Zombie 2.0 1/2

“Oh dear God!” Deci yelled. “I did NOT need to see that! That is why I never go looking for them!”

“Wait!” Banana hollered at them. “It REALLY wasn’t what it looked like! I seriously only stumbled in there to investigate!”

“So that’s what the kids are calling it now a days? Investigating?” Rev asked not really slowing down.

“NO! It really wasn’t that. You guys walked right by me talking about... what was it?... I think you guys were talking about marriage.” Banana said trying to prove her innocence.

“Uh-huh. A likely story. Or a lucky guess.” Rev said glancing back.

“Oh God. I am not lying. I think I am traumatized. I…. My… my poor eyes…” Banana looked at the ground, still keeping pace.

“And you wonder why I never want to come looking for you. I just saw a side of Dean that I never, EVER, wanted to see. I think…. I may have to burn my eyes out. Or leave. I’m leaning towards the burning of eyes.” Deci said not looking at them.

“You think you have to burn them? I have never seen another man’s junk! I don’t…. that is just… I can’t speak about it. I can’t. I won’t go back to that dark time, please don’t make me!” Rev clung on to Deci for moral support.

“I know what you mean… I need..fire.”

“GUYS!” Banana jumped in front of them. “I didn’t go in there to do what you think! You can even ask Dean! IF, and this is a really huge like size of a fat…sumo…wreslter huge, IF I did go there to do that then WHY was there bubbles in Dean’s hair?!”

Rev and Deci looked at each other and for a moment she thought she had gotten through to them.

“You sick son’s of bitches… I will never look at a rubber ducky the same!” Rev stormed off.

“Deci you believe me don’t you?” Banana pleaded.

She sighed. “I saw a lot back there that might of altered my capability to think like a normal person… I really can’t say that I think you went there….to…oh god bubbles in places… but.. eh..” She was struggling. “No. I believe you Banana… It’s just… I CAN’T UNSEE WHAT I HAVE SEEN!”

“ME EITHER!”

“OH GOD!”

They hugged.

“This is so traumatic!” Banana cried.

“I KNOW!”

They stood looking around for a minute and then went to make sure Rev hadn’t told anyone what he saw.

............

It was almost too much for Rev to sit through dinner without making bubble jokes every time he saw a bubble in a soda. Deci kept kicking him under the table and Dean hadn’t made an appearance yet.

“You guys look…really…what’s the word I’m looking for?” Ivan asked.

“Disturbed.” Norman said.

“Are you guys okay? All three of you are white as a ghost.”

“A ghost on crack.” Norman nodded.

“No, we’re fine. Can you please pass the suds- I mean spuds.. POTATOS!” Rev said freaking out slightly.

“It’s okay.” Deci said quietly and patted his shoulder.

“We might have to kick Dean out of the group now.” He whispered to her.

She nodded and patted his shoulder again.

“Wow… you guys really aren’t okay are you?”

“We don’t talk about it.” Banana said slightly rocking back and forth.

“Okay….” Pilot was even interested now.

“No! We can’t!” Banana slammed her fork down. “It’s too big of a tragedy.”

“Did you guys see a zombie or something? I mean, I know they’re scary but right now they’re almost harmless unless you let them munch on you.”

“Yeah.. zombies… that’s it.. munching on my brain.. oh how I wish they would munch on my brain…” Rev said staring off in to space.

Just then Dean walked in to the room.

Norman, Ivan and Pilot greeted him in the same way they always would but when Rev, Deci and Banana looked at him everyone went red.

“Er… Hi…guys.” Dean said sitting down carefully and looked at the food. “How… is everyone?”

“Well we’re having a going away party for Pilot.” Norman said, which relieved the other three, and he smiled.

“Oh that’s nice. Have you guys finally decided on what kind of cake to bake him. OH! Maybe not cake pie!”

Even though they laughed, only three of them were honestly laughing.

“So… Uh…how’s dinner?” Deci asked trying to eat her food.

