‹ Prequel: I'm Scared
Status: Active!
Family Man
six
I sat on a chair in the kitchen at the wooden table with Travis perched on my knee as I ate a bowl of cereal. I had gotten one spoonful into my mouth and was trying to take another when he reached his chubby 4-week-old hands up and tried to take the spoon out of my hands. The cereal that was on the edge of the spoon fell on the floor, and I let out a groan. The loud noise scared the baby in my arms and he began to cry. I winced and stood up, walking around the kitchen and bouncing him in my arms. He finally began to settle down as I sat down with him on the couch, leaning back and closing my eyes. But the silence was not to last as the shrill tone of our house phone from the table beside me rang.
"Shh," I cooed, picking the phone up and holding it between my ear and my shoulder so that I could continue to hold baby Travis. "Hello?"
"Hey, baby girl, it's-"
"Hang on," I instructed, placing the phone down on the table and rocking Travis gently back and forth. I handed him his soother and picked up the phone again as his cries got quieter. "Hey, sorry."
"How's the little guy?" I bit back a sigh. TJ had been allowed 3 weeks off to help me with the baby, but he had gone back last week and was now away on a four-game road trip.
"He's okay. He's crying a lot, though."
"Are Ella or Jamie there?"
I tried not to get frustrated with my husband. I reached down with one finger and Travis wrapped his entire hand around it, causing me to smile slightly. "You know they both work at this time, TJ."
"Uh oh, you called me TJ."
I knew he was trying to joke, but I wasn't really in the joking mood. "Look, I don't really have time to talk. The baby needs to go lie down for a nap and he's crying and I have a headache..." I rubbed my forehead with my palm and switched the phone to my other ear. TJ was silent before he spoke again.
"Okay." I almost felt bad when I heard how dejected he sounded. "I'll go. Love you."
I hung up before saying anything back.
***
I lay curled up in a ball with Travis in the crib next to the bed. He was asleep soundly, but I couldn't get rest for the life of me. With the baby's sleeping and feeding schedule I usually snuck in sleep whenever he slept, but tonight, there was something else on my mind.
I had never not told TJ I loved him back. Well, I had, but only once when we were 20 and we went through a rough patch. But after that, it had become habit to tell one another that we loved each other. Especially while he was away. I knew I had just been bitter about being left alone with the baby, but I could handle it - I could. I just missed TJ and I was going through one of my emotional post-pregnancy stages where everything got to me. But he didn't deserve not being told that I loved him.
I glanced at the clock, willing the time to go faster. He would turn on his cell phone around 10:30, I assumed, when the game against the Rangers was over and he was done showering and changing, but I wasn't sure if he'd call me. I had to call him first.
The red digits on the face of the clock changed to 10:27 and I couldn't wait any longer. I picked up the phone and dialed, falling back against the pillows. I pulled TJ's oversized sweater closer to my body and listened to the dial tone go through. After four rings, I was about to hang up, when I heard his breathless voice come through the phone.
"Hey, Emma."
"Hi, Teej," I said quietly. He was silent, and I knew he had heard me using his nickname. It was a sure sign that I wasn't mad at him anymore.
"You're not upset anymore," he breathed.
I twirled the phone cord around my finger and sniffled. "Not at you, no. At the situation, maybe, but we've been through this before. I'm sorry," I laughed sadly. "I'm being stupid and needy and dependant again and-"
"Shh," TJ said softly. I closed my eyes and imagined his face on the other end of the line. "Em, baby, you're allowed to be needy and dependant. You're not stupid. Don't say that," he ordered gently. I sniffled again. "It breaks my heart not to be with you and Trav, babe, but I need to bring in the money."
"I should be used to this, shouldn't I?"
I could picture him shaking his head, his light brown hair flying everywhere. It was probably wet from his shower. I smiled at the thought. I had always thought he looked incredibly sexy with wet hair and flushed cheeks after a game. "No, you shouldn't. I mean, I would hope you wouldn't be. Not to sound selfish, but it's good to know you still need me." He laughed lightly.
