I Love You, You Were Ready

“Kassi?” I heard a familiar voice ask. I wanted to reply but I couldn’t find the words to speak. Jimmy proceeded to sit next to me. When I didn’t find the words to say hi or anything to acknowledge him he pulled me on his lap.

“Hun what happened?” He asked.

“H-e broke u-up wit-th me… i-I love him!!” I said crying even harder on his shoulder. After a few minutes of him rubbing my back and my steadying my breathing I calmed down a bit.

“Jimmy… I was going to give up collage to go with him. But he really didn’t give me the chance to tell him…” I finally admitted.

“Maybe if you go tell hi-“ he started but I interrupted.

“NO! He’s made his decision… I’ll just stay here in good ol’ Washington. Until one or the either comes back to me.” He looked confused about the last part but didn’t question it.

“He loves you…” he said.

“I know…” I whispered. Tears threatened to come out again.

“Then go for it. Go to him!” he said. I just shook my head no.

“I…I think we both know what’s best for us. Matt and I. and I think we both know that I need to move out of that house before you guys leave. I'm not going to stay there when me and him aren’t together no more…” I said nodding my head. But it was Jimmy’s turn to shake his head.

“Stop being difficult. I'm taking you with me.” He said. That’s when I stood up.

“No. I should go to college. I’ll be okay. It’s for the best really.” I sais turning to walk the other way. But Jimmy decided otherwise. He picked me up and took me to the direction of Matt’s house.

“Put. Me. Down.” I demanded. But no, he carried me all the way to the front door.

“Jimmy. I need you to take Matt out for a couple of hours tomorrow.” I asked standing in the door way.

“Why?” he asked confused.

“I need to pack and you know Matt won’t allow that. I can’t be in the same house as him right now.” I said.

“Fine.” That’s all he said before turning to the steps and walking home. He wasn’t happy with what I was doing. I wasn’t to happy either. And I wasn’t quite sure if this was the answer. But I won’t know if I don’t try.

I pulled out my phone and contemplated on who I was going to call. I needed somewhere to stay. I decided Leana would be my best bet.

“Hello?” she said perky as always.

“Lee… I need your help…” I said.

“Why? What’s wrong?” she asked concern running through her voice.

“Can I stay with you for awhile? Just a couple of weeks. I need to get a job and save up for my own place.” I said as my voice got shakey.

“Okay. Yes. Most defiantly. You can explain later. Call me in the morning when your awake.” She said. I agreed and we hung up. I felt my eye-liner running down my face and decided I should go wash it. In fortunately the only bathroom that I could access was across the hall from Matt and I’s room. But the made-up and my bladder told me otherwise.

I quietly made my way up the stairs. The door to Matt’s room was ajar. Quickly ran into the bathroom and closed the door quietly. I examined myself in the mirror and jumped. My eyes were red and puffy with black circles around them resembling a raccoon. I immediately washed my face. When the left over make-up was gone I relieved my bladder and opened the door. I peered around making sure Matt was no-where in sight.

When I was sure of it I stepped out. Of the door way. I looked at the door which Matt was behind. My heart told me to run in there and tackle him into kisses. But I held the urge back and decided to see if he was sleeping. I held my ear to the crack listening for anything.

And what I heard about ripped my heart into more pieces. Matt was still crying. I heard his sobs. My eyes filled with tears as well. I felt like I hurt him more than he hurt me. I stood there for another minute before I couldn’t take anymore. I went to the closet down stair and grabbed a big comforter.

I layed on the couch and fell asleep.

When I awoke I noticed I was in my bed. Which met Matt carried me up here. I looked around and saw a not.

Kassi,
Went out with the boys. I’ll see you when I get back.
I love you and always will.
-Matt

I jumped up and got ready. I didn’t bother doing my make-up I just changed. Once I changed I called Leana.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Hey Lee, I'm going to start packing. Will you now and help?” I asked getting my suitcase out.