“Well it’s good…” Dean said taking a bite. “Actually really good what is this?”

“Roast duck.” Pilot said.

“Oh God.” Rev sunk back in his seat.

“Are you okay?” Pilot asked.

“Yeah, fine, he’s fine, just a little dizzy. That medicine finally wearing off in his body and all, takes a lot out of him.”

“I wish it took a lot more out of me, like my memories.” He said in a sort of dazed voice.

“Rev!” Deci hissed.

“I’m good, I’m okay.”

“Hey will someone pass me the butt of the food, if none of you mind I’ll finish it off.” Ivan said.

“Oh God.” Rev sunk back in his chair again.

Banana coughed and choked on a piece of food and Deci bit her lip.

“Now guys, I wanted to tell you, that truck that I gave you is almost naked, you guys-“
“I CAN’T TAKE THIS ANYMORE!” Rev said standing up.

“Sit!” Deci grabbed his arm and made him sit and Rev slammed his head down into some mashed potato.

“What is with you guys?” Pilot asked.

“Nothing, we’re fine. Fine. Really…fine. Awesome even.”

“Are you sure?” Norman asked. “You guys look really sick.”

“I think maybe we ate something bad…maybe.” Rev said.

“Oh don’t worry, everything here is good. Not spoiled. I made sure of it.” Pilot said.

“Oh, I don’t know then…” Rev said with a still very much disturbed look on his face.

“So anyways, as I was saying, I really want to fix the drive shaft-.”

Rev, Banana and Deci all looked at each other with a horrible look on their face.

“And maybe fix it up you know? Give it some real balls just in case.”

“I can’t… take this..” Rev said almost whimpering.

“Me either.” Deci whispered back.

“What do you guys think anyway? My friend Dick showed me how to really soup up things when we were in the Marines.” Pilot smiled.

“I don’t… think… I can breathe.” Banana said.

The entire time this was going on Dean was staring at his plate as if at any moment it would jump up, smash itself on the table and slice his throat. In a way he really hoped that would happen.

“Yepp. Good ol’ Dick Johnson.” Pilot said looking as if he were remembering good times. Banana and her friends however were not remembering good times. “Please pass the hot buns.”

It was getting harder to ignore the things they were saying.

“We should also lather up your truck, give it a good washing before you go. Don’t want it to be covered in dirt.”

“Oh…..” Rev said closing his eyes and running his hand through his hair which made the potatoes go from his forehead to being smashed in his hair.

“Sounds good…to me.” Dean said quietly.

There was a huge silence and then Norman broke the last straw.

“Did you guys know there is a full moon tonight?”

They all got up and left.

Dean was pacing back and forth in the chill room when Banana came in to get something.

“Er, I…”

“Yeah.” Dean threw his hand in the air. “I get it.”

“Are you…upset?” She said looking around hoping he didn’t say yes.

“Nope.”

“GOOD! Then let’s just, let this get past us!”

“Banana I am really sorry you had to see that…That.. is reserved for special times only…So it wasn’t as nice…as it should have been-.”

“Oh God.” Banana hung her head. Then she realized she had thought of the word ‘hung’ and frowned even more.

“OKAY! I’m sorry. I really am sorry. But I didn’t think anyone was going to burst in there, and it said ‘boys’ not ‘girls’…so like I thought YOU would burst in!” Dean said throwing his arms up.

“I am sorry I saw it too.” Banana said.

“Ugh. Look, can we get past this? I don’t want things to be this awkward between us.”

“You said between.” Banana said and closed her eyes.

“Ugh.”

“Well, at least that wasn’t as bad as dinner… I swear they were just throwing those words out there.”

“I know, I’m sure you’re pretty disturbed.”

“Well, that may be true but…not as much as Rev is.”

Dean nodded. “I know. God.” Dean sighed. “So… can we be okay now? And forget this ever happened?”

“Oh trust me, that’s all I want to do.”