Anaesthetic Heart

A feeling of empty space was hanging in my chest and a sharp taste gripped the sides of my dry mouth. It was fear. I didn't know if I was awake or asleep, I felt like I was in between; suspended in nothing yet held up by something, a pressure and weightlessness. And the only thing I could see was black, but I could feel my own eyelids pushing down in heaviness. I could feel my chest rising as deep shaky breathes filled me, and I could feel the way my shoulders were resting flat against something, was I laying down? I felt movement near me, but I wasn't sure what it was. Or if it was even there, maybe my foggy mind was playing tricks. Then I could feel something gentle and warm next to my ear, it was something breathing. "Oh please, baby girl, wake up." The gentle voice was whispering in my ear, and I could feel the owner's forehead pressed against mine, "Please baby." Then it struck me, the voice was feminine and soft, a high soprano. The voice belonged to my mother.

"That's enough now, Auden. I think you should go downstairs." A much deeper voice spoke quietly, the words sounding clipped and forced out.

My mother's forehead left mine, and I could feel her move away from me,"Oh really now, Marcus! She's my daughter too!"

"And you're the one who did this to her," My father's voice was low, and he nearly growled out the words. Wait, what? My mother did this? I could hear my mother huff angrily, and stomp her way out of whatever room I was in. I heard longer strides, more confident and relaxed coming towards me. The bed I now realized I was laying on dipped beneath a weight, and I knew my father had just sat down by my side. His voice sounded choked, "I'm so sorry, Danielle. I never meant for this to happen."

Suddenly my stomach lurched and I jolted up in bed, my eyes popping open as I chucked the contents of my stomach all over the wood floor. I squeezed my eyes shut as I continued to convulse, and I could feel two separate pair of hands instantly around me. I could feel strong hands rubbing my back as they placed something beneath me. Another pair was pulling the blankets from my hips and holding back my hair.

"It's okay, Danny. Just breathe." I could hear Mack's voice beside my head, as more hair was brushed from my face and my stomach convulsed again.

I could feel a few tears slide down my flushed face, "The bathroom, I need the toilet," My words were weak as I held my stomach in agony and kept my eyes closed, "Please." I begged, my stomach clenching again.

A pair of thick arms slowly slid around me, one under my legs the other around my back as I was gently cradled against a very broad chest. The smell of earth was comforting, as I peaked my eyes open to see the scrunched up face of my father, his eyes dark with concern and lack of sleep. Behind him, I could see the dark brown tones of his master bedroom, and Gran cleaning up my mess on the floor. I tightened my arms around his neck, as I felt my stomach contract again and I fought the urge to get sick on my father's shirt. I slowly felt myself being lowered down, and opened my eyes to see the toilet and tile floor in front of me. I scrambled out of my father's arms, grabbing the edge of the toilet seat and allowing myself to be sick. I felt someone pull my hair back, and the sink running.

"Is she okay? Danielle, are yo-" My mother's voice came from the direction of the doorway, but she was cut off my father yelling at her to get out. I jumped from the loud sound, but was grateful not to have her there.

"Sorry," My Dad whispered in my ear, rubbing his hand in soothing circles on my back. I just nodded as I heaved again, feeling relief and disgust as no more came out. I continued to dry heave for a couple more minutes before relaxing back onto my knees, gripping my stomach and resting my head on the cool tile. "Anything else?" My Dad murmured in my ear, patting my back gently. I just shook my head no and crawled towards were he was kneeling against the wall, right beside the toilet. He laid his legs flat and I crawled into his open arms.

"What's happening to me?" I choked out, tears in my eyes as I looked up at the dark face of my Dad, anger and pain deep in his eyes.

"Just take a minute to catch your breathe, we'll explain when you're ready." My Dad answered, moving the sweaty locks of hair out of my face.

"We?" I asked confused, and for the first time looking around the small bathroom to see all the people. Gran was leaning on the sink with her back to me, but her face contorted in sadness was clearly visible in the mirror. Mack was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, his hands gripped tightly together and his face down. Lizbeth was standing in the doorway, worry clearly written across her face, and shaggy red mop of hair that I recognized as Faron was standing behind her. Suddenly, my mother had pushed her way into the washroom.

"Yes, all of us." She said, her thin lips held tightly, and her still youthful face tight with concern and guilt. Her blonde hair was unusually pulled back into a tight ponytail, and her blue eyes were rimmed with red.

"Now is not the time, Auden." My Dad growled, his voice aggressive and low as he tightened his arms around me and cradled me closer to his chest.

"Now is the perfect time Marcus," Another low voice spoke, as I heard footsteps rounding the corner. A tall, medium built man with shortcut blonde hair and piercing green eyes entered the room, "Hello, Danielle." My Step-Father smiled down at me, his eyes looking slightly cruel.

"Cibrian," I breathed, cringing towards my father. He tightened his grip, then stood up abruptly with me still wrapped in his arms. He gently gave me to Mack, who enveloped me in a tight hug while sitting me on his lap.

"I've had just about enough of you two!" My Dad roared, his voice loud and deep. Mack held me tighter to his chest, as confusion filled me. Lizbeth and Faron quickly moved back from the doorway and Gran rushed over to the bathtub were we sat, placing her hand on my shoulder protectively. "Mackenzie, I would like you to take Danielle to my bedroom please. I would like to see Cibrian outside." His voice rang with authority, and the formality in his voice scared me to my core. I could feel Mack nod as my father stormed from the room pushing Cibrian out as he went.

Slowly Mack pulled me to my feet, "Can you walk?" He prodded gently, his voice close to my ear as he held me tightly by the waist. I nodded, and tried to talk a step forward. I felt my knees begin to buckle, and gasped as I began to fall. But Mack quickly grabbed me under the armpits, and turned me back to face him, "Here you go, Danny." He frowned a little, as he gently swung me up into a bridal carry. His arms gentle and strong, as he left the bathroom and headed down the hallway to my father's room.

He placed me down gently by the edge of the king sized bed and as I slowly crawled into it, I could hear yelling from downstairs. "What's happening?" I said, my voice quiet as I began to pull blankets up around me.

"Danny, you've been unconscious a very long time and there is a lot you need to learn." Mack's voice was extremely soft as he climbed into the bed over the covers, pulling me close to him as he bundled me tighter. I turned my face towards Mack and stared into his dark eyes. He had shadows beneath them, and his hair was extremely mussed.

"And you will learn it when everything has settled down," a very calm voice spoke from my opposite side. I turned quickly to see Gran standing by the edge of the bed, her hair down and messy and her eyes lined from lack of sleep.

"Gran," I breathed, pulling away from Mack to let her hug me. The calming sent of lilac overwhelmed me, as she hugged me closely to her body. I could feel how tense she was, her body rigid as she held onto me as if she wished to never let go. I pulled back slowly, "Gran, how long have you guys been looking after me? You all look like hell."

"Danielle," Gran's voice was hushed, "You've been out cold for eight days straight now."

"What?" I half gasped, half choked out. Eight days?