But Maybe We'll Live Forever

A few hours were spent lounging around and waiting for Dr. Death-Defying to finish my gun and jacket. We spent the time watching Show Pony entertain Grace in the most adorable ways and talking to one another, just relaxing.

Finally, the guy called for me to come in.

The guys all turned and smiled at me, nodding their heads and telling me to go on in. I rushed into the cabin without another word.

There was Dr. D, holding up a purple jacket. The ‘no love’ symbol was placed right above where my heard would be. He turned it around and showed me my symbol on the back. He was also holding a purple gun with the same custom Killjoy symbol on it.

I felt a huge, stupid grin crossing my face.

“Come on, queenie,” Dr. D said. “Take ‘em.”

I took them slowly, staring at them. I smiled even wider as I turned the jacket and the gun over in my hands, realizing how real they were.

“Well, don’t just stand there,” he said, laughing a little. “Put on the jacket! Put the gun in your belt! Then get on out there and wow your public.”

I did so, slowly slipping the jacket on my shoulders and putting the gun in my belt. I felt like a new person now; like it was official. Shelby was gone – for good. The life I could’ve had was just a dream. I was a Killjoy. I was Atomic Battery, a fabulous Killjoy with a mission.

Dr. D took a hold of my shoulders and turned me around, where I saw myself in the mirror.

I almost started crying at the sight of myself and turned around, hugging Dr. Death-Defying tightly. He chuckled softly and hugged me back, patting my shoulder. “Alright, ya little neon junkie. Get out there and show them boys how you look in uniform.”

“Thank you!” I said, hugging him again.

“You’re welcome,” Dr. D replied coolly, smiling at me.

Finally, he ushered me out. I took a deep breath and walked back to the group of Killjoys. I felt all their eyes on me as I walked over and sat down at the same place I’d been sitting before, beside Party Poison.

“So, what did I miss?” I asked awkwardly.

“Atomic, you…” Party was looking me up and down. “You look… great.”

“You’re so pretty!” Grace chimed.

Bulletproof liberation smiled and agreed quietly.

All the guys began saying stuff now about how I looked. How great it was, how I was one of them, how fantastic I looked, I was so fabulous, a fabulous Killjoy, how did I feel, isn’t it great, you look so good in that color, wow you’re beautiful, etc.

I pulled out my gun and showed it to Grace, who began jumping up and down, excited. She began babbling about how she wanted one so bad and could she get one next birthday PLEASE?

All the guys looked at it, too, nodding in approval and examining it through critical eyes. They all seemed to like it well enough, which made me feel good. Although I didn’t know why. I still wasn’t a hundred percent sure I liked these guys, but I guess I had to suck it up – I was one of them, and I had to let it all go.

“So,” Party Poison said, smiling at me lightly. “You wanna learn how to use that pretty little weapon?”

I looked down at it, then back up to him. And suddenly, right then, it was real. I owned a ray gun. It was my own. I had a gun of my own – customized, even – and I might… oh screw ‘might’ – I would end up using it at some point. A gun. I was going to shoot someone!

“Come on,” Party said, nudging me. “Stop looking so traumatized. It’s actually pretty fun once you get the hang of it. Seriously, Atomic, get that look off your face. You’re not setting a good example for the kid.”

I almost started laughing at that. I looked at him and saw that he also had some humor shining in his own eyes, though he didn’t quite wear a smile.

Party grabbed my arm and pulled me up. “Alright, guys,” he said, his voice full of authority. “I’m taking Atomic out for a shooting lesson. We should be back in a few hours. If we’re not, you know what happened.”

Everyone looked at one another.

“Dracs?” Grace said.

“No,” Party Poison said, sounding dead serious. “Atomic Battery shot and killed me accidentally and is too ashamed to come back.”

Everyone laughed heartily as he pulled me out of the fortress.

We got in the car and drove out a little farther, far enough away to not really see the fortress, let alone the road. We parked in a random spot and Party Poison got out, walking over and opening the door for me. He helped me out of the car like a gentleman.

“Alright,” Party Poison said. He took out his own gun. I took note of how he held it. “So, it’s pretty simple, but if you’re new to it you can miss some things, so that’s why I’m helping you out here. We’ve all had to be taught how to use a ray gun, so don’t get embarrassed if you do something wrong, okay?”

I nodded nervously. “Um, okay.”

“Okay, so before I show you how to exactly do it, how do you think it’s done?” He looked at me curiously but smartly, like how a math teacher does when asking a student the answer to a problem the teacher’s done himself a thousand times and knows the answer to.

I pulled out my gun and did my best to hold it the way Party Poison did. So far, he didn’t object, which made me feel like I was holding it right. I aimed it at him.

“Woah there! Woah! Watch where you point that! Especially if you’re in training – if you accidentally pulled the trigger, I would be dead.” Party Poison’s eyes were wide, and I could tell he was holding back some laughter.

“Sorry,” I mumbled, pointing it in the opposite direction.

“Okay, so pull the trigger.”

“What?”

“You heard me. Pull the trigger.”

I shifted on my feet and held my arm forward, aiming at nothing in particular. I shut my eyes tightly and pulled the trigger. I heard a noise and felt a jolt, making me stumble backwards. I kicked up some dust into my face which made me cough.

“Woah, there, girl. You okay?” Party Poison asked. I felt his arms around my shoulders, pulling me up and helping me steady myself. He pulled out some water and handed it to me. “Here you go.”

I drank down the water, which helped my cough. “Sorry,” I said.

“It’s fine. You’re new at this.”

“I guess.”

“Stop looking so scared and sad.”

“Sorry.”

He sighed and smiled a little. “Alright, alright. So, first of all, never close your eyes when you’re shooting. Ever. Keep them open, you never know what’s going to happen. So don’t close your eyes, that’s the first thing you gotta change.”

I nodded. “Right. Eyes open. Got it.” I shifted on my feet a little. I felt really stupid now. Shouldn’t I have known not to close my eyes or something? I mean, really, in retrospect that was really stupid. I’m so stupid. I’m—

“Secondly, be prepared for the jolt. If you’re not prepared, you’re gonna stumble back.”

“Uh, okay.”

“Alright, let’s try again.” Party demonstrated, shooting his perfectly, like a pro. I sighed as I watched him. How could someone be so sure of himself like that? It didn’t make any sense to me.

I held my gun and aimed, doing my best to keep my eyes open.

“Try not to shake. You’re shaking. Here.” Party came up behind me and put his arms over mine, putting his hands over mine and arranging them better on the trigger. He held me in place so I wouldn’t shake. “Ready?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Okay, and… shoot.”

We pulled the trigger at the same time, and a beam shot out of the gun and into the vast desert.

Party Poison smiled and pulled away from me. He steadied me for a moment. “That’s good,” he said quietly. I wasn’t sure what he was thinking. I wanted to know. Something about his face looked… I don’t know. Like he was searching for something.

“Thanks,” I said, shifting on my feet.

“Alright, so, now you try.”

I did.

Perfectly.

Party Poison smiled and nodded. “Good. Wow, you’re a fast learner. It took me a little longer. But you know us men, we’re always pretty stupid.” He gave me that look again, that look like he was holding back.

I laughed. “I guess so. But thanks for, uh, teaching me. We should probably get back though, what time is it…?”

Party Poison shrugged and started back to the car.

“Hey, wait up!”