“Sure. Val’s coming since she’s over anyways.” Leana said. I okayed it and we hung up. I went to the closet and got my clothes.

I heard the front door open and close five minutes later. ’Great’ I thought. Leana was here! I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

“Hey Lea-“ I said starting to turn around but stopped when I saw who it was.

“What are you doing?” Matt asked looking as though he was going t o cry any moment. But I had to stay strong and not fall apart right now.

“Leaving.” I stated going back to the closet for more.

“W-why?” Matt asked.

“Because Matt. I can’t just stay here. It kills me to see you and oh I dunno run up to you and kiss your or hug you or anything! I just can’t stay here when you’re in California and I'm here. I just can’t.” I said putting the clothes in the suitcase.

“Kassi… just stay. For me? I don’t want you to be out of my life.” He said holding me from behind. I shrugged him off and was about to speak but I was cut off by Leana’s voice.

“KASSI! I’M HERE!” she yelled coming up the stairs. Val wasn’t far behind.

“Matt the boys said they want you.” Val said as they entered the room. He turned to me.

“I'm sorry…” he said placing his lips on my forehead for a couple of seconds then leaving the room.

“That man is driving me nuts!” I whined covering my face with my hands.

“So what happened? Just last week you guys were completely fine.” Leana asked sitting on the bed.

I explained the whole situation with a few tears spilling.

“…Fucker…” was all leana said.

In the past 3 years I have fallen for Matt. And hard. Leana knew that. She was the one who was there for me when Matt and I went through the whole break-up make-up scene. But this wasn’t like the other break-up’s.
We finished up the packing and went down-stairs.

Matt was on the couch. Brian on his right, Zacky on his left. Johnny was on the chair and it sounded like Jimmy was in the kitchen.
I bit my lip and walked up to him. His eyes were red and puffy. I felt beyond guilty now. I fetched the house key out of my pocket and tossed it at him.

“There.” I said and turned to walk away.

“Are you going to at least come say good bye to us when we leave?” Zacky asked as I was almost out the door.

“When do you leave?” I asked trying not to look at Matt.

“Two weeks from now.” Brian piped in.

“Oh… yeah. I’ll defiantly be there.” I said smiling weakly.

“Let’s go Kass.” Leana said lightly pulling my arm.

“Kay… bye guys.” I mumbled and we shuffled out to the car.
We arrived at Leana’s 10 minutes later.

“Your room is the one across from mine.” Leana said smiling. I nodded and went to the room as fast as I could.

I decided I should send Matt a text. To explain myself.

Matt look… I left mainly because I'm still in love with you. And I have to separate myself form you to get over you. Your leaving in two weeks I was going to drop college just so I could go with you. But you dropped the break-up bomb on me. I always will and do love you That took a lot off my shoulders. I re-read it and pushed send when I was happy with it.

“Knock knock.” Leana said bringing in two cups of cocoa.

“Thanks” I said as she handed me one.

“So are you going to college?” she asked sipping on her cocoa.

“Well… I don’t know. If I don’t then I could save money and if I do I could get a good job. So it’s iffy right now, what about you?” I asked playing with a marsh mellow.

“Nope. I'm going to stay here for a bit then move to California. Jimmy literally got on his knees and begged for me to go.” She said dreamily. There was no secret that she liked that boy.

“Nice!” I said with my best smile. My phone then vibrated.

Matt:You never told me that… you can still come!! We can be together!! Please?

I sighed.

Me:No I can’t just run back into your arms after this!
I pushed send.

“Texting Matt?” Leana asked with a knowing look.

“Yea… He’s being.. complicated.” I answered opening my phone.

Matt:Things don’t have to be like this. Come on!
I laughed.

Me:Funny… the one who broke us up in the first place is trying to make it as nothing happened in the first place.

“Well Kassi. I’m going to go hit the hay. I’ll see you in the morning.” She said getting up. I got up and hugged her. And I as well went to bed.