My Little Bubble , Needs To Be Popped

“John! Honestly, can you please just tell me what this is all about?” I asked, my voice on edge so I was already pissed at him.

“Just calm down babe, I promise this will make up for everything.” John tried to reason with me, his eyes still on the road but he reached a hand out to take mine.

I ripped my hand away from his, leaning away from him and against the car door. I’d been hanging out with my friend Amanda when John had come out of nowhere and picked me up despite my string of curse words and the struggle I put up with him. Don’t get me wrong, I still love the guy with all my heart but I was seriously pissed at him. We rarely got into fights, an occasional disagreement but that would only last a second. The fights we did have often go pretty bad but we always make up in the end. He knew why I was mad but not once had he apologized so why should I bother with him right now?

“Lily, you can’t stay mad at me…” John whispered quietly, making me turn to look at him for a moment before I returned my eyes to the barren Arizona desert land.

I was going to stay mad at him, the fact that he’d taken me and we’d been on the road for four hours now wasn’t helping him either.

“Damnit John! Just tell me where the hell we’re going!” I yelled, snapping around to him but he shook his head.

“No.”

I could see the reluctance on his face but I could also see that this was killing him. I could see that he wanted to tell me, wanted to turn around and apologize but he was holding back for some reason. I sighed and leaned back against the car door, closing my eyes and letting sleep overtake me.

When I woke up, it was to someone gently shaking me. A yawn left my lips before I rubbed my eyes and looked around, noticing that it was really dark out and I couldn’t see much but I could tell we were in the middle of nowhere practically. My eyes then moved to John who had put up the middle console and was now next to me.

“Are you gonna listen to me and not say anything till I finish talking?” He asked, placing a hand on my thigh comfortingly.

I bit my tongue to keep from snapping at him, nodding and just agreeing considering I was tired as hell and wanted to go back to sleep.

“Lily, I know I screwed up and I’m really sorry about it. I shouldn’t have gone to that party; I should have been with you. I know I can’t take back having forgotten our plans, for making you wait two hours, for coming to your house drunk but I’m hoping I can at least make it up to you and this is the only way I know how.”

I raised an eyebrow, not saying anything as John slid out from the car. Figuring I was supposed to do the same, I got out and stretched while John came around. He went to put his arms around me but I slipped away from him, crossing my arms over my chest. I ignored the hurt look in his face, reminding myself that I should be pissed at him.

“Close your eyes, I don’t want you see anything yet.”

For a moment I stared at him, not wanting to comply but eventually I gave in and closed my eyes, letting him take my hand and lead me off to wherever he wanted me to go. It took a while but eventually he put an arm out to stop me, moving so I could feel he was behind me.

“Alright, open your eyes.” He whispered in my ear, wrapping his arms around me since I couldn’t fight him off.

My eyes fluttered open and it took a moment for my eyes to adjust but once they did I saw what was in front of me, a gasp leaving my lips as my hand came up to cover my mouth. It was an act of shock at what was in front of me.

“I thought…I thought your parents sold the place…” I whispered quietly, my eyes roaming over the huge cabin.

“They couldn’t find a buyer so they decided to keep it. I’m gonna go get the car and pull it up into the driveway, you can go inside.”

John left after that, not pushing to kiss me or anything, and I waited until he was out of sight before I gripped the rail and climbed up the stairs. The porch had a rocking chair and a swing attached to the top of the porch roof, cute little pillows covering both of the chairs. Taking a deep breath I walked to the door and pushed it open, searching for the light switch before I found it and turn it on.

Sitting in front of me where two suitcases along with some duffle bags, realizing one of the suitcases were mine and a duffle bag was as well. The door opened and I spun around, looking at John with soft eyes till he stepped closer and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling myself up slightly so I wasn’t as short.

“How…” I couldn’t even spoke properly.

“Your mom helped me. I explained everything and she decided to help me out with getting your stuff. I know what I did was wrong so I figured if we spent our break out here; just the two of us, then it would make things easier. So…do you forgive me?”

Not a single moment of hesitation came as I brought my lips up to his and kissed him.

Heat was the first thing I noticed as I started to wake up, a groan leaving my lips as I shook the memory I’d dreamt of away. It was one of those memories that stay with you no matter what you do to get rid of them. The second thing I noticed was the sweat that I was covering me but I had a feeling it was because of the first thing. Third…well it oddly smelt of sex. I mean, that was strange considering yesterday I’d been hanging on the bus with the boys most of the time…then John came and mentioned a party. I remembered that specifically because Garrett kept looking at me like I was supposed to do something.

Right, because when John went to the bunks the guys started talking to me again about him. They’d wanted me to make an effort in being nice to him at the party and not act like a total bitch. Poor Pat kept saying he wanted to old Lily back. I hadn’t changed, I was mostly the same. Just a hardened version after what happened. Time had passes and then I woke John up, decided one night of being nice to him wouldn’t hurt and I felt like getting shit-faced. We’d gone to the party at The Summer Set bus and then things got wild…I don’t remember much after that.

