My Little Bubble , Needs To Be Popped

My lower lip had dropped slightly in shock while my brown eyes went wide as I stared down at him. Seeing John here was enough of a shock but to hear those two words leave his lips, that was the most shocking thing I’ve ever heard in my life. For as long as I’ve known John, he never seemed like the type to be into commitment. I knew when we were together in high school that we could have possibly gone on for years but I never figured him to be the type to actually settle down. The whole cheating thing proved that fact furthermore but here we were, John on his knees begging for me to come back before he goes and asks me to marry him.

At first instinct, I wanted to jump at him and say yes. I knew I was always going to love John no matter what I did and I knew we could possibly be perfect together but I didn’t want to keep ending up hurt. The more I thought about it, the more I was completely unsure about what to say or do. I looked around to see a crowd of people watching us with careful eyes, those who were listening were on their toes waiting to hear my answer. Even the security guards who’d been chasing John had stopped and were watching us carefully. Finally I looked back down at John as I reached up to wipe the tears once again since they were falling again.

“John, I…” My voice broke and my breathing was getting too quick for me to actually concentrate on the words I needed to say.

My mind suddenly dropped me into a memory from high school, one that I’d forgotten about.

A giggle broke from my lips as I rolled over and peered over the edge of the soft bed I was laying on. John was just sitting there, his eyes staring up at the ceiling like they had been since he came into the bedroom and just plopped down on the floor. Something was on his mind but he couldn’t seem to get the words out from his lips.

“You okay?” I asked, temped to drop my ass on his stomach just so I’d know he was still alive.

John didn’t move his eyes from the spot his was staring at but he did make a subtle sound which really didn’t give me much of an answer. Rolling my eyes, I sat up on his bed and then plopped right down on him where he was laying on the floor, straddling him instantly.

“That could have ended in disaster, babe.” John finally spoke, running a hand along the skin of my thigh.

“I landed on your stomach, not near your precious jewels.” I retorted while leaning down so my hands were on either side of his head against the floor before I kissed the tip of his nose.

“Now, mind telling me what’s wrong?”

I really didn’t think he was going to bother with telling me considering we’ve been at his house since school ended which was three hours ago and he hadn’t really said more than four words to me. At first I thought I’d done something but he had still been kissing me the same and holding me the same.

“I was talking to Garrett earlier…he said you ran off to the field and skipped your last two classes. Its bothering you, isn’t it?” His voice was quiet and his eyes finally moved down to look into mine while his thumb ran soothingly along the skin of my thigh still.

Unsure of what to say, I shrugged my shoulders. I was avoiding the truth that the words people were passing along were hurting me. John had a reputation when it came to girls, one that certainly never consisted of a girlfriend. The girls he was always with were simply ones to add to the notches on his bedpost but I was different even though they didn’t believe so.

“Lily, talk to me…” John whispered, pushing my back so I was back to sitting on his lower stomach and he was able to sit up slightly.

“It bothers me but more so because I want them to believe that this is more than just sex.” I muttered, shaking my head before climbing back on John’s bed.

It wasn’t long before he followed me, lying next to me and playing with my hands that were in between us.

“Fuck them. As long as you know that this is more than what they think doesn’t matter. You’re my girl; you’ll always be my girl.”

“That’s talking in terms of forever, JohnOhh.” I said with a smirk, knowing he wasn’t big on talking about the future.

“You have doubts that I can’t settle down?”

I laughed before responding. “Do you think you can settle down?”

John stared at me for a long time, his brown orbs staring into mine before he leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine. It was a soft and sweet kiss, nothing but our lips meshed together with slow movement. John was always sweet when it came to us being intimate, even if it got fast and fierce it still had sweetness to it somehow.

Finally he pulled away, but only to peck my forehead before actually leaning back to his original position so I could actually see his face again.

“I think I wouldn’t mind adding you to the O'Callaghan family.” He whispers with a smile on his lips.

“Lily O’Callaghan, that’s got a certain ring to it.” A laugh left my lips before I sat up at the sound of the front door opening and closing.

“They weren’t supposed to be home for another hour.” John groaned, pulling me back down but I knew it was going to be time for me to leave soon enough.

“John, what are you doing?” I asked after a few minutes since he’d started nibbling and kissing down along my neck.

“Nothing…” He mumbled against my skin before turning me in his arms so I was lying on top of him.

The look in his eyes was all too familiar.

“Your parents are in the house!” I tried to reason, already blushing as he went back to kissing down my neck.

“O’Callaghan men like to have fun with their woman.” John simply said with a smirk before kissing me.

