The Past Isn't Really In The Past

He kissed me.

Oh, my fucking fuck. He flipping kissed me. I wasn't expecting him to do that. I couldn't wrap my head around why he kissed me. I've always secretly wanted that to happen, don't get me wrong. And damn, his lips felt good against my own. They were soft, that much I could tell even if the kiss itself was rough and quick. I still felt them. And damn, did I wanna kiss them again. They just felt so good against mine, I wanted to feel them again and maybe do a little more than just kiss him.. yeah, not right now.

But it was also in that moment that I suddenly realized that he kissed me and then ran. The look on his face was just as shocked as I felt and I kicked myself for just letting him run off like that and not even attempting to go catch him. I was too much in shock to really think or process anything. My head was slightly spinning and my legs were slightly shaky. Damn him and what his kisses do to me. I couldn't even remember what I did that brought it on. It was like I was drunk.

I decided to try to go and find him. He said something about wanting a candy bar? Where do they sell candy bars in this hotel? Shit, there were probably God knows how many shops in this damned hotel. Who knows which one he went in. I groaned and wriggled into my maroon basketball shorts and a plain black shirt - yes, I changed after I got back from my interview. I wanted to be comfy while hanging out with Jack but then all this happened and so now I have to be dressed. Goddamnit.

Grabbing my hotel key, I rushed out the room and made my way to the elevator. I really hope he doesn't do anything stupid, like cut again. I don't think I can handle it. It pains to me so much and he has no idea. He went easy on himself last time judging by the small quick glimpses I've had of his arm. Their shallow and hardly cuts, just scratches. Thank the Lord. And there weren't any more than like five.

I hit the down arrow of the elevator and waited as it counted down the numbers. I watched, almost impatiently and I was tapping my foot without realizing. Rian told me I do that when I'm on edge or impatient. How right he was because right now, my nerves were almost shot and I had to talk to Jack. I just had too.

The bright orange numbers suddenly stopped and the light went out, meaning this elevator had stopped working completely. What the fucking fuck! Not now. Come on! I groaned and hit the wall with my fist. I felt no pain due to my anger and annoyance. This can not be happening. This was the only elevator near our room and it stopped working! What the hell is up with that shit?

I paced around the little area where the elevator was and thought of any way I could somehow get down to the lobby and catch Jack in time to talk to him. I could go down that long ass hallway to the other elevator but I'm not feeling up to that and my legs are barely keeping me up now. And Jack might have taken some other elevator to get up here so I would miss him and whatnot and oh, my God when is this damned elevator gunna work! My nerves were working overdrive right now and my anxiety was not helping the matter. I felt sick and I felt like I would drop dead at many moment.

Apparently somewhere in my little mini panic attack, the elevator began to work and I just got to it when the doors opened and what I saw first made my jaw hit the floor with a gasp slipping out. Some boy had had Jack right against the wall, one hand on the back of his thigh, slowly bringing it so it was on said boy's hip. Jack seemed to be struggling at getting the other boy off and when they heard me, the bigger one jerked back and I saw the bastards face.

Jon.

Oh, hell fucking no. This just made my blood boil and when I looked at Jack, he looked like he was about to burst into tears at any moment. He had his head hung in what was probably shame and his lower lip was trembling like crazy and he was folded in on himself.

'You. Fucking. Bastard.' I hissed at Jon and he just smirked at me. My fists clenched at my sides and I had the serious urge to knock his lights out right then and there, make him forget his name, and wipe that smirk off his face permanently, hopefully making it to where he can never smile again.

'Geting worked up, Lexy?' He purred and I almost snapped and end his career right there but I heard a noise that caught my attention. Jack was crying now. Seeing my best friend cry was the most painful thing I've seen. And I hated every time he did.

'What did you do to him?' I barked and Jon just pretended to be thinking long and hard about whatever. He still had that mocking, asshole grin smeared on his face. He moved his eyes and locked them with my own, a cocky look on his face and an almost playful gleam in his eyes.

'Why, Alex, I did what we both wanted. You see, Jack just simply can't resit himself when it comes to me. He wanted it, hell, I wanted it. And so, I gave in to him and what he desired. You know how hard it is to deny Jack anything.'

That was the last straw. Making my best friend sound like a whore is the worst thing you can do and boy, he crossed that line fifty times and I've had enough. I knew better. I fucking knew better. Jack didn't want anything from this low piece of shit and I know I'm not buying what Jon said for a million dollars.

'I'm not buying that. I know what you did to him high school; lead him on, act like you gave a fuck and then when you finally got that home-run, you took off from the playing field. Leaving him a mess. He's not the whore, you are. A low, worthless whore. So don't you dare pin this on Jack. He did nothing wrong. He's not a whore. And you best back the fuck up. I'm not afraid to take you out with whatever I can find. You got that?' I snapped this out at him. I may be shorter than he was but that didn't mean I couldn't get in someone's face. And was I and I also took some pride in knowing I put the bright light of surprise and shock in those eyes of his.

I didn't let him reply, I grabbed Jack's shaking hand and lead him out of the elevator and back to the room. Where hopefully we can talk about this and move on.

I slid the hotel room door open and I pulled Jack inside. As soon as I shut the door, I heard a choked sob tear through the silence. And you have no idea what that sound did to me. It broke my heart, that's what it did.

'Shh, Jack, come on. Don't cry. C'mere, let's sit down.' I grabbed his hand and gently pulled him to the bed and we both piled on, Jack leaning against me and putting his head on my chest. I felt his tears through my shirt but I didn't care. It didn't matter, Jack was the only thing that mattered right now.

I ran my fingers through his hair and tried to soothe him as best as I could. It was killing me. All I really wanted to do was kiss him until he forget all his problems but I knew I couldn't do that. Not yet, anyway.

'Jack, are you okay?' I asked and he shook his head.

'No, I'm not.' He whimpered, a few more tears seeping out. God. I can't stand seeing him cry.

'Jack... what happened in the elevator? What did he do?'

He was silent a moment and for a split second I thought he had either fallen asleep or ignoring the question. I felt him breathing slow like he was calming himself down. His fingers curled around my hip and he pushed his face further in my chest.

'He.. he just kissed me. And.. he wouldn't let me go. I tried to get away, Lex, I swear I did. But he's so much stronger than I am and I couldn't get away. He forced himself on me. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.' And there were the tears again. Damnit..

'Hey, hey, hey. Listen to me. I'm not mad at you one bit. You have no reason to be apologizing to me. You didn't do a thing wrong. He forced himself on you. Don't apologize for that. Okay? Please, Jacky, stop crying. I hate seeing you so upset.' I whispered in his ear and he nodded as my chest.

'Are you sure you're not mad?' He looked at me through his dark eyelashes and I nodded.

'Promise.' Damn, it was getting hard to not kiss him. I really wanted it but I didn't want to and make him think I was forcing myself on him. His lips parted and he looked like he was gunna say something but then he shook his head and mumbled a 'nevermind' in my shirt and I think he fell asleep.