So then why the hell did it reek of sex? Another groan left my lips as I finally opened my brown eyes, blinking blankly as my eyes adjust before I went to prop myself up but I stopped, my eyes widening. I was tangled up in someone, realizing just now that I was naked and if I looked to the corner of my eyes I could see my clothes in a pile.

Shit Lily, what the hell did you do?! More like, who the hell did you do?

I turned my head slowly, scared to see the face of the person I was tangled in bed with and a moment later I had to hold in my scream but unfortunately I sat up so damn fast that I hit my head on top of the bunk and ended up waking up John, cursing when he groaned and rolled over. I bit my lip as his own eyes opened and adjusted before he took a moment to look around and he seemed to come to the same realization that I had.

“Please…please, tell me we didn’t…” I trailed off, burying my head in my hands as some lame excuse to hide away from him, away from everything.

“Lily…” I felt a hand on my arm and a quiet scream left my lips as I lurched away from him.

“Don’t you dare touch me!” I yelled, jumping out with the sheets still hiding my body as I got dressed in the clothes I’d been wearing yesterday.

Quicker than ever before, I finished getting dressed and ran down the short hall to the main area, seeing people passed out all over from the party. Ignoring them I made my way to the door before I was stopped by Brian from The Summer Set.

“Hey, you okay?” He asked, his voice showing his concern.

“N-no….where is Garrett?” I asked quietly, looking down at the floor.

“He just left not too long ago to the bus since bus call is in an hour.”

I nodded in thanks before I dashed out from the bus and ran like hell to the bus that I was currently staying on. Tears had started to flow down my face and I didn’t have the time to stop and wipe them away. I’d told myself I wasn’t going to get close to him, that I wasn’t ever going to let him near me again but then I ended up in bed with him. The worst part was the fact that even though I didn’t remember the whole sex experience with him, I could feel the tugs in my heart. The ones that were telling me to go back to his arms, to let him kiss me, to tell him I never stopped loving him.

I threw opened the bus door, letting it slam shut as I raced up the short little steps and into the main area, straight into someone’s chest. I didn’t care who it was, I just broke down as I felt their arms encircle me, rubbing my sides soothingly.

“Lily, what’s wrong sweetie?” Jared asked, pulling me over to the couch.

I shook my head, burying my face in his chest as the tears fell faster and his arms just tightened around me. I stayed like that for the longest time before I sniffled and wiped my eyes, Jared handing me a tissue which I used before tossing in the little trash bin.

“You wanna talk about it?” He asked quietly, looking at me till he looked past me and toward the bunks.

“What the hell happened?” Garrett’s voice came out, making me turn around in Jared’s lap.

It wasn’t long before he was at my side and Kennedy followed suit with Pat. Should I even bother telling them? Would they let it go or yell at me? Why was I even considering not telling them?! These guys were there for me after John cheated on me, they didn’t like me leaving but they thought it would help and said they’d support me no matter what happened.

“Lily, you’ve gotta talk to us…” Kennedy said calmly, reaching up to wipe away a tear that fell.

I took a deep breath, letting it out shakily before I decided to get it over with. “You guys c-can tell…you know I s-still love John so much and it hurts like hell b-being close to him every day. I thought…I thought I could do it if I didn’t get too close to him but at the party last night...I guess we both drank too much and we ended up…”

“You two slept together.” Garrett finished for me considering I’d trailed off.

I nodded, holding back the sob that was threatening to break loose. “I woke up and didn’t realize it at first but when I figured out what had happened…it all came rushing back. That box that I kept so tightly locked up burst open and I can’t handle all the feelings that are crashing down on me.”

“Lily…if you love him so much then why don’t you just forgive him and be with him? It would make things so much easier for you.” Jared said, wrapping his arms around me since I was still in his lap.

“Because I can’t deal with it all again! Knowing that every time John goes to fucking drink or have fun he’s more than likely going to cheat on me kills me! It wasn’t just once, it was three fucking times and not once did he ever mention anything! If I hadn’t caught him that night then I could still be with him and he could have fucking cheated on me over and over and over again!”

I took a deep breath after my rant, the tears fully flowing once more and I didn’t bother wiping them away.

“Wait, he cheated on you three times?” Garrett asked, making me turn to look at him.

I nodded and I watched his eyes darken before I jumped in Jared’s lap and grabbed Garrett’s arm.

“Don’t do anything to him! Please…” I begged, waiting till he’d calm down before I let him go.

“He’s gonna be here soon…” Kennedy said with his eyes toward the front of the bus.

“I’m gonna take Lily to the back, we’re leaving soon anyway.” Jared followed shortly after, looking at me for confirmation which I nodded to show I agreed.

He picked me up and we headed to the back crawling into his bunk where I curled up into his side while we played games on his phone, getting into a heated match of tic-tac-toe. As much as I wished it would take away my thoughts, I knew it wouldn’t. John was still in the back of my mind and my heart was screaming to run out to him and jump into his arms when I heard the bus door open and close. I ignored it the best I could, focusing on the game I was playing with Jared as the bus started moving and we headed to our next destination.