I'm in Love With You, Are You in Love With Me Too?

It had been a little over a week after the party, after I had moved to Arizona. Nick was still calling me nonstop and now Kahlen and John were pestering me to talk to him. I was still debating it in my head. I knew that I still loved him, because I could not stop thinking about him. Every little thing would remind me of him and I would smile until I remembered what he had done. I tried to stop thinking about him but I just couldn’t. And I thought that I still wanted to be with him, I was pretty sure I did, but I didn’t want to just give in so easily. If it had happened once how could I be sure that it wouldn’t happen again?

I wanted to make sure that I could truly trust Nick again before we got back together, if we even did. I didn’t want to be paranoid that he was cheating on me. And I really didn’t want to think about if he had done anything else with that girl besides just kiss her.

I was sitting in my room, moping and thinking about what I was going to do when my phone rang again. I knew before I even looked at it that it would be Nick. I sighed and decided to actually answer it this time.

“Hello,” I said simply.

“Jordanne! Oh my god, thank you for answering. You have no idea how badly I want to talk to you. Please, can we just get together somewhere? I want to talk to you in person. Please?” he rushed out, almost as if he was afraid that I would hang up on him or something. And to be honest, the thought had crossed my mind.

“Where?” I asked, not giving him a yes or no answer just yet.

“Our coffee place?” he asked, referring to a cute little coffee shop he had taken me to when I first visited Kahlen in Arizona. I had loved it so much that he took me there almost every day I was in Arizona and he called it our coffee place.

“When?” I asked, continuing with my one word answers.

“Right now?” he said, sounding more like he asking than telling me.

“Okay,” I agreed with a sigh.

We both hung up and I got up to leave. I didn’t even get dressed, I didn’t really care. I threw on a beanie to cover up my hair that I hadn’t washed in a few days, and grabbed my keys before slipping on some flip flops and heading out the door quickly so Kahlen didn’t have a chance question me. I slid into the driver’s seat of my car and made my way to the little coffee shop.

I pulled up in the parking lot and sat in my car with the radio off, in complete silence, just waiting. I didn’t see Nick’s car in the parking lot yet so I just sat there and waited. I didn’t feel like being the first one in the coffee shop.

A couple minutes later I saw Nick’s car pull up and I grabbed my bag before getting out of the car and walking to the door. Nick got there at the same time I did and I didn’t know what to do. It was awkward between us, something that it had never been, not even when we first met. I just nodded as he said a quiet hi and walked in when he held the door open for me.

We sat at a table in the back and ordered our drinks before we said anything to one another.

“Thanks for coming. Thanks for actually talking to me,” Nick started.

I just stayed silent and waited for him to continue.

“Listen Jordanne, at the party… That girl that kissed me, she was my ex-girlfriend,” he began, wasting no time in trying to explain the situation to me, and so far it did not sound promising. “I hadn’t seen her in a really long time, and I wasn’t upset about it, but apparently she was. She asked to talk to me and I didn’t want to be rude so I agreed. I should have known something was up when she asked to go somewhere more private, but I had already started drinking and I guess I wasn’t thinking that clearly.”

If he was going to try and blame it on alcohol there was no way that I would be able to forgive him. But I stayed silent and listened to the rest of his explanation.

“So we were just talking and whatever, and then all of a sudden, before I even knew what was happening, she grabbed me and kissed me, and that’s when you walked in. That’s what you saw. I swear I didn’t want her to kiss me and I definitely didn’t want to kiss her Jordanne. I love you so much. I would never, ever do anything to hurt you or that would make me risk losing you.” He looked at me with a pleading expression on his face and he looked sincere.

I really, really wanted to believe him. I still loved him, I knew that I wouldn’t just be able to turn it off right away, but I was still hurt.

“You promise me that you’re telling the truth Nick? Because if I ever find out that you aren’t…” I trailed off, not even able to finish my sentence because I honestly didn’t know what I would do. I knew that I would be crushed, but I didn’t know if I could do anything to hurt him.

“I swear on everything and everyone I love that I’m telling the truth. I love you so fucking much. You have no idea how hard it’s been for me this past week, not being able to see you or talk to you or anything. We were apart for so long during the school year and I just got you back, finally being able to see your beautiful face and touch you again, and then I went and fucked it up. But I swear I won’t do it again Jordanne.” He reached across the table and set his hand on top of mine, rubbing it gently with his thumb.

“Okay,” I stated simply and I knew that I forgave him. I believed him. And I loved him too much to stay away. “I believe you.”

He stood up immediately and grabbed my face in his hands gently before placing his lips on mine. I kissed him back eagerly, happy to be in his arms again.

And I just had a feeling that things were going to be okay with us.