Eyes Like Sunsets

Six hours and thirty-three minutes and I'm finally here, in Colorado Springs. Calling the place beautiful was an understatement. As much as I didn't want to be here, I had to give the place credit. It was done up nicely, except for the hicks I saw walking around and the fact that I hadn't seen one school yet. I sang along with the Bravery, on the radio, as I drove up into the driveway of my future home, with my dad. What felt like hours of waiting in the car, was only mere minutes. I sighed, ready to face my doom, and pulled the key from the ignition and hopped out of my car, slamming the door shut behind me.

I contemplated whether to run back to my car and stay in a model but, realized soon after that cowardice and I don't go along so well. I walked up the nice stairwell and rang the doorbell, hoping no one would answer. How unfortunately wrong I was. The minute the door opened I was engulfed in big hugs coming from my father and my step-brother Lucas.
“Gwynneith! I've missed you so much!' I cringed at the use of my full name, spoken by my dad.
“Nice to see you too Dad, both of you!” I said, deciding not to correct my dad for saying Gwynneith.
“So how have you been since, well.. you know? How have you been holding up?” Lucas asked me with sad eyes.
“As okay as anyone is in the aftermath of their mom's death.” I said a little to harshly.
Lucas looked taken aback, “I'm sorry little sis, I didn't mean to be rude.” He apologized, averting his eyes.
“No, it's my fault I shouldn't be so bitter, I'm glad to be here, really I am.” I lied, looking down at my worn converse in hopes of masking the lie.
“Well that's great honey!” My dad beamed, “Dinner's on the table, let's eat!”
“But I need to be my stuff...!” I exclaimed eagerly.
“After dinner Gwen, don't want to keep your step-mother waiting! She's so exited to see you after all this time!” I think my dad should win the most-happy person award, literally nothing can ruin his day.
“Actually Dad, I go by Wynne but, you can call me Gwen if you want...” I offered
“Nonsense, if you say you go by Wynne then Wynne it is.” My dad explained, ushering me off to the kitchen.

I noticed how far of a walk from the entrance to the kitchen was. And on my way there I took a moment to pause and admire the lovely paintings in the house. I saw paintings from Monet, Sisley, Pissarro and Bazille. 'They must really be into impressionist style artists', I thought to myself as I entered the kitchen. I stood in the doorway awkwardly, first taking in the scent of fresh stuffed chicken and catching a whiff of cooking crème brûlée. Gazing around the modern-style kitchen, I noticed all my step-brothers were staring at me, all four of them. I cleared my throat nervously and took a seat next to Lucas.
“Luke, this is awkward.” I told him in a hushed tone.
“It's alright little sis, you'll bet used to the weirdness of this family at some point.” Lucas offered, smiling sheepishly before glaring at his brothers. Soon after our exchange, Gardenia, my dad's wife entered the room.
“Gwynneith!” Gardenia yelled happily, “I'm so glad to see you! It's been awhile! Come over here and give me a hug!” She pursued me, I didn't oblige. I was beginning to think that this family had happy problems, seriously.

I reluctantly stood up and carefully walked over to her, slightly tripping in the process. I inwardly groaned and cursed my clumsiness. Shortly after my failure, I approached the counter and threw my arms around Gardenia, awkwardly.
“I've missed you a lot baby girl!” She exclaimed, brushing the hair out of my face. “My, my your hair just keeps growing! It's down to your waist!”
“I've missed you too... and yeah, I haven't cut it since 7th grade, last time you saw me. I'm a junior now.” I explained half-heartedly, shrugging.

Just to save the moment from becoming more awkward, my father rushed in the room, apologizing for whatever he had been doing. “Let's eat!” He cheered, bringing over the plates of food to the table. I took my seat by Lucas again and reached for the green beans, suddenly exited that they were there. I love green beans. I eat them like it's my job, literally. And if to make my day any worse, the moment I started scooping them Lucas nudged me. I looked up and realized everyone was staring at me.
My dad cleared his throat, “Wynne honey, we need to say Grace first.”
“Uh... oh. Okay sorry.” I flushed, my face turning a deep scarlet. From the look on Lucas' face he was pretty amused by what just happened. I elbowed him in the stomach and held my hand out for him to hold, for Grace. On my other side a little hand grabbed mine, belonging to Gabriel, my three year old step-brother. I grinned at him and bowed my head for prayer.
“Bless us O Lord with these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ Our Lord amen.” Gardenia finished her prayer with the addition of, 'let the feast begin!'

