My Little Bubble , Needs To Be Popped

I watched with careful eyes to the outside world as everything passed by me, the steady pulsing of the engine beating through the seat as I leaned back, propping my legs up on the dashboard as I leaned down into my bag and pulled out the rectangular pack that was in there. My eyes searched for a lighter, finding one in the console next to me that I pulled out and recognized easily, knowing it was my own. I flicked the lighter, watching the flame pop up before letting it go out as I opened the pack of cigarettes and took one out. Gently, I stuffed the pack back in my bag and flicked the lighter once more, lighting up the cigarette.

“Are you sure about this, Lily?” I heard, making my head snap to the driver’s side.

Without saying a word I moved the cancer stick to my lips, taking a long drag before opening the window a bit so the smoke could go out. Easily I stuck the tip out the window and flicked away the ashes before I turned back to the boy who was currently driving my baby.

“Benji, I have to do this either way. What’s the worst that could happen?” I asked with a smirk, tossing my brown hair back behind my shoulder.

“He could hurt you again.”

“I’m not going to let him.”

“Doesn’t mean he won’t get the chance.”

I turned around in the seat to look at Benji, my eyes roaming from his spiked brown hair with perfect blonde highlights, to his ice blue eyes hidden slightly behind his black glasses, along his thin round facial features. Benji was skinny but he had some build on him that made him just perfect. Really, he would be the prefect guy…if I wasn’t still hurting from what happened so long ago.

“Ben, I love you to death so please just let it go.” He looked at me for a moment before turning back to the road and nodding.

The rest of the drive to the airport was filled with a comfortable silence, both of us still not to too happy about leaving each other but I promised him I’d fly him out sometimes and I would call him every single day. Even then, it didn’t seem like it would be enough it was all I had to keep in touch with Benji. Plus, he promised to listen to all my ranting that needed to be done.

The sight of the giant airport came into my vision and I sighed, taking the last drag from my cigarette before I put it in the empty soda can, sloshing the leftover liquid around to put the cancer stick out.

Benji drove down into the huge parking garage, finding a spot close to the door we needed before he turned out the car. With a sigh I opened the door, stepping out into the warm air and turning back around to grab my bag. As I stood up straight, I slung the bag around my shoulder and slammed the door shut before making my way along the side to the trunk. My best friend had my bag already out for me, making me smile as I tried to reach for the suitcase but he shook his head and started walking, slinging his head over my shoulders as we headed to the doors.

“You really don’t want me to leave.” I stated quietly.

“I’m just worried about you Lily, I know this is gonna be hard for you.”

“Yeah but I can just totally ignore him and hang with the other guys. They’re really sweet!”

“So you’ve told me. So it’s only him that’s the problem. Well anytime you need me to be there just call me and I’ll come right away.”

I nodded, stopping as we reached the check-in desk. I walked up to the lady, handing her all the information she needed before waiting as she handed me the ticket for my plane trip. While the lady put a paper thing around the strap of my bag I turned back to Benji, reaching into his pocket and stealing his lighter before putting mine inside his pocket.

“You’re taking my custom made lighter?” He asked, a smirk tugging on his lips.

“Yeah! I like it. Plus, now you’ll always think of me and I’ll always think of you.”

“Yes, and convey the wrong message considering my name is across the lighter.”

I looked up at Benji with a innocent smile before placing the lighter in my pocket and taking my bag from the lady. I walked across the little hall, handing it to the guy who put it on the conveyor belt. I watched the bag leave from my sight before walking off to the next place I needed to go. When we reached the security gate I stopped and turned around, hugging Benji close to me.

“I’ll miss you!”

“You better.” He joked before leaning down and pecking my cheek. “I’ll miss you too Lily.”

He lifted me up, swinging me around which made me squeal before he set me down and I backed away, waving to him. When I needed to I turned around and got into line, waiting before I put my messenger bag up on the belt and grabbed a bucket, sticking my lighter, my belt, my shoes, and anything metal I had into the bucket before setting it back down.

I let the security take it and I walked through the scanner, letting a sigh of relief out when it didn’t ring out. I was able to gather my stuff and put everything back on before walking down into the huge sitting area. The clock told me I only have thirty minutes left but suddenly my flight was called out, telling me that my plane was boarding so I looked at my ticket, finding out my gate number before making my way over.

