My Little Bubble , Needs To Be Popped

Things were going well, it seemed like no matter what dark thoughts were trying to slip through John always proved himself better. In my mind, I kept thinking of these stupid little scenarios that would break us apart but none of them became reality and I was more than happy. I honestly felt like he’d changed and it was time to tell him about the baby. Today was the day I told myself I was going to make my decision and when I’d woken up, I’d already made up my mind.

“You’re seriously going to tell him?” Zoey asked with a smile on her lips as she walked along side with me.

“I really am. I think he’ll be in this with me and he cares so much.” I said with a goofy smile on my lips as I set a hand on my stomach even though I still wasn’t showing.

“You can totally see it, whenever his eyes are on you it’s like you’re the only one in the room to him.”

We both laughed before continuing on till we reached our destination and she went ahead to get herself food while I went to a table that was empty. Zoey joined me once again and we started talking about plans for the rest of the tour, trying to come up with a few crazy things to do before it all ended. We’d been in our own worlds when Kennedy and Jared sat down beside us, both of them staring at us for the longest time before we finally turned to them.

“What do you want?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yeah, you can’t just walk up to people and creepily stare at them.” Zoey added, making me laugh in the process.

Both boys seemed to open their mouth to say something but when neither of them spoke, I realized something was wrong. My eyes narrowed and I pushed up from the table so I was standing up.

“Are you gonna tell me?” I asked both the boys but they just looked at each other. “Fine, I’ll ask Garrett.”

Before they could say anything, I dashed out from the food area and headed toward the bus where I knew the rest of the boys were hanging out. I’d just opened the door when I looked behind me to see that Jared and Kennedy were quickly making their way over which just made things worse. I had to know what they were hiding.

I hopped up the few steps to get onto the bus, smiling when I saw Garrett, John, and Pat all sitting there much like how I’d left them an hour ago. When my eyes landed on John, I couldn’t help the feeling that came over me. It was a happiness I’d been missing in my life for such a long time, I was so happy to have it back. I walked over to my boyfriend, leaning down to kiss him before I pulled away and turned to look at Garrett.

“Can you help me with something?”

“Yeah, sure.” Garrett answered, already knowing that I wanted to talk.

I’d been heading back to the door when Kennedy and Jared walked in so I glared at them before I headed down the little steps and outside once more. As soon as Garrett was past the door, I pulled him along away from the bus.

“Alright, tell me what’s going on.”

“What do you mean?”

“Kennedy and Jared came up to me and Zoey like they wanted to say something but they didn’t so I know something is going on. Tell me.”

“Lilly, nothing is going on.”

“Why are you lying?”

“I’m trying to protect you.”

“From what?”

“The truth!”

I stared at him for the longest time, just standing there before I looked down and put a hand on my lower stomach. He pulled me into a hug, resting his head on top of mine before he pulled me away slightly so he could look down at me again.

“I want you to do what’s best for you and your baby. Just continue on like nothing happened and you’ll be fine.”

“I need to know what’s going on Garrett.”

All he did was give me a look and I knew I needed to shut up. Maybe it wasn’t even that bad, maybe it didn’t even matter all that much. I was just going to have to let it go and not bother with trying to figure it out anymore. I trusted that the boys would tell if something really bad was going on, if something could jeopardize everything so I was willing to put this to the side.

Shaking my head, I pushed past him and walked back onto the bus, going straight to John where I sat down in his lap and curled up. I sighed contently and just let my mind wander as he wrapped his arms around me. I felt so safe but knowing that something was going on…it was driving me insane.

***

Another bit of throwing up, thankfully when no one was around, I’d decided to get dressed in something a bit more…dressy. I was wearing only shorts and one of John’s shirts and since all the bands were sitting around and sharing stories; I figured I should wear a little more. Grabbing a pair of black skinny jeans, a blood red tank top and a white jacket, I quickly got dressed before I tossed my dirty clothes into my bunk with the rest.

My hands held onto John’s shirt as I walked over to his bunk and set it down so he would have it for whenever he did laundry but I stopped when I spotted something. Forgetting about the shirt, I tossed it aside on his bunk and grabbed the little balled up piece of paper. Slowly, I unfolded the little strip of paper, my eyes reading the words that were written across the white paper.

Instantly, I could feel the tears beginning to form as the slip of paper fell from my fingers. John had cheated. After everything, he’d just gone and done the same damn thing to me! This time was different. This time, everything meant so much more and he’d just shattered my heart completely. There wasn’t a bit of hesitation as I walked out from the bus and headed toward the huge circle of people chilling in chairs. I slowed down, the anger boiling in me as I spotted John sitting with the rest of our friends.