A whine left my lips but John quickly kissed them to shut me up, pulling away a moment later. “Miss Future O’Callaghan, shut up and let me have my way with you.”

Reality surfaced around me and I was back in the airport, John on his knees in front of me with everyone watching us from a distance. Shaking my head, I took one of John’s hands and pulled him up before setting my bags down. Without saying anything, I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled myself up to his height so I could whisper in his ear.

“I love you more than anything in the world and marrying you would be the most amazing thing but right now, I’m so confused and unsure of things.” I pulled away and let go of him but I didn’t move my eyes away from his. “Give me time.”

As much as it pained me, I grabbed my bags and continued on toward the gate that I needed to go through to get onto my plane which was boarding. I hadn’t even walked but a couple of steps when tears just started streaming down my face but I didn’t stop as I just showed the lady my boarding pass before going onto the plane. I didn’t bother looking back; I knew I wouldn’t be able to go if I had.

John was the world to me but when you’ve been cheated on four times by the same guy, you have to think about what you’re getting yourself into. That’s what I was doing and I was taking into fact that I’d have to raise my baby with the chance of things going completely wrong once again.

Months Later

“I’m so fucking fat!” I whined out in front of the mirror, a smile still on my lips though I was fat as could be.

“You look fine, get dressed so we can go.” Benji murmured from behind me, making me look at him with narrowed eyes.

Showing was definitely no problem for me right now considering I only had three months left before I’d be popping out a little baby. I’d been good about what I’ve been eating, going to my doctor appointments, and just making sure everything was perfectly fine. I hadn’t bothered with finding out the gender of the baby though, figuring it could just be a surprise.

“Have you thought of any names?” Benji asked as he handed me a random t-shirt which I pulled on over me.

“If it’s a boy, I’m going to name him after John. If it’s a little girl, I’m not quite sure…maybe Serenity or Madeline.” I answered after a moment.

Benji nodded as he grabbed my cell phone for me and handed it over so I could shove it into my pocket. We headed toward the front door of the apartment and out the building before going down into the street. My best friend helped me into the passenger side seat of his car since it was somewhat hard for me but eventually I was in and he walked around before starting the car. I knew he was worried about this whole thing but I knew for sure that everything was going to be fine.

“Are you sure about this?” He asked, looking at me for a moment.

“Completely.”

It was quiet the rest of the drive till he pulled up to the curb where I was supposed to be meeting another friend of mine. I saw his somewhat taller figure leaning against a lamp post but as soon as he saw me, he came over and opened the door.

Soon enough I was in Garrett’s place, lying on his couch while watching the television with bored eyes. The boys were in town for a couple of days since they had a show and Garrett was really the only one I was willing to see. My favourite friend came over, setting down a plate of food on the coffee table for us to share before he put his hand on my belly, wanting the baby to kick.

“The baby has his energy. I feel like I’m always up all through the night.” I muttered with a smile as the baby kicked along Garrett’s hand.

Seeing him squeal in amazement was the funniest shit I’ve seen in a long time. I was starting to miss everyone by hanging out with him.

“Have you made a decision yet?” He brought up, looking at me before looking back down at my swollen belly.

“You want me to be honest?”

He nodded, actually leaving my belly alone and staring at me with curious eyes. Through the months that I’ve been back at home, we’ve talked about what happened very little. When I called him the first time and mentioned everything that happened, Garrett was just as shocked as I had been but he said I’d made the right decision in leaving to think about things. After that, we’d dropped the whole subject about my decision and simply talked about life, the baby, and sometimes how John was doing. As far as Garrett was concerned, he was a miserable mess.

“If he came up to me and asked me to come back to him, even to marry him, I’d say yes.”

“What made you decide that?”

I paused, taking a bite of the sandwich sitting on the plate before I spoke. “The fact that he did ask me to marry him is what really pulled me more toward that. We both know John well enough to know that he doesn’t joke about things like that on a whim nor would he rush into a decision like that. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him and the way he makes me feel. Despite everything that’s happened…he’s the only guy I could ever see myself with.”

“So why won’t you go talk to him and tell him what you’ve decided?”

That was where the problem was. I couldn’t seem to get up the courage to talk to him or even ask Garrett to talk to him. I kept feeling like after everything he’d just be pissed at me for having left that day at the airport.

“I don’t know…” I shrugged before asking a question that had been on my mind. “Do they know I’m here?”

“Yeah, even John knows. He wanted to come but I managed to keep him from actually barging into my place.”

I smiled in thanks before looking at the time on a clock hanging on the wall. Benji would be here in a bit to pick me up so I knew I needed to get my things together. Garrett sensed that same thing and helped me up from the couch before embracing me, giving me a long hug as if I was going away forever. I knew it wouldn’t be long before I saw him again.

