Family Man

I stared at my stomach, running my hands over it again and again, trying to feel something.

A baby?

I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Could TJ and I handle a baby?

Of course we could. We wanted this, didn't we?

No, we couldn't do it.

Yes we could.

Was a bipolar disorder part of the whole pregnancy thing?

I frowned, leaning my head back and closing my eyes, taking a few deep breaths.

I wanted to tell my husband that we were going to have a baby, but he wasn't home. He wouldn't be home for a few days. I sighed. Was this a sign of how the future of our family would be?

Sure, I could deal with him being gone when it was just the two of us. But with a child? How would they deal with their father being gone so often? How would I deal with watching my child deal with their father being gone?

I wanted to scream, but then the phone rang and I heard TJ's custom ringtone flood my ears.

Hey baby, this phone call means I'm calling you, which means I'm not with you where I should be. I love you though, and remember, we decided that's what counts. I love you, wait did I say that? You should pick up the phone now...

I was now smiling as I picked up the phone.

"Hi, Teej."

"Why do you always take so long to answer?"

I bit back a grin. "I like your ringtone."

TJ chuckled, and I was amazed at how he still gave me butterflies.

"I love you, Teej."

He was silent for a moment before replying, "I'm sorry I'm not home, baby girl."

I sighed. "Not as sorry as I am."

"That makes me feel so much better."

"I'm sorry. I just love you so much, I wish you could be here with me all the time. But I know the team needs you more than I do..."

"Hey," TJ said, his voice lowering. I had hit a weak spot, and I instantly regretted it. "You know you mean more to me than anything. I'd retire early if you told me to, you know that."

"And you know I don't want you to do that. I'm just being selfish right now, Teej."

"I love you," he said quietly after a moment.

"I love you too, Timmy. Always."

"Always," he repeated firmly.

***
I heard the front door open and I ran down the hall, kicking off my slippers about halfway to the door because they were slowing me down. It was 6:00 in the morning, but it's not like I had slept much anyway. I turned the corner and my heart nearly exploded as I saw the love of my life standing in our doorway. He turned away from hanging up his coat as he heard me, and a grin spread across his face as I ran towards him. He picked me up and I wrapped my legs around him, burying my face in his neck.

"Hi," he laughed. I pulled away and kissed him, running my fingers through his hair. "Did you even sleep?" he asked as we made our way back to the bedroom, hand in hand.

I shook my head and crawled into bed, waiting impatiently until he pulled off his shirt and crawled in next to me. He wrapped his arm around me and leaned his head against the headboard, gazing down at me. He reached out with his other hand and grazed his knuckles against my cheek. I closed my eyes, relishing his touch.

I smiled as his lips found mine, and I couldn't contain myself, pulling away and blurting out, "We're having a baby."