World So Cold

“Don’t you love the fall weather?” I said coming up to Stefan and brushing my shoulder against his.

“I know you always loved it,” he said smiling. “Every day you’d make a pile of leaves to jump in. No matter how many times your maid would scold you for dirtying your dress,” he teased.

“It was fun,” I argued lightly glaring at him. I heard approaching footsteps and both Stefan and I turned to see Elena approaching us. As usual she walked with the sure steps of someone in control.

“Hello, Juliet, Stefan,” said Elena as she approached us. We were outside during lunchtime. Neither of us had any food in front of us. What we would eat the cafeteria didn’t serve.

“Hello, Elena,” said Stefan. I could see them lock eyes and felt the joy and love in their gaze. It was enough to make me sick.

“Elena, sit down and join us,” I said smiling sweetly. “We were just talking about how wonderful the fall season is.” Elena set her tray down and sat across from Stefan on our picnic bench outside. Even with her food in front of her Elena didn’t touch it. Instead she and Stefan seemed to be having a staring contest.

“I’m going to the library,” I said standing up. Stefan then looked at me puzzled. “There’s a book I want to get,” I said telling the first excuse that came to mind. Stefan nodded and I walked off towards the library.

I was about to enter the school when I felt someone touch my arm. I turned to see Elena there standing sheepishly. She shuffled her feet awkwardly before opening her mouth to speak. “Thank you,” she said. “Thank you for getting Stefan to want me.”

“Elena,” I said, “he’s always wanted you. He was just too afraid to admit it.”

“Afraid of what?” she asked. Afraid that if you got to close he’d kill you and drain all your blood. Now that would be the correct answer. It would also probably send Elena to the police or me to an insane asylum.

“Maybe one day you’ll know,” I said instead. Maybe one day love can conquer all. I turned around and walked inside of the school. Up in the library I plucked a random book from the shelf and began reading. I spent the rest of my lunch period engrossed in Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet.

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“Good evening, Juliet,” said Stefan coming out onto the widow’s walk with me. The past few weeks I have been coming on to the widow’s walk to talk to Stefan. We never went inside. I had not been invited in by Stefan’s landlady. I didn’t ask and Stefan didn’t offer.

“Stefan,” I said acknowledging him. I gripped the railing and stared out at the vast expanse of sky. The night sky was beautiful with many stars showing. That was something I didn’t see in a city, the stars. They were usually outshone by the many lights among the city.

“Juliet, I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” said Stefan coming to stand beside me.

“Too distracted by Elena?” I asked almost bitterly.

“Yes and no. Mostly I’m just unsure how to ask this question. I guess there is just no right way.”

“Ask what?” I said turning to look at him.

“How did you become a vampire?” asked Stefan. The question caught me off guard. I froze for a second unsure how to respond.

“It’s no mystery how you were turned,” I said countered angrily. “Both of you were so in love with Katherine. You drank her blood. Willingly too I bet.” A glance at him showed me that he had drank willingly. “Why would you do something like that? Why would you want to be a vampire? You hate yourself now.” I shook my head not understanding.

“I thought she had chosen me. We gave her an ultimatum and I thought she had come to me.”

“She couldn’t choose in the first place, Stefan. You were foolish to think otherwise.”

“You do foolish things when you’re in love,” pointed out Stefan.

“Yes, you do,” I agreed. I gripped the railing harder and my knuckles turned white. It was always so hard to fight off the thoughts of him.

“It’s almost Halloween and I have no idea what I’m going to be. Any ideas?” I asked changing the subject.

“You’re dressing up?” asked Stefan surprised.

“I do every year. It’s one of my favorite holidays. For once I’m not the only one wearing a disguise. Are you going to dress up?” I asked Stefan. He shook his head no. “You have to. Elena would love it.”

“Maybe,” said Stefan smiling at the mention of Elena.