I'll Be Damned If You're the Death of Me

A week had past since Austin and I had had our first little hook up, and he was really pressuring me to tell James.

I couldn't do it. I didn't even know how to start. Austin said he would give me until the last day of tour, or he would do it.

I like Austin, a lot. But then there's James, who I love, and is also the other half of my child. I can't move overseas with his kid. Even though he's rarely at home anyways.

I think I made a huge mistake.

"You've been keeping to yourself a lot lately. What's up?" James came and sat down next to me.

"We need to talk."

"Oh God you're pregnant again." James put his head in his hands.

"No no! It's just.... do you consider us together?"

He sighed of relief. "...Yes..."

"I mean isn't this just a front to get back at Danny?"

"I thought we were past all of that?"

"So us together right now is legit."

"What's the point?"

"I just wanted to say that... I'm glad we're together." He squeezed my hand and kissed me softly.

"I am, too."

--------

I had one more week to tell him. Austin thought we were together, and James thought we were together. This was such a mess. I was backstage with Brooklyn and Austin came and joined us.

"Hey there." He smiled at me. "Whatcha doing?"

"Just sorting some shirts."

"Hey Brooklyn, how are you little lady?"

"Good."

"Are you excited that you and mommy are coming to stay with me?"

"Austin!" I pushed him out of the room.

"What?"

"You CAN'T just go around saying whatever around her, she will repeat it!"

"It has to come out sometime!"

"You know what, I just don't think this will work. I belong with James."

"Oh I see how it is. You just like being able to fuck 2 guys at once, isn't it? You're a whore." He turned away and I grabbed his hand.

"Austin, please. Listen to me. I do like you, but when you have another human you're responsible for, you have to think what's best for them! And moving away from Brooklyn's family and everyone she knows is not the best thing for her!"

"You said it yourself James is hardly ever home! What's the difference?!"

"She still knows that's her dad, Austin. She still cries when he isn't there. She's not a newborn who isn't adjusted to her surroundings or people, she's aware of everything!"

"I can't deal with a kid right now anyways. Maybe it is best for you to stay where you are, and I just started liking the wrong woman."

"We can still be friends, if you want."

"I'll think about it."