I reached for the green beans again and finished scooping them onto my plate. Next, I grabbed a chunk of chicken stuffed with Cajun seasonings and Parmesan cheese. I cut into the meat, intoxicated by the delightful taste it brought to my mouth. I could taste spicy, sweet and salty all at once.
“This is insane Gardenia! I've never tasted anything like this!” I complimented her.
Gardenia seemed clearly proud from the genuine smile on her face. “Thank you deary, I made it special just for you! Your father told me how you like chicken a lot.” I smiled back at her and quietly thanked my dad for making the suggestion.
“So, Wynne... you want to be a cook right?” My dad asked me, remembering what I told him four years ago over the phone. I smiled at him, glad he remembered.
“Yes actually, even after all this time.” I responded, blushing slightly.
“Really?” Gardenia asked, “that's fantastic! You wouldn't mind helping me cook dinners then would you?”
“Not at all, I actually have a lot of recipes I made myself and I've been told I make excellent flan and ratatouille.” I bragged.
“Well how about for tomorrow you make ratatouille for the appetizer, then flan for dessert?” Dad asked, hope in his eyes. I knew that ratatouille was his favorite and he rarely got it.
“Anything for you dad!” I'll just need to go to the store tomorrow morning for all the ingredients. It will take me awhile to make... seven of them.” I finished, realizing how difficult this task might be.
“Do whatever you need and take your time. And also, what time are you going to start them do you think...?” Gardenia questioned.
“If we're eating at seven like we are now... five probably.” I answered, “why?”
“Well tomorrow I was thinking of taking you to the Garden of the Gods down in Maritou Springs. It's phenomenally beautiful there and I know you will like it! I also know your exceptionally good at photography so I was hoping you could take some wonderful photos too...” Gardenia stated, trying to make me feel right at home.
“That's actually a good idea! I looked into tourist attractions around here yesterday and that was one of my top spots. And if you don't mind, I'd like to go to Sevens Falls too? But... I would go there to write and be alone to reflect and such so I can just drive myself there but... going to Garden of the Gods with you sounds like a good bonding activity!” I said, sugar-coating the truth.

It's not like I didn't like Gardenia because, I do. She's a great step-mom. It's just a lot to handle right now and I'd rather settle in then go places right away. I grinned at Gardenia as she told me that 'whatever I'd like to do is fine with her,' then she shot off into another conversation about work with my dad. I zoned off for the rest of dinner, focusing on the song I wanted to write.



After dinner it was a hectic mess. Charles, Duke and Gabriel were running around like mad, chasing each other claiming to be playing, 'tag.' Lucas was doing his homework, and dad and Gardenia were cleaning the kitchen. I took this as my free time to bring my boxes inside and to the room I'd stayed in multiple times before.

I didn't really get the time to unpack before sleep overthrew me. I brushed my silky light blonde hair and pulled it tight into a french braid, spending a good 10 minutes on it. I admired the beauty of the braid and it's length before bleaching my teeth. I walked back into my room, pulled my sheets down, closed the blinds and threw my journal and guitar on my bed. I skipped back into the bathroom roughly five minutes later, brushed the bleach off my teeth and threw myself on the bed.

First time I'd attempted to write a song in about two weeks, it felt good to be able to strum my guitar again. After all the paperwork and housework I had to fill out for my mom's death, it was hard to do anything but eat sleep and do work. Not to mention I had to go to school too.

I looked down at my freckled arms and started to strum on my guitar:

If time had been on my side maybe once
I could've avoided all the pain I suffer
The days that went by turned to months
If time wouldn't been on my side, I would've been tougher

I strummed a chord progression, instantly satisfied by the first verse and the chords I'd come up with.

I turned away from all I believed in
Reeled closer to the darkness beneath me
If only I would've opened my eyes to see
Not all bad things begin with a sin

I decided to stir it up a little, plucking a few strings here and there and turning the chords I'd made into a drastic pattern.

Maybe God choose me to feel this way
To understand the worlds deceiving ways
Perhaps he wanted to show me what it's like
To be ungrateful to the life everyone forgot

I itched out a few words of my pre-chorus before becoming satisfied with it. I muted it at first before enhancing the volume, preparing for the chorus

If I would've had that one spark of happiness
I could've shown the world my greatness
Took the world by storm, just being me
Well I guess life's that not easy
If the sorrow hadn't overtaken my life
I don't think I'd of turned out this way
But I guess, for now,
I'll have to show the world my fake smile

I belted out the chorus in a strong voice I wasn't used to hearing.

Conceit and betrayal play big roles in my life
No matter how I try to avoid them, they come back to smite me
If I would've shut my mouth and been concise
I couldn't avoided the hatred that seeks me

I spat venom out as I sung and wrote down this part. Remembering the betrayal I'd felt from my best friend right before the move. I felt those deadly tears prick my eyes again but, I pushed them back remembering my moto, 'the strongest hold back the tears that threaten to spill whilst the weak let the good Lord do their will.'

But I guess, I shouldn't be surprised
It was sure to happen, some time or another
My unfortunate, bounded to me to rise
I would never wish this on any other

Maybe God choose this path for me
To show me that life's worth living
To after to able to unleash that power within thee
I wish I could be that forgiving

I took a moment to scribble down all I'd just sang before singing the chorus again.

If I would've had that one spark of happiness
I could've shown the world my greatness
Took the world by storm, just being me
Well I guess life's that not easy
If the sorrow hadn't overtaken my life
I don't think I'd of turned out this way
But I guess, for now,
I'll have to show the world my fake smile

I choose a different path for the bridge, deciding to make it the calm after the storm instean\d of the calm before the storm.

Maybe I ought to light a fire
It'll burn deep with unfathomable desire
I'll watch it burn, potent and strong
Unable to understand how I could be so wrong
Towards all that I know, all that I love
But every sometime, we've got to spill blood
On that burning unfathomable desire

If I would've had that one spark of happiness
I could've shown the world my greatness
Took the world by storm, just being me
Well I guess life's that not easy
If the sorrow hadn't overtaken my life
I don't think I'd of turned out this way
But I guess, for now,
I'll have to show the world that fake smile

If only time had been on my side
Time.

I smiled successfully at my work of art before scribbling Time in big letters at the top of the song. I closed my journal and shoved it under my mattress, where I always kept my journals. Then, I stood up and moved my guitar back to the corner where I had placed it previously. Walking back to my queen sized bed, I realized that first I need to turn off the lights! After I did so, I crawled under my covers and left the Gods to eat my dreams.