If I Wake up Tomorrow, Will You Still Be Here?
Chapter Three.
The light coming through her wall to floor windows was still dark. The pretty glitter that was caused by the stars filtered through, brightening her face and accentuating her bright blue eyes. She smiled, "Dinner's probably burnt."
He laughed, "Dinner is the last thing on my mind."
"I better go turn the stove off anyway. You know, in case my apartment sets alight." Her feet hit the wooden floor of her bedroom, and she let out a small shiver. His hand outstretched from his chest to gently plant his fingers atop her spine, brushing upwards to the base of her hairline. This caused her to shiver again.
Music still wafted in from the living room, the faint sounds of his voice reaching his ears. She loved his music and quietly sung the lyrics, "She rose out of her seat like a painted ghost, she was the woman that I wanted the most. As she reached for my arm, I gave her my hand, I said, 'Lay me down easy, let me understand'."
He smiled again, his smile crooked and imperfect but amazing all the same. She wrapped the black sheets around her bare body and took a step towards the bedroom door. She turned back to face him, skipping over to plant a gentle kiss on his lips. This made him smile again, and his chest stretch forward to capacitate his racing heartbeat.
She skipped back towards the door, silently leaving the room. Leaving him. He sighed. This would never happen again, his heart wouldn't feel whole again. She was too caring and compassionate to hurt either Kristen or Kellan again. She would wake up tomorrow and feel sick, knowing that she had now hurt two more people.
So he let the nights memories linger in his mind, and made the decision to embrace the next few hours until he was ordered to leave. Which he knew, would happen.
She returned and his heart began beating faster than before. She looked breathtaking, the black silk cotton wrapped tightly around her body, her bronze shoulders naked and exposed, her hair tied up in a ponytail above her head and her crystal blue eyes gazing between him and the white envelope tucked between her black painted nails.
"I don't want you to read that," he whispered.
"I think its only fair," she responded, a light laugh escaping.
"You're such a -" he paused, "such a -"
"Hmm?" she asked, laughing as she bounded towards the bed, curling herself up next to him, "You know you're going to let me, Rob. So let's skip the argument and let me read it."
He nodded, laughter coming from his lips. She rested her head upon his chest, his hand brushing through her silken hair.
She ripped the envelope gently, removing the paper and unfolding it slowly. Her mouth opened, her eyes scanning the page and she began,
"Zoe,
I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know why I'm writing to you, so just bear with me."
Her voice sounded angelic saying his words. She paused to stare at him, smiling softly.
"I miss you. I miss us. I know there is nothing I can possibly say to fix the awful things I've done to you, but I want you to know that there was nothing I wanted more than you for the past year and I will always want you. I'm not making sense, am I?
You still get me tongue-tied, I guess.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I still crave you, that I still want to wake up to your face everyday. To fall asleep next to you, to hear you speak when you dream. I want to step foot inside your home and feel overwhelmed knowing that this is where I belong. I want to come home to you, to your cooking, to your balcony, to us. I want to start a family, like we tried to and marry you and ... this is all coming out wrong.
I think about Tyler every single day.
I think about you every single day.
How we could've been a family if everything hadn't happened the way it did.
I was stupid, a complete fucking idiot. I want you to know it wasn't your fault. I want you to know I miss you, and I want you. Please, just call me okay?
Please...
Love always,
Rob.".
She looked up at him with watering eyes. He noticed her heart had stopped.
"Are you okay?" he whispered.
"Tyler? How dare you bring up Tyler! You're the reason there is no Tyler!" She jumped out of bed, her heart racing now.
"Calm down. I'm so sorry. I just wanted you to know that I think about him all the time," Rob plealded, stepping out of bed too.
"You think about him? You weren't there, Rob. You were off with Kristen! I lost him, I stood there at the fucking doctors when he told me my baby boy, my last connection to you," she spat that word out like it was poisonous, "was gone. I had to deal with that by myself! I had no one!"
He knew he had hit her sore spot, and he shook with anger at himself, "I'm so sorry."
"You're sorry! You didn't even call me! I left you a million messages saying the little boy that we had tried for for two years had died, was dead inside me. I had to give birth to him! Do you know how fucking hard that was?! In a fucking hospital room, alone, giving birth to my still baby boy! You didn't even see him! He looked exactly like you, Rob, exactly," her tone softened, "he had your hair, copper, everywhere, messy. He had your face. I went through that alone. You don't have a fucking right to think about Tyler."
"He was my son too!"
"Well you didn't act like a fucking father," she spat.
With that she marched out of the room, the sheet still wrapped tightly around her body. He heard the balcony door slam fiercly and he thought it better to sit and calm himself down. He knew she was right, about everything. He silently got dressed and went to walk out of the bedroom door himself, but the reflection in the mirror caught him. Had his son really looked like him?
He felt like an asshole. He wanted to make things right with Zoe, make her forgive him for being such a complete and fucking cunt. Thats what he was, a cunt. He sighed, scratching his neck in confusion. What the hell could he do to make this up to her?
