Angel, Put Me Back Together Again

I walked off the plane, completely jet lagged and worn out. I’ve never been on a plane. Actually, I’ve never really left Jersey besides Frank’s moms, but this must be what they’re talking about. As I exited the airport building, my suitcases and bags in hand, I took a deep breath. The air was so fresh out here. I could smell the saltiness lingering in the air from the ocean not too far off. As I exhaled the Californian air, I did my best to clear my head of all thoughts of Jersey and what I left behind. The last few images I had of Jersey were going to be hard to forget, I admit. I won’t forget what all the boys told me, I won’t forget Gerard’s words of wisdom, and I sure as hell am going to have a hard time getting rid of the look in Frank’s eyes as he kissed me one last time. I brought a free hand up to my lips, touching them gently. I let my eyes shut for a moment, letting myself linger for just one more moment.

It was going to be weird not having them around, and at first, the thought of it scared me. it even hurt for a little bit. I could honestly say that I loved Frank at one point, even if I was unsure of myself now. the feeling I had as I ran my finger tips over the sensitive skin of my lips, I knew that there was still something there. I would be an idiot to try and deny that, but I am bound and determined to give myself a second chance. what better way to so that then move across the country?

When I opened my eyes again, I looked at the new and unusual surroundings. I saw the palm trees and the tan bodies. There was a different feeling in the air here than in Jersey. I took in a shaky breath and nodded my head. I wouldn’t dwell on it anymore. This is what I’m going to call home for a while and I need to make the most of it.

I watched as other people around me were either getting in cars already waiting for them or hailing down taxis. I mimicked their actions, sticking my arm out, trying my best to get someone’s attention. One driver and I made eye contact and I sighed with relief. I turned to gather my bags as he pulled off on the side of the drive. As I turned back to start hulling my stuff in the backseat and the trunk, I was almost knocked over when a guy in a three piece suit, carrying a suitcase, and talking too loud on his Bluetooth, rushed past me and jumped in, slamming the door behind him.

“What the fuck, man?” I yelled as I kicked the back of the taxi just as it drove off. I huffed and threw my bags back down. I sat down on my suitcase and looked around once more. No one even seemed to notice the exchange I just had, let alone care about it. I guess there was one thing I knew for sure, and that is that they're just as nice here as they are back in Jersey. At least there I knew what I was doing and how to handle myself. They played by different rules here, but still had the same shitty attitude. I groaned as I let my head fall into my hands resting on my legs. Maybe I’ll wait for the airport to clear out a little more before I tried to get a taxi. As I was running over the list of shit I had to do today, I practically jumped out of my skin when I heard someone let out a loud whistle behind me. I stopped myself from falling backwards off my suitcase and turned to see the source of the noise. I instantly felt sick and could tell that the blood was draining from my face.

“Frank …?” I’m not even sure if it was audible. Maybe I just mouthed the word. I blinked a few times trying hard to get a better look at the man behind me, but the sun was glaring and making it hard to see. I quickly stood up and looked him over. Holy hell. I gulped and pulled my messenger bag tighter on my shoulders.

"Hey sorry about that guy. I saw him take your taxi. I got you another one though." He said nodding behind me. Still in shock, my mouth hanging slightly open, I turned to see another taxi parked right in front of me.

"Oh... Th-thank you..." I stuttered out. I bent over to pick up my bags and turned to sneak and take a closer look at him. As I started my inspection, out of the corner of my
eye I saw a pair of more men in suits walking toward my taxi, chatting and paying no attention. I stood straight up, ready to go off once again but jumped when I heard Mystery Man's voice boom behind.

"Taken, buddy." He didn't really raise his voice but he was still intimidating enough to make the hair on the back of my neck stand up. The suits grumbled, giving us dirty looks before trudging off.

"Thanks again." I said, my voice weak and shy. I mentally kicked myself.

"Would you like a hand with your stuff?" He nodded toward my various bags. I gave him a sheepish look and nodded my head. As he began helping me load things into the car, I tried once more to study him, this time without the sun in my eyes. He was pretty tall. Well, compared to me anyway. He was probably average height. He had dark side swept hair that kept falling in front of his blue eyes. Maybe green? They were amazing either way. He had a piercing dangling from his septum and two tight hoops in his lip. I wasn't able to make out the various tattoos as he continued to lug all of my stuff into the trunk of the taxi. He turned to me as he finished putting the last bag in and about the time I finished looking him over. I began to blush even though he didn't catch me in the act. I smiled and cleared my throat, pulling my messenger bag back over my shoulder.

"Thanks again... you know, hailing down the taxi and all. I probably would have been here all day."

"Hey, no worries. People out here can be dicks sometimes. Where you coming from?"

"Oh, um, New Jersey."

"Wow. Jersey, huh? Well then you got this right?" He asked sarcastically. We both chuckled as he pulled a pack of cigarettes from his back pocket. He placed one neatly between his lips, dead center of his snake bites, as he lit it up. I watched as he took a deep breath, exhaling the smoke slowly into the air. I shook my head at myself. I was studying him to intently, and I was starting to annoying myself. I don't even know this guy. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I kept telling myself, "It's not a crime to look." Besides, I'm not really in a relationship anymore. As far as I was concerned, or anyone at home was for that matter, I was free to do as I pleased.

"So what are you doing all the way over here?"

I barely heard him ask me as I was too busy wrapping up my inspection. I scolded myself as I felt my cheeks heat up again.

"College. I'm going to college. Near by. It's not too far... Umm, are you from around here?" I quickly changed the subject, tired and annoyed of tripping over my words.

"Born and raised." He nodded, taking another hit off the cig. I licked my lips as I watched him. Mostly because I was craving one myself, but the way the smoke danced off his pierced lips... ugh, stop it! I jumped at the sound of the taxi horn behind me. I turned to see that the driver was getting a little impatient. I rolled my eyes and turned back to the guy in front of me.

"Well, maybe I'll see you around sometime?"

"I don't know. It's a pretty big city. Lots of people."

"Right... yeah. Ok, well... thanks again." My subconscious was rolling her eyes at me but I tried my best to ignore it. I was embarrassed enough the way it was. This whole meeting was awkward. If I was lucky, I would never see him again. I started to pull the door shut behind me when I heard him call out to me.

"Hey."

"Yeah?"

"I do hope I see you, though." He blew out a cloud of smoke and have me a genuine smile. I smiled awkwardly and nodded at him.

"Me, too." I closed the door behind me. I watched him wave me off as the taxi pulled away from the curb and out toward the main road. When he was out of sight, I turned and sank low in my seat. Could that have been anymore awkward and embarrassing? I was so consumed with my own thoughts that I jumped when I heard the taxi driver snap at me. Probably because he had asked more than once.

"Where you going?"

"CSULB... Check in."

He nodded and began speeding in the direction of the college. I watched out the window as thee California scenery zoomed by. I sighed and though of the guy back at the airport. He looked so familiar. So much like Frank. I tried my best not to make the connection. That's all I needed was to be greeted by my past as I'm trying to get away from it. I tried to convince myself it was just the piercings and tattoos but deep down I knew there was more to it. Maybe the guy was right though. It is a big city and the odds of me running into him again are pretty slim. I felt something in me twist. Maybe it was disappointment. I didn't mind talking to him, but the moment I left him, I couldn't help where my mind was wandering. This was way too much to think of right now and I am way to jet lagged to want to care. Instead I focused on the clean, bright California collage moving past me at sixty miles an hour.