The Choices We Make

I sat in the waiting room of the OBGYN clinic. Last time I was sitting in the waiting room of some cheap womens clinic waiting to kill my baby and now a week later I'm sitting in a fancy special women doctor clinic waiting to find out things about the baby that I am now keeping.

“Acelynn Parker!” The blond nurse called standing in a door way, her back to the door holding it open, clipboard also in hand. I stared at her for a moment and then my mom squeezed my hand which she had been holding the whole time we were sitting in the waiting room. My mom and I stood up and followed the smiling nurse into a small check up room.

“Dr. Avery will be in with you in just a moment, sweetie.” The nurse said in a sweet voice. I nodded and watched her walk away as I sat on the chair dangling my feet off the edge. My mom sat in one of the guest seats next to the big chair. We both sat in silence until the doctor walked in.

She was tall with brown hair and hazel eyes, she was fairly young but had laugh lines. “Hello, Acelynn, and you are her mother?” She said turning to my mom.

My mom nodded and stood up to shake her hand. “Yes, I'm Aubrey Parker. Nice to meet you.”

“You too. I'm doctor Avery. Call me Cheryl. Alright, Lay back please Acelynn. Let's see what's going on.” I lied back and heard the paper that was on the chair crunch as I moved. “So you know for sure you are pregnant?”

I nodded. “I went to a clinic and they gave me a blood pregnancy test.”

“So you have no clue how far along you are?”

I shook my head.

She nodded and took notes on her clip board. After a few seconds of scribbles she looked up. “Let me review your information to make sure everything is right. Full name, Acelynn Denise Parker, Age 15, born 03/12/95?”

I nodded.

“Alrighty, let's check out this little baby and see how far along you are. Pull up your shirt a bit. Are you ready?” She asked before she squirted the jelly stuff on my belly.

“Not really.” I admitted. “But I don't have much of an option. Might as well get this over with.”

Cheryl half-smiled at me and then squirted the jelly on my stomach. I jumped at the sudden coldness and Cheryl chuckled. “Sorry, forgot to warn ya.” She put and hard metal thing on my stomach and moved it around spreading the jelly as she moved it around. I watched the screen of the ultrasound machine and seen a little bean looking thing.

“Ah, you are six weeks pregnant. You wont show for about eight or nine more weeks and you will probably just barley show. I have this bag of stuff all about pregnancy for you, I want you to read and study as much as you can. I wont need to see you for about another month unless something goes wrong. If you need anything call me.” She said wiping if my belly and handing my mom the bag with pregnancy stuff in it. “Any questions, don't hesitate to pick up the phone, Okay? Take care of that baby, I'll see you in four weeks.”

We shook hands and said goodbye as my mom and I parted ways from Cheryl as she walked into another room with her next client.

In silence my mom and I walked to the car and once we got int and started the car up, reality hit both of us.

“So this is really happening?” My mom asked, rhetorically. “ I can't believe it. You're so young, I wish you and Nate would have never got involved, I wish you would have asked for birth control.”

“But I didn't.” I stated, staring forward as we pulled out of the parking lot and onto the road.

“But you didn't.” She said. “We just have to live with that now, huh? We wont be the only Parker's in the house in eight months. That's so crazy to even say. Oh, man. It's so hard to grasp.”

A baby of my own, it was hard for me to grasp too. At fifteen, this is not the place I wanted to be, and I know I wont be ready. I was concerned what people at school would think, but thankfully I would have all summer to worry about that because I wont hardly show till the end of the year. Sure I'm starting to get more signs that I'm pregnant but teenagers should be oblivious to it.

Today was Sunday and to face Nate tomorrow with a straight face I knew would be hard. I knew keeping this from him would be even harder, I had no choice though. No option, I needed to save his future. Loosing contact with Nate was going to be hard. For now I would need to savor every moment with him. Nate and I might have had a strict no feelings rule but that excluded friendship and sibling love and that's exactly what I had for him and I'm sure he had it for me. I had known Nate since I was a freshman, we quickly became friends and he was my shoulder. All my crappy relationships he was there for. He was the one that held me when I cried, while kissing my head and telling me how beautiful I was and how stupid the guy was.

Nate knew every single piece of me. I didn't lie to him hardly ever. He knew about my feelings for Jake, trying to help me decipher him all the time. Some of the signals Jake was sending Nate didn't even have an answer for. Nate and I, we couldn't be a good couple, we talked about it often. We knew that that's just not what was meant to be. We were just supposed to be friends and we like it that way. Friends forever is what we promised each other on new years. I knew that promise would have to be broken.

We arrived home quicker than I thought and I got out of the car carrying my pregnancy bag inside with me too the living room. I sat on the couch while my mom started dinner. Inside the bag was a empty journal with the shadow of a pregnant women on it, a few different books all about facts of pregnancy, nutrition information, prenatal vitamins, a weight book where I would write how much I weighed at the beginning of every week, and a special pregnancy calender. Week six in my weight book was already filled out with my weight, curtsy from my doctor.

After dinner and a long talk with my mom I went to bed holding my stomach as I cried in my bed. Just then Nate called me. I sucked up my tears and answered the phone.

“Hello.”

“Hi, sunny shine.” Nate said. “How are you?”

“Tired, I've had a really long day. We should hang out soon though.” I suggested remembering what I thought about earlier. “It would be fun and we haven't really spent quality time together in a really long time.”

“Oh, yeah? Quality time?” I could see Nate raise his eyebrows in my head when he spoke in his suggestive voice. I rolled my eyes and laughed a little.

“Shut up, I mean it in a friendly way. Not like that.”

Nate laughed and I heard him turn on music. “Well, let's not completely rule it out, what happens happens. Anyways, I called to tell you that I miss hanging out. We haven't done it in a few weekends since you've been sick and all.”

“Aw, I miss you too. We'll hang out tomorrow night, okay? I'm going to bed now though. I love you, Natey, Goodnight.”

“Okay, baby. I love you, too. Night, sleep tight, dream of me.”

I hang up the phone and set it down and as I close my eyes my phone vibrates. I grunt and pick it up off my night stand. Message from: Melanie 7:02 p.m. I chose view and then read her message. We need to talk in the morning. It's about Jake. I think he likes you, like for real. I smiled and then texted her back. Okay, Meet you at normal spot in the morning. I gotta tell you something too, But it's a secret.

I sat my cell phone back on my night stand and try to drift into a deep sleep without thinking about anything but Jake.