He decided to talk to her, stepping outside of the bedroom and down the hall, reaching the balcony and seeing her standing next to the balcony rail, puffing vehemently on a cigarette. The door slid open yet she refused to look at him. He sighed. This was going to be one long night.
He laughed, "Dinner is the last thing on my mind."
"I better go turn the stove off anyway. You know, in case my apartment sets alight." Her feet hit the wooden floor of her bedroom, and she let out a small shiver. His hand outstretched from his chest to gently plant his fingers atop her spine, brushing upwards to the base of her hairline. This caused her to shiver again.
Music still wafted in from the living room, the faint sounds of his voice reaching his ears. She loved his music and quietly sung the lyrics, "She rose out of her seat like a painted ghost, she was the woman that I wanted the most. As she reached for my arm, I gave her my hand, I said, 'Lay me down easy, let me understand'."
He smiled again, his smile crooked and imperfect but amazing all the same. She wrapped the black sheets around her bare body and took a step towards the bedroom door. She turned back to face him, skipping over to plant a gentle kiss on his lips. This made him smile again, and his chest stretch forward to capacitate his racing heartbeat.
She skipped back towards the door, silently leaving the room. Leaving him. He sighed. This would never happen again, his heart wouldn't feel whole again. She was too caring and compassionate to hurt either Kristen or Kellan again. She would wake up tomorrow and feel sick, knowing that she had now hurt two more people.
So he let the nights memories linger in his mind, and made the decision to embrace the next few hours until he was ordered to leave. Which he knew, would happen.
She returned and his heart began beating faster than before. She looked breathtaking, the black silk cotton wrapped tightly around her body, her bronze shoulders naked and exposed, her hair tied up in a ponytail above her head and her crystal blue eyes gazing between him and the white envelope tucked between her black painted nails.
"I don't want you to read that," he whispered.
"I think its only fair," she responded, a light laugh escaping.
"You're such a -" he paused, "such a -"
"Hmm?" she asked, laughing as she bounded towards the bed, curling herself up next to him, "You know you're going to let me, Rob. So let's skip the argument and let me read it."
He nodded, laughter coming from his lips. She rested her head upon his chest, his hand brushing through her silken hair.
She ripped the envelope gently, removing the paper and unfolding it slowly. Her mouth opened, her eyes scanning the page and she began,
"Zoe,
I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know why I'm writing to you, so just bear with me."
Her voice sounded angelic saying his words. She paused to stare at him, smiling softly.
"I miss you. I miss us. I know there is nothing I can possibly say to fix the awful things I've done to you, but I want you to know that there was nothing I wanted more than you for the past year and I will always want you. I'm not making sense, am I?
You still get me tongue-tied, I guess.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I still crave you, that I still want to wake up to your face everyday. To fall asleep next to you, to hear you speak when you dream. I want to step foot inside your home and feel overwhelmed knowing that this is where I belong. I want to come home to you, to your cooking, to your balcony, to us. I want to start a family, like we tried to and marry you and ... this is all coming out wrong.
I think about Tyler every single day.
I think about you every single day.
How we could've been a family if everything hadn't happened the way it did.
I was stupid, a complete fucking idiot. I want you to know it wasn't your fault. I want you to know I miss you, and I want you. Please, just call me okay?
Please...
Love always,
Rob.".
She looked up at him with watering eyes. He noticed her heart had stopped.
"Are you okay?" he whispered.
"Tyler? How dare you bring up Tyler! You're the reason there is no Tyler!" She jumped out of bed, her heart racing now.
"Calm down. I'm so sorry. I just wanted you to know that I think about him all the time," Rob plealded, stepping out of bed too.
"You think about him? You weren't there, Rob. You were off with Kristen! I lost him, I stood there at the fucking doctors when he told me my baby boy, my last connection to you," she spat that word out like it was poisonous, "was gone. I had to deal with that by myself! I had no one!"
He knew he had hit her sore spot, and he shook with anger at himself, "I'm so sorry."
"You're sorry! You didn't even call me! I left you a million messages saying the little boy that we had tried for for two years had died, was dead inside me. I had to give birth to him! Do you know how fucking hard that was?! In a fucking hospital room, alone, giving birth to my still baby boy! You didn't even see him! He looked exactly like you, Rob, exactly," her tone softened, "he had your hair, copper, everywhere, messy. He had your face. I went through that alone. You don't have a fucking right to think about Tyler."
"He was my son too!"
"Well you didn't act like a fucking father," she spat.
With that she marched out of the room, the sheet still wrapped tightly around her body. He heard the balcony door slam fiercly and he thought it better to sit and calm himself down. He knew she was right, about everything. He silently got dressed and went to walk out of the bedroom door himself, but the reflection in the mirror caught him. Had his son really looked like him?
He felt like an asshole. He wanted to make things right with Zoe, make her forgive him for being such a complete and fucking cunt. Thats what he was, a cunt. He sighed, scratching his neck in confusion. What the hell could he do to make this up to her?
He decided to talk to her, stepping outside of the bedroom and down the hall, reaching the balcony and seeing her standing next to the balcony rail, puffing vehemently on a cigarette. The door slid open yet she refused to look at him. He sighed. This was going to be one long night.