It Beats For Two

The guilt was overwhelming. It was eating at me, tearing me apart form the inside out. I didn't know what to do. What Oli and I had done twice could never be reversed. I loved him so much, and I didn't regret any of it, except the fact that I was hurting my best friend, even if she didn't know.

Going into Drop Dead to do photo shoots was one of the hardest things to do, considering she was always there. And she was always by his side, holding his hand, whispering in his ear, giggling at his jokes, kissing him for a long time.

it made me absolutely sick.

Because I was jealous. I was a jealous, lying, backstabbing bitch who stole other women's men. But the fact that Oli was still flaunting his too tall, too skinny little tramp around in front of me is what pissed me off the most.

God, I am a horrible person.

It took everything I had to not rip the hair off her pretty little head. And this was my supposedly best friend. Sure, he was her man, not mine. Not yet, anyway. I was determined to make him mine, to steal him away from her. In my opinion, she didn't deserve him.

She was a whiny bitch who treated him horrible. The fact that he takes it is what really throws me off.

Whenever he comes over to talk, and I do mean to just talk, he's always complaining about her. Her, and her only. Never anything else, really, besides petty shit, like a "shitty" photo shoot. That man could never look bad, even if he was thrown in mud. I would still fuck his brains out in the mud.

All this anger was from guilt, from jealousy, and it was changing how I act.

Amanda and I haven't hung out in ages. Every phone call, every text, everything from her, I ignore. I can't face her. It would tear me apart even more.

But now I had to, because me being stupid, I agreed to do another photo shoot. Lucky for me, it was a topless shoot. With Mr. Oliver Sykes himself.

I walked into the warehouse, noticing first hand that Amanda wasn't around Oli. I put my bags down where they go, then walked over to him, tapping his shoulder lightly, a huge, child like, smile plastered over my face.

I felt like a fucking schoolgirl.

Oli turned around, staring down at me. He didn't say anything, just pointed to the hair and wakeup station, then went back to talking to Matt, one of the members of his band. I tried not to let a disappointed look come across my face. I turned quickly to get started with the make up, which I hated most of all.
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"Alrigh', Afton, turn toward Oleh, make sure yeh covered, an' Oleh, wrap yeh arms around 'er like she's yeh girl, yeah?" The photographer has been barking out orders at us for at least an hour now, and I was starting to get agitated. I thought it would be fun at first, but now, I just want this torture to be over with.

Oli looked aggravated as he roughly turned me toward him. I winced slightly in pain and folded my arms over my chest in attempt to cover up, then Oli wrapped his arms around me. His face told me he didn't want to be doing this, that he didn't want to be touching me. I gave him a questioning look, but he didn't see because he refused to look at me, unless the photographer is about to snap a picture. I obviously couldn't give him the look then.

The shoot ended soon and Oli walked off quickly, ignoring my attempt to talk to him. I walked over to my little station, with my back to everyone, and got my bra and top back on. As I threw on my sweater, I noticed Oli walking over. I perked up slightly, not wanting to show too much enthusiasm.

But Oli wasn't walking toward me. He was walking toward Amanda, who has just entered. He took her into his arms, giving her a long, loving kiss.

I stood there watching, dumbfounded, as I felt my stomach turn. I quickly grabbed all of my things, walking out of the building as fast as my short legs would carry me.