I Need Him, My Gerard

“Hey Gerard,” I muttered, and he looked up, his eyes cloudy and his cheeks stained with tear tracks and eyeliner.

“F-Frankie, I-I I’m so so-so-sorry,” he cried, and I shook my head.

“No you’re not sorry about doing it Gerard, you wanted to do it when you got with him, when you phoned me and lied about it. You’re sorry that you got caught.” I said, and he shook his head violently, moving off the bed and hitting the floor on his knees.

“No Frankie, I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you, I was just so lonely and he came onto me. I couldn’t stop it. He means nothing to me baby, I love you, I’ve only been with him like a week, I’ve been with you for years and years, and I want to be with you for ever. Forever and ever Frankie, remember that?” He asked, and I heard a tiny sob from outside. Of course, Nigel was listening, and it must have hurt like hell to hear Gerard say he meant nothing to him.

“I need time to think Gerard, I might come back later, I said, before walking out the room, leaving him whimpering my name on the floor. Outside, I found Nigel crying lightly.

“I’m going home now, be strong ok?” I said to him, and he nodded lightly before going into the room as I went down the hall and out the building. Then I went right back into the hall and outside their room, where the door was still open. I sank down and sat on the floor, listening into their conversation.

“Gerard I heard what you just said out there. Do I mean nothing to you?” Nigel asked sadly.

“You know damn well you don’t mean anything to me and never have bitch. The only reason I’m here is because they’ll hurt Frankie if I don’t stay with you, and now thanks to you he’s gone. I swear Nigel, if anything happens to him I’ll kill you myself.” Gerard yelled, and I could here the venom dripping from his voice.

“Don’t worry Gee baby nothing will happen to your precious Frankie. If you hadn’t come to me and got drugs you couldn’t pay for you wouldn’t be in this mess now would you? So don’t blame me.” Nigel said, and I gasped. Gerard had gone to those drugs again because when he’s here he can’t go to me when he’s depressed.

“Look, how long to I have to stay here as your bitch or whatever until I’ve worked it off huh?”

“I don’t know Gee, six thousand dollars is a lot of money,” he said, and Gerard whimpered.

“Please Nigel, I can’t take it anymore,” Tough luck babe, now turn around.”

“N-No,” he said shakily, and I heard a slap followed by a whimper, Gerard’s whimper.

“Turn around or I’ll make you,” Nigel hissed.

“O-Ok please, please don’t hurt me again.” he cried.

“Well, thanks to your little Frankie, who gave us some lube, it won’t hurt quite so bad,” he muttered, and I squeezed my eyes shut. Then I got up and ran to the nearest cash machine, drawing out all six thousand, three hundred dollars in my account. Then I ran back, to find the door had been closed. I knocked again, and heard some moaning and crying from inside. Then Nigel shouted a profanity, and I heard muffled voices.

“Stay right there bitch, I’ll just see who this is,” Nigel muttered, and I gritted my teeth. How dare he treat my Gerard this way?

“Oh it’s you Frankie? What can I do for you?” Nigel asked sweetly, a pair of boxers hanging off him, and it made me feel physically sick knowing they were Gerard’s, a pair I bought him a few years back for Christmas.

“I’m here to see Gerard, I said I’d be back after some thinking time,” I said, and his eyes widened slightly.

“Look for yourself, and I think you can clearly see we are still together, so you should just leave and forget about him.”

“I can’t, we live together,” I said, and he smirked.

“He won’t ever be coming back to live in Jersey, he’s moving in with me after we graduate, you should go. Gerard will tell you to leave himself, won’t you Gee?” he said, and I went in to where Gerard was sitting wrapped in the sheets, looking small and scared.

“Get out of here Frankie, you can’t be near me,” he stuttered, and I rolled my eyes.

“Look, you guys can cut the crap out. I heard everything before. Nigel, here’s six thousand dollars to pay Gerard’s drug debts off, now you can leave us alone and Gerard, you are coming home baby,” I said, shoving the money at Nigel and going over to hug Gerard.

“No wait, Gerard, you can’t leave, I love you. I hoped after you spent time as my boyfriend you’d love me to,” he said, quietly, and Gerard coughed as he got dressed and packed his stuff.

“How could I love someone who beats and rapes me? I have the most wonderful boyfriend in the world, why would I want you? Sorry Nigel, but I’m going now, stay away from me.”

“You’ll be back as soon as you need more drugs baby, I’ll be here,” he said, and I gripped Gerard’s hand. Then we just walked out, leaving him there and getting in the taxi I had waiting.

“Thanks Frankie, I’m so sorry.” he mumbled, tears in his eyes.

“It’s ok Gee, sorry I doubted you,” I said, wiping the tears away.

“No Frankie, I would have doubted me to. I love you and I’m so sorry.”

“Me too. I love you Gerard, lets just get home now, ok?”

“Yeah. Thanks for looking after me.”

“I always will, Gee, forever and ever.”