dads hands; it was out of natural anger that suddenly flowed through me. I couldn’t explain why I was so angry suddenly. I never got angry or upset. I was always to fun loving and crazy. I pulled my hands from my father’s and starred down at my feet.

“Are you alright, Hillari?”My mom whispered.

“I’m okay.”I looked up, wondering why my day just happened to get better and better.

“We didn’t allow the church to pass on your information. We told them we would get back to them as soon as possible with an answer. We wanted your opinion on it first.”An angry smile flew through my face.

Maybe I was angry because I had spent seventeen years being held out on by my real father. Maybe I was upset because he didn’t bother until this very moment to try and contact me. Did he want money? Did he want something from me at all? It was a bucket of questions that no one could answer but him.

“I’m going for a walk,”I began.

“Hillari,”I cut him off like he had me.

“But I’ll be back shortly. I need to think about this.”I stood from the couch and looked down at my broken glasses.

They shined softly in the dimmed light and something clicked in my head; everyone sees things through a different perspective. Our eyes are like a pair of glasses. I saw my real father as a burden at the moment, but he could see me as an opportunity to reconnect and become a family.

All I know is is that if we took off our glasses, we would see the same. We would be able to understand each other. That was why I was so angry and confused. I couldn’t bare to take off my glasses to see what my real father wanted from me. I wasn’t able to remove my glasses and find out what it would be like.

To find out what it would be like to see through someone else’s view. I was confused because I saw things my way and my way only. Within the next few days I needed to learn how to take my glasses off for a second and be able to understand things through my father’s point of view.

I knew already that it was going to be a troublesome ride.