"I'll always need you, TJ Oshie. Always and forever."
"And you, Emmaline."
I smiled, chewing on my bottom lip. I could hear his breathing throughout the phone. "Where are you, baby?"
"I'm walking back to the hotel."
"Are any of the guys there?"
"No, I wanted to talk to you."
"Look..." I paused, my breathing getting shaky. I tried to hold back the tears, but I could already feel them blurring my vision. "I wanted to say that... I'm sorry," I said, a few tears slipping down my cheeks. I wiped my nose with the back of my hand.
"Are you crying? Aw, Em, don't cry. What are you sorry for?" The concern in his voice was heartbreaking.
"I-I didn't..." I took a deep breath to compose myself. "I didn't say I love you when I hung up last time, but I do, I really do, and I'm sorry I was just frustrated and I feel so stupid because I always need to make sure you know I love you and just because you're away doesn't mean I hate you 'cause I don't I just miss you." I caught my breath, squeezing my eyes shut as more tears fell.
"Emmaline Oshie," TJ said firmly. "I can't believe you're beating yourself up over that. I know you love me, and you know I love you, right?"
I nodded. "Yes."
"So it's okay. The ring on your finger means that I'll always love you. And I have one too, remember? Remember that day a year or so ago?"
I laughed and wiped my eyes with my free hand. "I remember, Teej."
"You better never forget."
"I won't," I promised. I glanced down at the diamond ring and admired it, smiling.
"Are you looking at it right now?"
I let out a giggle. "Yes."
"That thing was expensive."
"TJ!" I burst into laughter and he joined me. There was a pause when we both settled down before he spoke up.
"It's good to hear that laugh."
I chewed the inside of my cheek. "It's good to be yours."
"I'm all yours, forever."
I closed my eyes and let out a sigh. I ran my hands through my long hair, which had long ago fallen out of it's ponytail. "Can you just fly here so we can fall asleep together? You can go back in the morning."
TJ laughed quietly. "You know I would if I could." He paused, and I heard a door click open. "I'm back at the hotel," he informed me. I nodded in response, staring up at the ceiling.
"I'm wearing your sweater," I said randomly.
"Which one?"
"The one you let me wear on our first date."
"Ah."
"Mhm."
"Do you want me to talk to you until you fall asleep?"
"Shh," I cooed, picking the phone up and holding it between my ear and my shoulder so that I could continue to hold baby Travis. "Hello?"
"Hey, baby girl, it's-"
"Hang on," I instructed, placing the phone down on the table and rocking Travis gently back and forth. I handed him his soother and picked up the phone again as his cries got quieter. "Hey, sorry."
"How's the little guy?" I bit back a sigh. TJ had been allowed 3 weeks off to help me with the baby, but he had gone back last week and was now away on a four-game road trip.
"He's okay. He's crying a lot, though."
"Are Ella or Jamie there?"
I tried not to get frustrated with my husband. I reached down with one finger and Travis wrapped his entire hand around it, causing me to smile slightly. "You know they both work at this time, TJ."
"Uh oh, you called me TJ."
I knew he was trying to joke, but I wasn't really in the joking mood. "Look, I don't really have time to talk. The baby needs to go lie down for a nap and he's crying and I have a headache..." I rubbed my forehead with my palm and switched the phone to my other ear. TJ was silent before he spoke again.
"Okay." I almost felt bad when I heard how dejected he sounded. "I'll go. Love you."
I hung up before saying anything back.
***
I lay curled up in a ball with Travis in the crib next to the bed. He was asleep soundly, but I couldn't get rest for the life of me. With the baby's sleeping and feeding schedule I usually snuck in sleep whenever he slept, but tonight, there was something else on my mind.
I had never not told TJ I loved him back. Well, I had, but only once when we were 20 and we went through a rough patch. But after that, it had become habit to tell one another that we loved each other. Especially while he was away. I knew I had just been bitter about being left alone with the baby, but I could handle it - I could. I just missed TJ and I was going through one of my emotional post-pregnancy stages where everything got to me. But he didn't deserve not being told that I loved him.
