I Need Him, My Gerard

I sat on a bench, very close to the cemetery, and waited. I was so nervous I was shaking. I thought Gerard might have been drinking recently, and Mikey had complained about it often enough, but I never thought he would ask me to drink with him. I will do it though, because it’s better if I’m with him, he can get into less trouble. I see a dark figure walking over to me, clutching a bag. It’s Gerard. He sat down next to me, and opened a bottle in the bag. He took a swig, and handed it to me. I really was happy to share his drink. I took a swig and gagged loudly, making him laugh. We polished off the whole bottle. Gerard makes a lousy drunk. Mind you so am I. The next day I went back to Gerard’s. I wasn’t sure what we were going to do though. His mum answered the door.

“Hi Mrs. Way, is Gerard in?”

“Yes Frank, go right down.”
She smiled at me, and then wandered back into the kitchen. I walked down into the basement, and knocked on his door.

“Gerard, open up its Frank.”
There was no answer, so I pushed the door open and walked in. He wasn’t here, so I sat on his bed and waited for him to come back. I sat and looked around the dark rooms I know so well. I heard the boards outside the room creak, and waited for Gerard to come in. The door swung open and Gerard walked in, dripping wet with a small towel wrapped around his waist, not covering much.

“Holy Crap! Frank what’re you doing here?” Gerard said, going scarlet and running behind the door, but not before I saw him in all his glory.

“You’re mum said you were down here, sorry, I thought we were doing something
Today.” I said, wondering why I was suddenly frazzled.

“Oh, well do you mind leaving whilst I get dressed please, we’re not THAT close.” His words hurt me, even though they were true.

“Oh yeah, sorry.” I said, shuffling past him, touching him as I went past. He shuffled into his room, and shut the door. I heard the towel drop to the floor. Oh crap. I felt something tighten in my jeans. That shouldn’t happen. I ran to the bathroom. I got down on my knees and relieved myself quickly; ashamed about what had just happened.
I went back to Gerard’s room and knocked on the door.

“Oh sorry, you can come in now.” I went into his room and sat next to him on the bed. I put my hand on his leg, and told him not to worry about what happened before.

“Yeah, thanks.” He said, “I’m sorry, that was kind of embarrassing.”

“No it’s not, you saw me in my pretty boxers.” I laughed. He laughed too. But inside I was thinking. My body wouldn’t have done that if I hadn’t been provoked. By Gerard?

Later on, when I got home I went to my room. I opened my desk draw, and took out the photographs I took of Gerard and Mikey. I found the one I was looking for, Gerard waving at the cameraman, me.
I sat on my bed and looked at it. Is it true? Do I fancy Gerard? It would make sense, they way I thought about him. But I’m pretty sure I’m not gay, I have checked. I look at men, trying to judge them the way I judge women, but I couldn’t. Men are just men, but then there is Gerard.

I wonder if I can approach him in the same way as I have in the past. I don’t feel any different, but if ‘that’ is going to happen whenever he’s around, I might have to rethink our relationship.
Mikey is getting back from camp tomorrow, so I guess I’ll have to go and welcome him home or he’d be really upset. So I guess if I wear tight jeans to hold everything in, and a baggy hoodie to hide it, I can go and not have to worry.
I arrived at Gerard’s early this morning with a little present I had picked up for Mikey. Gerard answered the door, and I went in.
“Hi Gerard.” I said. He didn’t reply. He just looked at me and took my hand. He led me down to his room. He sat down on the bed, pulling me down with him. I was puzzled, but I kind of liked it.
“What’s up?” I said.

“Look Frankie, I’m going to be straight with you. I’m not stupid. I saw your little thing yesterday.”

“What thing?” I said, hoping he meant something different.

“Your little soldier came up to say hello.”

“Oh yeah. That thing.”

“Anyway, I have to talk to you about it. I can’t have that going on, you understand?”

“Yeah but I can’t exactly help it.”

“But I think its sick you know. I mean, I don’t like you perving on my mum like that,”

“Your mum? No Gerard, you’ve got it wrong. It wasn’t your mum that did that.”

“It wasn’t. Oh Frankie, I’m so sorry,” he looked genuinely embarrassed. “What was it then?”

“It was… It was you Gerard.”
I said my head down. I glanced over to Gerard. He had a serious expression on his face. Eventually he spoke.
“So I turned you on, huh?” He grinned. “Wow, I’ve never turned anyone on before. So, do you have a crush on me or something?”

“I’m not sure, I think so.” I blushed.
“What now?” There was a long silence. Then he reached over and kissed me hard on the lips.

“What was that for?” I asked, shocked.

“I just wanted to check something.” he looked down.

“Check what?” I asked puzzled. I followed his eye line, right to my crotch. Yep, sure enough, there was a nice hard bulge.

“So it really is me that does that. Interesting.” He laughed at my pained expression.

“Gerard, have you ever had one of these?”

“No.”

“It hurts like hell. I hope you get one in a public place. Soon.”