I Need Him, My Gerard

I always had a fear that Gerard would realise how hot he was and leave me for some hotter guy. But I definitely thought he was a hundred percent gay. He’s a smart guy.

“Gerard you sneaky bitch where’s your wal…” I trailed off, my knees shaking underneath me. Gerard was moaning softly as that disgusting woman sucked his neck, her fingers in his hair. She was like a vulture, clawing at him from behind. The bank statements were strewn across the desk forgotten in this sick moment of passion.

“W-what the the h-hell gee,” I breathed shakily. I couldn’t believe it.

“Go away little boy,” that woman breathed, reattaching herself to Gerard’s neck.

“My name is Frank, you whore,” I spat, my shock turning to anger automatically. Gerard’s eyes opened at the mention of my name.

“Frankie?” he said confused. He felt the constant thing on his neck and turned. He saw the woman, and she smiled a lust filled smile and tried to kiss his mouth. His eyes widened and he pulled away from her, falling on the floor, dazed as he hit his head. She cackled and went down on him, straddling his waist. He shuffled around, and she let out a loud fake moan. I stood there routed to the spot, watching and shaking as my eyes filled with tears. I allowed them to flutter shut and silent lines of my grief rolled down my cheeks in the form of salty tears. Gerard was still dazed, but I heard the woman cry out as he roughly pushed aside. He got up, head swimming and saw me standing there silently crying. He ran over and pulled me into a hug. I pushed against his chest, pulling myself free. I looked at him with stained eyes. His eyes were beautiful, but full of pain and regret.

“Frankie…” he whispered, his hands reaching for mine.

“How could you Gee?” I asked him, a little of my previous anger returning.

“Frankie, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to,” he said, starting to cry.

“Gerard you looked like you were enjoying it,” I mumbled, staring at the floor.

“I wasn’t, I was confused,” he pleaded, his voice breaking.

“Please, I love you,” he whispered, looking deep into my eyes.

“I need some time,” I said, my heart breaking with each word. He broke into pitiful sobs, falling on his knees. He tried to grab my legs, rubbing his head against my leg, mumbling soft pleas. I cried harder, I didn’t want to do this. I wanted to pick him off the floor and kiss him, but I couldn’t let him just get away with this. I couldn’t be his doormat, even though he didn’t see it like that, and he didn’t treat me like I was his doormat, I had to set guidelines and boundaries. He’d do the same to me though, right?
I pulled away from Gerard and he fell to the floor, sobbing at my shoes. He looked at me with his big dark eyes, filled with sorrow. I so badly wanted to pick him up and hold him close. I pulled myself to the door, feeling my heart break with every step.

“Frankie, please,” he gasped between sobs.

“Gee, I’m not saying we’re over.” He stopped sobbing and sat up.

“R-really?”

“Yeah, I just need time to think, a break.” I said, giving him the tiniest of smiles, giving him hope. He deserves it because he’s given me so much hope.

“I love you,” I whispered, blowing him a kiss and leaving. I breathed and leaned against the far wall. I heard crashing from inside the room, and then that woman said something, and I desparately wanted to hear what was going on. I pressed my ear up to the door to hear what was going on.

“I don’t know why you want that faggot, you could have me,” the woman purred.

“Don’t call Frankie that,” Gerard spat.

“Why not?” she challenged.

“When you call Frankie that you call me it,” he said, I could almost taste the venom dripping from his lips. I could almost taste his lips.

“But you could be better,” she cooed.

“I don’t want to hear it. You might have screwed up the best thing in my life.” he spat.

“That’s not the only thing of yours I want to screw.” I heard some stomping, and the door flew open, knocking me to the floor.

“Frankie,” he said, in a whisper.

“Sorry Gee,” I mumbled getting up.

“I’m the one who has to be sorry.” He said, not taking his eyes off me.

“Right, well I’m going to go now.”

“Frankie, what about the apartment?” He asked, holding his breath.

“I still plan on moving in with you,” was all I said, and I walked away feeling his small sigh of relief more than hearing it.