I glanced at the clock, willing the time to go faster. He would turn on his cell phone around 10:30, I assumed, when the game against the Rangers was over and he was done showering and changing, but I wasn't sure if he'd call me. I had to call him first.
The red digits on the face of the clock changed to 10:27 and I couldn't wait any longer. I picked up the phone and dialed, falling back against the pillows. I pulled TJ's oversized sweater closer to my body and listened to the dial tone go through. After four rings, I was about to hang up, when I heard his breathless voice come through the phone.
"Hey, Emma."
"Hi, Teej," I said quietly. He was silent, and I knew he had heard me using his nickname. It was a sure sign that I wasn't mad at him anymore.
"You're not upset anymore," he breathed.
I twirled the phone cord around my finger and sniffled. "Not at you, no. At the situation, maybe, but we've been through this before. I'm sorry," I laughed sadly. "I'm being stupid and needy and dependant again and-"
"Shh," TJ said softly. I closed my eyes and imagined his face on the other end of the line. "Em, baby, you're allowed to be needy and dependant. You're not stupid. Don't say that," he ordered gently. I sniffled again. "It breaks my heart not to be with you and Trav, babe, but I need to bring in the money."
"I should be used to this, shouldn't I?"
I could picture him shaking his head, his light brown hair flying everywhere. It was probably wet from his shower. I smiled at the thought. I had always thought he looked incredibly sexy with wet hair and flushed cheeks after a game. "No, you shouldn't. I mean, I would hope you wouldn't be. Not to sound selfish, but it's good to know you still need me." He laughed lightly.
"I'll always need you, TJ Oshie. Always and forever."
"And you, Emmaline."
I smiled, chewing on my bottom lip. I could hear his breathing throughout the phone. "Where are you, baby?"
"I'm walking back to the hotel."
"Are any of the guys there?"
"No, I wanted to talk to you."
"Look..." I paused, my breathing getting shaky. I tried to hold back the tears, but I could already feel them blurring my vision. "I wanted to say that... I'm sorry," I said, a few tears slipping down my cheeks. I wiped my nose with the back of my hand.
"Are you crying? Aw, Em, don't cry. What are you sorry for?" The concern in his voice was heartbreaking.
"I-I didn't..." I took a deep breath to compose myself. "I didn't say I love you when I hung up last time, but I do, I really do, and I'm sorry I was just frustrated and I feel so stupid because I always need to make sure you know I love you and just because you're away doesn't mean I hate you 'cause I don't I just miss you." I caught my breath, squeezing my eyes shut as more tears fell.
"Emmaline Oshie," TJ said firmly. "I can't believe you're beating yourself up over that. I know you love me, and you know I love you, right?"
I nodded. "Yes."
"So it's okay. The ring on your finger means that I'll always love you. And I have one too, remember? Remember that day a year or so ago?"
I laughed and wiped my eyes with my free hand. "I remember, Teej."
"You better never forget."
"I won't," I promised. I glanced down at the diamond ring and admired it, smiling.
"Are you looking at it right now?"
I let out a giggle. "Yes."
"That thing was expensive."
"TJ!" I burst into laughter and he joined me. There was a pause when we both settled down before he spoke up.
"It's good to hear that laugh."
I chewed the inside of my cheek. "It's good to be yours."
"I'm all yours, forever."
I closed my eyes and let out a sigh. I ran my hands through my long hair, which had long ago fallen out of it's ponytail. "Can you just fly here so we can fall asleep together? You can go back in the morning."
TJ laughed quietly. "You know I would if I could." He paused, and I heard a door click open. "I'm back at the hotel," he informed me. I nodded in response, staring up at the ceiling.
"I'm wearing your sweater," I said randomly.
"Which one?"
"The one you let me wear on our first date."
"Ah."
"Mhm."
"Do you want me to talk to you until you fall asleep?"
♠ ♠ ♠
finally!!