“Would you be pissed if I hinted to John that he needs to get his ass to you as soon as possible?” He asked while walking me over toward the door.

“Not at all but make sure you don’t tell him I’m gonna give in easily.”

“You want him to work for it?”

“I want him to show me the John that I fell in love with so long ago. Just because I love him, doesn’t mean I’m gonna just go weak in the knees when he comes and say yes right away.”

Garrett laughed, rolling his eyes slightly. “You always did like making John chase after you.”

I kissed his cheek in a goodbye before heading out right on time since Benji was waiting in the car. It wasn’t long before we were driving along the route we needed to get to the store I wanted to go. With the baby coming in just three months, I knew I actually needed to start shopping since I’d been procrastinating on that. It was a bit of a long trip thanks to traffic but we made it and Benji parked as close to the front as he could before stopping the car and getting out.

He came around and helped me out of the car before I waddled into the store and left my friend to grab a cart. We’d spent some time looking for the right car seat before moving on to a stroller. There was a bit of an argument over the type of stroller but it was quickly deflated when I brought up the fact that he shouldn’t make a pregnant woman mad.

A few more things were added along the stuff before I started looking through the clothes, knowing I had to get unisex colors.

“What if we went with a couple of purple outfits?”

“Purple is not a guy color Lily.”

“Then if my child is a boy he’s gonna be a gay boy.” I said with an innocent smile as he rolled his eyes at me but kept a smile on his lips.

“Good day, could I help you two at all?” A saleswoman asked, coming from around the corner.

“Not really, I think we’re doing pretty well.”

“Alright then, I’ll just be around if you need help. When are you two going to be proud parents?” The curious glint in her eyes caught me before her words sunk in.

“He’s not the father. The father is busy being a musician.”

She nodded and left instantly, leaving me wanting to strangle her with the look she’d given me. Benji managed to calm me down by reminding me about the outfits for the baby. I went ahead and got some cute purple ones as well as yellow and green. I didn’t bother buying much clothing wise since I could always buy more when the baby comes and I know just what gender my child really is.

After traveling through the store a bit more to get a few more things, we finally paid for everything and left, stuffing everything into the car. We’d been driving a bit when the radio was turned off and I looked at my brunette friend, raising a curious eyebrow.

“What she said bothered you.” He stated simply.

“Obviously. Whenever I mention John being on tour or being in a band, everyone just assumes the worst.”

“And what would that be?”

“That it was a one night stand that ended badly.”

“Well guys in bands are typically assholes who do that.”

I glared at him but he eyed me carefully, not willing to take back what he said.

“John’s different!”

“How so?”

“He just is!”

“Lily! He cheated on you over and over again! Obviously this isn’t going to end good if you take him back again!”

“John cares—”

“Bullshit! If he cared then he wouldn’t have cheated in the first place!” Benji interrupted me, not bothering to even look at me as he focused on not getting us in a car crash.

“Its not his fault…he just get too drunk and he doesn’t know what’s going on…” I whispered out, trying to hold back the tears.

“Then why the hell hasn’t he gone to get help? If you ask me, he sounds like nothing but an alcoholic asshole.”

It was quiet for a long time as Benji pulled up into our parking space in front of the building we lived in. I stared up at the ceiling of the car for the longest time with tears running down my face. Without a sound, I wiped them away and unbuckled myself, opening the door so I could get out of the car which was starting to suffocate me.

“Lily…” Benji called out but I shook my head as he got out of the car.

“Go somewhere. I don’t want you near me.”

“I’m sorry Lily; I’m just worried about you! I don’t want to see you come back to me hurt again.”

I looked at him carefully, my eyes staring into his before I nodded slowly.

“I know. I just need time.”

“Just let me help you get everything into the apartment.”

He did just that, carrying most of the stuff since I couldn’t actually lift much since it would put too much stress on my body. We left everything in the guest bedroom before he said he was going to his girlfriend’s place and left for the night. It was still early but I was hungry and decided to go ahead and make myself dinner to get my mind off things. What Benji had said didn’t change my mind but I knew I was going to have to be on edge until I completely trusted John again. That is, if he really comes.

I cooked myself pasta with sausage and put it on a plate before going into my living room. There wasn’t anything interesting on television so I put on the music video channel and watched for a bit, a smile spreading on my lips when The Maine came on not too long after, Inside Of You playing while I ate.

“I missed you John…” I murmured, looking down at my belly when I felt the baby kick.

Often, if I said his name then the baby would kick. It was almost like the little baby knew that I was talking about its father and wanted him here. Hell, I did too.