Love Tricked Me

I sat on the porch steps with a red cup in hand. I sipped the beer slowly as silent tears fell down my cheeks. I looked out into the street and at the neighboring houses.

This was a very cute neighborhood. It was like the one I imagined John and I living in after my fantasy wedding to him. I imagined that the band would take off and I would get pregnant at around 25. We would have three kids. A girl, a boy, and a wildcard. Maybe four if the last one was unplanned. The band would eventually settle down and John would get another job in the music industry. Then we would raise our family in Tempe and grow old together.

But from the way things were going I don't think that was going to happen. I felt someone sit down next to me and tried to wipe my tears away.

"I'm sorry." He said before pausing to take a drink. "I didn't expect you to still have feelings for me after this long or anything. You probably moved on a long time ago."

I just stayed silent and mentally argued with myself. Should I tell him? Or no?

He looked at me longingly from the side and I just kept looking forward. I couldn't bear to lock eyes with him when he looked so sad. Instead, I picked my hand up and placed it on top of his. He looked down in disbelief at our hands, this being the first time we touched in four years.

He laced our fingers much like he had that one day in Latin. I let him, as it felt nice to feel his skin against mine again.

"You're even more beautiful." He told me in a husky voice that was rather unfamiliar to me.

I mumbled an inaudible 'thank you' in response and took another drink. I probably should have stopped two drinks ago, but after seeing that tattoo and having all my feelings come rushing back, I needed to be a little tipsy. Or a lot.

We stayed there and finished our drinks in silence before I attempted to get up.

"Where are you going?" He asked.

"Home." I shrugged.

"You can't drive, Kay." He warned. "Let me take you."

I was too tired and drunk to care at the moment and merely shrugged in agreement. He put down his drink and pulled out his keys. I got in his car and pulled at my thigh highs that were riding down. He got in and glanced at me before putting his key in the ignition and pulling away from the house.

"Do you want to stay at my place tonight?" He asked knowing that my mother despised seeing her children drunk.

"Mm, yeah sure." I slurred.

He chuckled and nodded.

Before I knew it, I dosed off with my head resting against the cool window.

I was awoken when I felt my body being shifted and heard the jingle of keys. I opened my eyes and got a great view of Johns butt. He had me draped over his shoulder with an arm firmly holding my legs so I wouldn't fall.

"Down." I groaned like a child. He entered the apartment and walked me into what I assumed was his bedroom. My groggy body was placed gently on a soft bed at last. I leaned back onto the soft bed while John took my expensive Jimmy Choo's from my feet.

He placed them next to my bed and looked to me. "Need anything?" He asked.

"You."

John

My eyes widened and my heart almost popped out of my chest.

"W-what?"

"Come here." She whispered as she beckoned me with her index finger. She turned on her side and faced me so that I could see every contour of her body. I walked towards her, knowing with every step that this was so wrong, but not caring.

I got on the bed and laid her flat beneath me. I got in between her legs and attached our lips for what felt like the first time in forever. I cherished every moment that our lips were connected. I kissed her softly but passionately like I was starved for her lips. I ran my hands all over her body and pulled the top of her dress down to reveal her teasing lace bra.

She drunkenly moaned and I kissed her again, tasting the strong alcohol she had consumed previously. I stopped and pulled away. I looked into her glazed eyes and sighed.

"I can't do this."

"What're you talking 'bout?" She whined as I pushed myself off the bed.

"You're drunk, babe. This isn't right." I said.

"Please John." She begged.

"Ask me in the morning." Was all I said before exiting the room.

I kept telling myself that it was wrong, but there was no denying how right it felt.

How right her body felt under mine.

How right our lips felt when they were attached.

How right she felt.