Angel, Put Me Back Together Again

Angela's POV

I waited nervously at the Newark International Airport for my parents to pick me up. I had my bags gathered and ready to go, as much as I could anyway. I wasn't sure about the whole going part. It felt weird being back in New Jersey after so long. For the first time in my life, I felt like an outsider. People would give me second glances as they walked by. Maybe it was my tanned skin. Maybe it was the afterglow and sex hair that I didn't bother to really fix too much after mine and Zack’s last encounter in the bathroom. Who knows? What I do know is that just because I've been away for a few months doesn't mean I forgot how to hold my own. They can take the girl out of Jersey but they can't take Jersey out of the girl. I may have looked nervous to a passerby, but not for the reason they probably thought. A girl alone in Jersey. That wasn't it. I was nervous to see my parents and everyone else.

I hadn't seen my parents since I left, but I had sent them the occasional letter when I remembered to respond to them. Gerard and I kept in contact at first but it dwindled to nothing the longer I was gone. We weren't on bad terms, we just stopped talking. Or I guess I stopped responding. I never felt bad about it while in California, but now that I was here and had to face it head on, I was starting to feel that sting of guilt.

But there was one thing I don't know if I could ever prepare myself for.

Frank.

I don't know when or if I would even see him while I was here, but I decided a long time ago that there was no point in planning out conversations or arguments. I didn't think about it too much. The more I thought about him, the more it hurt. Instead I focused on other problems at hand. Like the old station wagon pulling up to the curb where I was standing. My parents car. We've had it since I was young, but the sight of it wasn't as comforting as I had hoped it would be. The second the car was parked, the passenger door flew open and my mom practically fell into my arms, crying. I barely caught her as she squeezed me too tight. She pulled away from me, laughing through the tears.

"Look at you. Just look at you. Oh, Angela!" She wrapped her arms around me once again. I grunted and squeezed her back.

"Mom, it’s fine. I told you I wouldn't be gone forever." As awkward as the exchange was at first, it actually felt good to hug her again. I looked over her shoulder and saw my dad standing there with his arms crossed. I was able to pry my mom off me long enough to step forward and give my dad a hug as well. It was much more brief than the one I had with my mom, but it was enough.

"Welcome back. You got tan." The first thing he said to me. I just smiled and nodded. "I'm glad you got out in the sun instead of being cooped up all day."

"Yeah, there wasn't much else to do." I shrugged my shoulders, not sure of how to respond to him. After a moment of silence, my dad cleared his throat and bent over to pick up my luggage.

"Well you can tell us all about it on the way home." My mom said beaming as she held open the back door for me. I cringed but forced a smile as I climbed into the car.

The ride seemed a lot longer than it actual was as I told them about school and life in California. My mom gushed over the details while my dad just smiled and looked back in the rear view mirror at me every now and then. I told them about my classes and going down to the beach and local shops. Then it got to the part I had been preparing for. I knew it was bound to come up at some point and I had to make a decision on whether to tell the truth or not.

"So, meet anyone new down there?"

"Sort of. My roommate and her friends, but we really didn't get along." I couldn't help but scowl as I thought about Charleen and her horde. My mom had spun around in her chair at this point and was looking at me.

"What about any boys? I know you and Frank had a falling out.."

"Mom!" I groaned as she sweetened her voice up, almost baby talking me, as she mentioned his name.

"Well I just didn't want you being hung up on a guy the whole time you were down there."

"I wasn't. I'm fine."

"So...?" She pushed again.

"Sort of. Yes. I met someone." I chopped it up, just wishing she would drop it, though I know she would have a million more questions now. I was saved when I saw our house coming into view.

"Oh, really? What's his name? Did you meet at school?"

"His name's Zack. We met at the beach. He's really nice. I was hoping he might get to come down for a bit." We pulled into the driveway and I was ready to bolt upstairs and lay down in my bed. I was feeling jet lagged from the plane ride. My mom continued her interrogation even as I dragged my luggage inside. I finally had to cut her off.

"I can tell you more about him later, but I really just need to lie down." I started up the stairs before she could protest.

"Alright, honey. You better. You can just leave your stuff down here for now."

"Thanks." I mumbled as I trudged up the stairs. I threw open my old bedroom door and sighed with relief at the sight of it. I dropped my purse next to the bed and fell backwards onto the cool sheets that hadn't been laid in in months. My room was the first thing that felt comforting to me since I got here. On the drive here my head was reeling with so many different thoughts that I was beyond happy to just lie in bed away from everything. I snuggled up to one of my pillows and let out a long sigh.

"Long flight?" A sarcastic voice asked from the corner of my room.

"What the fuck?!" I jumped so hard I fell off the side of the bed. With trembling hands, I quickly jumped to my feet and pushed my disheveled hair from my face. "How did you .... but I...." I glanced at my window that had cracked open then back to the dark corner of my room by my closet. I surprised I heard him over the pounding of my heart.

"How'd I get in? The window." He stated simply.

"You're not really here." My voice was shaking.

"Am I?" He took two steps out of the corner and into the light, his piercings glinting against the setting sun.

"How long have you been waiting?" Nothing seemed coherent at this point, so I just continued with this impossible situation.

"Not long."

"Why are you here?"

"Didn't you want to see me?" He pouted playfully.

"No." I was flat and cold.

"You're lying." He quickly matched my icy stare. I swallowed the softball sized lump in my throat.

"I just ... I don't even know what to say to you, Frank." The taste of his name made my tongue swell and dry up.

"You don't know what to say to me? Haven't you said enough?"

"If you're still pissed, why did you come here?"

"Cause we need to talk."

"What's left to say?"

"An explanation would be nice for starters." He took another step toward my bed and I felt myself sitting back down as he did so. After sitting the whole plane ride, I was surprised to find that I couldn't stand anymore. I raised my eyebrows in confusion.

"Excuse me?"

"Why him? Why not me?"

"You really want to have this conversation?"

"That's why I'm here."

I didn't get it. He didn't seem mad. Not even the slightest bit upset. He just took a few more steps toward me until we were just a foot apart, him gazing down at me sitting on the bed with curiosity.

"I don't know ..."

"Yes you do."

"I ... I ..." I really had no fucking clue what to say. Why were we even having this conversation? How did he even get here? I'm almost certain I didn't see him when I walked in my room. I would have noticed, wouldn't I? I balled my sheets up in my hands as I fought this insatiable urge to jump up into his arms. I felt no anger towards him. It almost seemed like it used to be. I wanted to touch him. I wanted him to hold me. I wanted to scream.

"Isn't this what you want?" As if he could read my mind he took a step forward and gently placed his hand on the side of my face. I felt my eyes close as I leaned into him.

"I don't know." I answered honestly. I felt his hand leave my face and I frowned.

I opened my eyes to a dark room. I was staring up at the ceiling. The sun had long since set and I felt groggy. I gasped when I remembered what had just happened and quickly sat up in bed, looking around the room. My window was latched tight. My door was still hanging open and my purse lay on the floor where I dropped it next to the bed.

It was a dream.

Holy shit. I wiped away the thin layer of sweat that had formed on my forehead. It seemed so real. I wasn't sure what to make of the dream, but I did figure on one thing. I need to talk to Frank. Now.