He probably wasn’t even going to bother telling me that he’d cheated once again. He was probably going to act like everything was perfect but he had another thing coming for him.

When I reached everyone, I pulled a smile on my lips and played the part of the happy girlfriend as I strode over toward my boys, Zoey, and John who were sitting next to The Summer Set crew. An idea started to form, one that would not only let John know that I knew his little secret, but it would also let everyone know just the kind of person John really was.

“I’ve got a story to tell.” I said with a cheerful smile as I looked down at John since I was standing beside him.

“Oh really, care to share?” Jess from The Summer Set asked, making me happy that she did ask that.

A smirk pulled on my lips as I stepped in front of John and a bit toward the center of the circle so everyone could hear me.

“A couple years ago, I was this crazy teenager who was stuck in her own little world and didn’t really care about anyone else. All I wanted was to get out of the crazy town I lived in and live up my life. But that all changed when I met this guy, he was…a character. Totally crazy like me, wanted to have fun all the time, but he was really sweet and I fell in love with him.”

I paused, turning around to see John smiling, thinking this was going to be a happy story. All my boy’s thought so but I could see that Zoey knew better and so did Garrett who was begging me with his eyes not to go any further. I knew he just wanted me to have someone to raise the baby with; he was worried I’d be alone but I wouldn’t and I refuse to stay around John. He’s nothing but an asshole.

“Turns out, John’s a total douche bag.” I could see a few people turning to look at John whose smile dropped instantly but a lot of people were still focused on me.

“He cheated on me, not once, not twice, but three times. I only knew about one, the one that made me move away and live my own life. He didn’t even bother mentioning the other two times to me. John broke my heart, he took the love I’d given him and completely destroyed it. Now, couple months ago I go the job offer to co-manage his band, only I didn’t know it was his band at first. When I first came here, I hated John. I hated seeing his face; I hated seeing him every single day. But somehow…”

I had to pause again because I could feel my heart breaking inside me. “Somehow he managed to get me to fall in love with him all over again. I tried to resist but something about him just makes me weak in the knees, makes my heart race faster, and I just feel completely at home when I’m with him. After one crazy night, we ended up together again and you know what? I missed being with him. He was so sweet and such an amazing boyfriend to me but there’s a saying…one that I’ve come to realize is true. Once a cheater, always a cheater.”

I glared straight at John, my eyes watering as I walked toward him till I was right in front of him.

“Its funny, how I convinced myself that he’d changed but nope. I guess I don’t satisfy him enough. I hope Courtney was good in bed John.”

I spat the last bit at him before I stopped off an away from everyone, knowing that I’d probably left a lot of confused and mad people. I didn’t care. I was sick and tired of playing into John’s games!

“Lilly, wait!” I heard, stopping right by the bus and turning to see John running toward me.

“Don’t you dare say a word to me! I trusted you! You made me believe you’d changed but you haven’t! You’re still the cheater you once were and you know what makes this time worse? I’m fucking pregnant with your child! Yes John, that crazy night led to us having a kid and I thought that if I gave you time, you’d prove yourself. I can’t believe that I was actually going to tell you today that I wanted us to raise this baby together! That’s not happening now. You will never see this child nor will you ever see me again!”

Turning on my heels, I pulled out my cell phone and called a cab before I marched on the bus. To make sure everyone stayed out, I locked the bus door before I went to my bunk and packed all my crap up, making sure I had everything. I didn’t hesitate this time in giving John his crap back, except the hat. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t give that back to him so I just stuffed it into my duffle bag.

Headlights flashed into the bus and I saw the cab waiting outside so I grabbed everything and headed off the bus. The driver came out and helped with getting my stuff inside before he got back in the car and I got into the back seat. John was missing, I wasn’t surprised that he’d run off. He never cared. Why should he start now?

“Where to?” The driver asked, looking back at me for a moment.

“The airport.” I said while looking out the window as the cab past everything.

On the drive there, I went on my phone and bought myself tickets back to New York before calling Benji and telling him I was coming home after spilling everything that happened. Two hours later, I was sitting on a place high up in the sky as I looked down at the world that I was leaving behind. I didn’t want to deal with it anymore, I was going back to New York and I planned on raising this baby by myself with the help of Benji.

If I could help it, John would never come near my little family ever again.