The Religious Experience

The air is cold and wet. It feels wonderful on my face. I close my eyes and imagine I'm not going to school, but I'm on a ship sailing the seas. I imagine the wind blowing through my hair, the grand adventures I'd have.

My name is called, but I don't open my eyes. I want to relish my fantasy. It seems so glamorous. Though it probably isn't.

I open my eyes at the pessimistic thought. I see Derek walking over to me. Apparently, he's going to school early as well.

"Hi." He said. His brown hair was in his face and it looked like he just woke up. Oh dear.

"Derek, did you just wake up?" I asked. He blushed. Apparently, I hit the nail on the head.

"Yeah...I just saw you walking and I wanted to walk with you..." He admitted. I frowned. What was the point of that? He won't gain anything. What a stupid idea.

"That was dumb." I told him. His eyes widened. Oh. I suppose I was being quite rude there.

"If you wanted to walk with me you should've just asked earlier. Now get dressed and I'll wait for you." I told him strictly, as my mother would've. He was off like lightning.

What a weird boy. He really should've just asked. It's not like I would say no. How weird. He came about 11 minutes later. Great, now I'll be late.

"Sorry." Was all he said. I nodded and started walking.

I can't believe I was so anxious. What did I think would even happen? Gosh I'm not very bright. I could imagine my mother singing 'I told you so's in my head. What was the matter with me?

"Eden?" Derek asked. I turned my head towards him. I caught a sight of blue eyes. Oh. That explains why I was anxious. Those eyes are beautiful.

"Yes?"

"What school do you go to?" Oh. We're making small talk. Alright.

"Atticus's School For Girls." I answered. The rest of the conversation was boring, and had no real point. I found myself looking in his pretty eyes a lot. I don't know why, but their easily the prettiest thing I've ever seen. They match Derek.

I waved goodbye to Derek and entered school. Girl's were wearing the same uniform as I was and it looked like a big blob of beige. They were wearing bright ribbons in their shiny hair. I just had my hair in a bun. Father said it looked pretty.

I was first one in my class and took my spot by the window. No teacher usually called on me so I just looked out the window. The blue sky had nothing on Derek's eyes though. I frowned. Why am I obsessing? Their just eyes. Everyone has them.

But none are like his…

I watch as girls talk about their lives and faces. They talk about how pretty they are, how fit their bodies are, and how big their breasts are getting. I frowned. I wonder if Derek thinks I have a pretty face, a fit body, or big breasts. I shivered. Never mind, he probably thinks I’m boring. I don't realize I'm listening in on their conversation.

“Hey, chick with the bun.” A nasty voice asks. I look up to see a blond girl with pretty brown eyes.

“Yes?” I answer. She smirks.

“What’s wrong with you? Stop listening to our conversations, fatso..” She walks off flicking her hair behind her.

I look away. I don’t cry. I get up and excuse myself to the bathroom. I ignore all the girls comments. When I get in the bathroom I look in the mirror. I feel the tears coming. I am ugly. And fat. And far too tall for my age. Those awful girls were right. My ugly brown eyes start to water.

That’s when I start to cry.