Within a matter of minutes I was on the plane, settling into my seat next to the window. Everyone was already on so the door was closing and I finally relaxed back into the seat, putting the seatbelt on before pulling out my phone. I flipped it open, stopping as I looked at the background of my phone which was a picture of me and John kissing, a picture I'd made one of the guys take.

I was so happy then. So happy with John before the party.

Finally I closed my eyes and went to sleep for the plane ride, dreading the fact that I knew John would be popping up into my dreams.

----

“Miss, the plane will be landing soon.”

My eyes fluttered open, my dark green orbs landing on a woman who was pushing a cart and obviously collecting trash. I waved my hand to let her know that I was awake before I bent down, picking up my bag. I checked my phone, sighing when I noticed I have three messages from Benji, obviously worried about me. I sent him a quick text before setting my phone back in the bag and setting it beside me, staring out the window as the plane fell down onto the landing strip gently.

It took forever for everyone to get moving so when people were moving down the aisle I stood up, silently thanking the world for giving me a small body as I weaved through people and headed for the door to the plane. I broke through, smiling to the ladies that were there, and made my way into the main part of the airport where I went to grab my bag before heading out. It didn’t take long for me to break out of the mass and headed to the front of the airport, raising my arm up to hail a taxi.

The big yellow cupcake pulled up, making me smile since a snotty looking blonde huffed away next to me. I nodded to the man as he got out from the driver’s seat and took my bag, putting it in the trunk while I got into the backseat. I slid into the middle and told the driver the address that I’d been given before relaxing back. My phone buzzed, making my look down at it but I just left it alone before looking down at myself. I was wearing a red and black striped shirt, a black skirt that stopped mid-thigh length while my black legging were underneath, taking over once my skirt stopped. I had on my feet my favorite red converses also to finish off the look along with a red beret. Over all, I looked rather cute.

I was happy when I spotted the place I wanted, the taxi pulling up a bit away so I opened the car door and got out, making my way to the trunk. The taxi driver opened the back and grabbed my bag, handing it to me gently. After paying him and thanking him I grabbed the handle of my bag, walking off toward the bus that was in front of me. The closer I got, the more scared I got.

I didn’t even know how I would react emotionally to seeing him again, I knew my heart was still really fragile but I’d purposely avoided seeing anything of him, including his pictures. This though, was seeing him face to face and so many things could happen. I took a deep breath and knocked lightly on the door of the bus, waiting patiently till it opened and I looked up into the eyes of a man I’d met for like one minute at a meeting a long time ago.

“You must be Tim.” I stated calmly with a smile.

“And you must be Lily!” I nodded and Tim came down, grabbing my bag before he disappeared off on the giant bus.

I shuffled around till I heard someone yelling on the bus, a voice I recognized as Pat’s almost instantly. I sighed and turned around, walking a few steps away till I shrieked out when I felt arms wrap around my waist and I was being spun around in the air.

“Garrett! Put me down!” I shouted, wiggling in his arms.

He stopped spinning but he kept me in his arms, holding me up so I was looking down at him with a childish smile.

“This can’t be fucking true! What are you doing here Lily?!”

“I’m your new co-manager.” I whispered as I wiggled in his arms. “Now put me the fuck down!”

Finally he did and I turned around, seeing the boys from my past coming out one by one. I hugged Kennedy tightly, him being my second favorite behind Garrett, before Jared came up suddenly. He stole me away, taking me a few steps away where I was buried in his arms before Pat came to the rescue and hugged me tightly also. Eventually I got away from them and looked at them all before giggle.

“It’s really good to see all of you. I missed all of you so much over the years.” I said quietly, squeaking when Garrett came up behind me, hugging me once more.

“We missed you too Lily.” He whispered into my ear and I nodded, leaning my head back on his shoulder.

My eyes landed on the doorway of the bus though, just staring there as I watched legs suddenly appear and they were walking down the steps before a chest appeared and then the rest of him.

It was like my heart broke all over again.

I didn’t noticed that I’d gasped and tried to step back but with Garrett behind me I couldn’t and he just tightened his hold on me, obviously aware by how hard this was for me. Quickly I changed my facial expression so my heart break didn’t show as I met eyes with John but I didn’t say anything.

If he wanted me to talk to him, then he’d have better say something good.

Ugh, I really needed to have a smoke after this...